thelesterlee
Welcome to Media Mayhem where I make fun of media people whose jobs I used to want when I was a teenager until I realized how unremarkable most of these folks are. This week we have Fox Sports 1 switching things up and RGIII and Sam Ponder getting fired on their day off.
New FS1 Lineup Dropped
This may be brief as I’ve retired from watching cable sports programming so I won’t pretend as if Fox Sports One changing their TV lineup has life-altering effects on me but with Skip Bayless retiring from being a lazy, intentionally moronic, contrarian asshole fueled by spite, money and HGH, FS1 needed to switch things up.
Let’s take a look at the new lineup:
- Breakfast Ball (8-10 a.m. ET) – Hosts: Craig Carton, Mark Schlereth, Danny Parkins
- The Facility (10 a.m. – 12 p.m. ET) – Hosts: Emmanuel Acho, LeSean McCoy, Chase Daniel, James Jones
- The Herd (12-3 p.m. ET) – Hosts: Colin Cowherd, Jason McIntyre
- First Things First (3-5 p.m. ET) – Hosts: Nick Wright, Chris Broussard, Kevin Wildes
- Speak (5 p.m. ET) – Hosts: Keyshawn Johnson, Paul Pierce, Joy Taylor
I don’t have much to say about like, First Things First, so here are a few random thoughts I have about this new FS1 lineup:
1. Emmanuel Acho is perhaps the most annoying sports media personality for me as he rose to relevance post-George Floyd by coddling white people, writing a book and creating a video series essentially attempting to ease their guilt by babying them like they are victims.
Along with bringing the same condescending speaking cadence to sports media, he also provides Jason Whitlock-ish takes minus the seething jealousy and hangriness Whitlock has mastered.
I’ll never forget him calling out Sha’Carri Richardson after she tested positive for weed. Acho said weed was a performance-enhancing drug. Herby fully loaded. Nothing that man loves more than the taste of boots.
And you know now that Skip is gone, Emmanuel’s nonsense will get odder and louder. He’s going to feel the pressure from FS1 execs to go viral and we’re about to here the lamest, cooniest garbage anyone’s ever conceived of.
2. The New York Post reported Michelle Beadle was close to joining and co-hosting with Craig Carton. It would’ve been dope to see her back on television after being dumped by ESPN. I always thought she was one of the better hosts who genuinely cared about the things that came out of her mouth and just seemed like a normal human.
I don’t know if she turned down the offer or Danny Perkins just had a leg up since he regularly appears on Colin Cowherd’s podcast. I imagine Cowherd’s words hold weight to those hallways.
Still, it’s probably best she isn’t in the background of the inevitable Craig Carton viral clips—like when he said the Dallas Cowboys season was over because Dak Prescott had a baby and that was a distraction from winning as if Dak is the first QB in sports history to have a family.
3. Okay, let’s just talk about Craig Carton for a second since we’re here.
I recognize his whole schtick is tongue and cheek and he’s mostly joking but like, he’s not very funny or clever or smart. Perhaps it’s because my brain is fully formed or maybe I’m just a snob who only likes things that are good—but when you can’t describe someone’s career without using the word ‘antics’ then you’re not describing a person I want to give my time and attention to.
Earlier this summer, when talking about the Lakers hiring JJ Redick, Carton said “If you kiss the right ass, you can accomplish anything”.
Feel you, dog.
I’m sure Craig has never kissed any ass.
WFAN re-hired Carton after he spent a year and a half in federal prison for fraud because he is soooooo talented and not because his lips were tattooed on his boss’s ass.
Craig Carton looks like a before picture of a gambler who needs to turn their life around.
4. Shout out Chase Daniel. College football legend.
5. Pray for Joy Taylor. Paul Pierce and Keyshawn Johnson just sent Skip Bayless to his grave. Get all the simping out of your system now because Joy Taylor is like, 18 months away from looking like Joy Behar.
ESPN’s last minute cuts
Football season starts soon—perfect time for ESPN to fire two of their prominent NFL personalities. Sam Ponder and Robert Griffin III.
I don’t have much to say about Sam Ponder losing her job. I don’t love NFL Sunday Countdown but it was fine. But whenever one of ESPN’s boats sinks, they stick Mike Greenberg in to patch the leak.
Mike Greenberg and Rex Ryan. Congrats to Jets fans for having their very own 3-hour pre-show on ESPN.
Personally, I’m more concerned about RGIII losing his job several hours after what I can only imagine was the greatest moment of his life.
God giveth, god taketh away. RGIII and his prop wife were so excited to share this photo of them Lady and the Tramp-ing a James and the Giant Peach-sized baked good only to check his phone and get an email thanking him for his time and wishing him luck on his future endeavors.
What is it, the bread?
RGIII will land at some college football network so he and his beard wife may continue traveling the globe consuming large, phallic-shaped pastries.
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