Tuesday night, 30 boys joined the work force—drafted into the NBA to pursue dreams, chase ghosts, get hoes and/or cash out. To me, all of those reasons are equally just.
Magic Johnson is someone’s GOAT and he balled to get between her legs.
I love the NBA.
More specifically, I love young men weeping on television in their mother’s loving, understanding arms—before dapping up their new landlord, league commissioner Adam Silver, followed by a sit-down Lisa Salter interview—within a makeshift set the ESPN broadcast keeps letting us know is makeshift—pressing them about their brand new feelings and the various illnesses within their immediate families.
I have notes regarding some of the first round selections…
Here are 9 questions I have following the 2026 NBA Draft First Round:
1. Can Trae Young and AJ Dybansta co-exist?
Trae Young has the 6th-highest usage rate in NBA history (31.7%)
AJ Dybansta’s coming off a freshman season at BYU where his usage rate was over 30%.
Not a single eyebrow raised in Washington.
I have a theory everyone in DC is desensitized to everything—Trump abusing them to a lull—but I’ll save that for another day. Let’s continue trying to make sense of Washington’s offense.
Alex Sarr and Bub Carrington were number 2 and 1 in total field goal attempts last season. I know it resulted in a record worthy of the 2nd pick but their head coach, Brian Keefe, let Bam Adebayo score 83 on their heads. Why should I trust he can sit this team down and refresh everyone’s roles like he has any sort of winning credibility in that locker room?
Oh, also Anthony fucking Davis.
Shout out Kyshawn George and Tre Johnson too.
The Wizards just re-signed Trae to a 4-year $212 million extension after acquiring him at the deadline when many teams also had the option to acquire Trae and did not.
Washington is all in on Trae as their leading ball handler.
Cool.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I reckon.
What’s the offense, though?
2. Is Darryn Peterson enough help for Ace Bailey
From Ace Bailey’s lens, while Cooper Flagg, VJ Edgecomb, Dylan Harper and Kon Knueppel proved they were playoff-caliber stars, Ace knew his franchise was tanking to get him some help, so he took his foot off the gas.
Why should he have tried?
Lauri Markkanen just stopped appearing in games all of a sudden.
They traded for Jaren Jackson Jr. and sent him to open-heart surgery or whatever.
Ace had nothing to prove.
So now, with Lauri playing, Jaren here, Walker Kessler hopefully back, it’s time for Ace Bailey to lead these civilians to the cup.
Personally, I believe Darryn Peterson is the best player in this draft with the highest superstar ceiling (I believe the Kobe and Kawhi comparisons), the perfect Robin to Ace Bailey’s Batman.
3. Should The Grizzlies Just Keep Ja Morant?
The Memphis Grizzlies left the first round with Cam Boozer and Karim Lopez.
Along with Cedric Coward and Zach Edey, what if the Grizzlies just keep Ja Morant and they’re good again?
Perhaps I’m too ambitious; everyone I named outside of Ja yet to experience an NBA playoff atmosphere.
From what I read, no one’s in a hurry to acquire Ja—coming off his strangest season—nationally televised games where he showed zero effort, treating NBA games like trips to the DMV.
The Grizzlies don’t need to trade Ja for the resin at the bottom of the bong if Ja wants to be there and more talented players work there next year.
If Memphis signs zero free agents, Cam Boozer and Karim Lopez are enough to make the team better than they were.
They don’t have enough to beat the Spurs and the Thunder.
Sure.
Who does?
But I don’t think that means you need to be a last-place team until you magically land the next Victor Wembanyama.
Cam Boozer is going to turn Ja’s life around like a newborn baby he’s suddenly responsible for.
4. Do the Nets have enough young point guards?
Last season, the Brooklyn Nets selected 4 players in the first round—3 of which teenage guards.
They struggled.
Because they were teenage guards playing without structure, purpose or vets to guide them.
So naturally, with the 6th pick, the Brooklyn Nets selected 20-year point guard Mikel Brown Jr.
But this time, they added a vet to educate the neophyte.
The Nets traded for All-NBA power forward Julius Randle.
Between Michael Porter Jr spending all his free time with porn stars from *every* category and Julius Randle missing his first shot, then rage-quitting the game—I think the Nets should acquire a few more young point guards to lie beneath this legendary learning tree.
5. Is Kawhi Leonard gone?
The Los Angeles, with the 5th pick, selected point guard Keaton Wagler from Illinois.
Wagler was not ranked in the top 200 of his high school class.
Don’t love that.
If I have the 5th pick in an NBA Draft, I promise you I am not selecting a point guard who wasn’t one of the best in high school.
The PG runs the O.
We just watched the Spurs need De’Aaron Fox and all of his missed jumpers because young Stephon Castle couldn’t stop dropping bounce passes into the front row.
Keaton Wagler isn’t an explosive athlete. He recorded a grand total of zero (0) dunks this season. He doesn’t explode past his defenders.
So now the Clippers have a weird Darius Garland/Keaton Wagler backcourt—neither guy I trust playing alongside Kawhi Leonard—one of the best basketball players in the history of history.
Steve Ballmer sent millions to a scam company to sign Kawhi Leonard, so I can’t imagine he’s in a hurry to trade him, especially with their new arena needing a superstar on the marquee.
Maybe Wagler is packaged in a deal to Boston for Jaylen Brown, but the Clippers—whether the goal is to win a championship or qualify for a playoff berth or just fill the arena—require additional maintenance.
6. Is Caleb Wilson lowkey the best of them all?
Caleb Wilson, physically, is ready for NBA basketball. He’s also in the best position to succeed.
AJ Dybansta has to deal with Trae and AD silly superstar power trips.
Darryn Peterson won’t have the green light in Utah with Lauri Markkanen and all the young cats already on the roster.
The Grizzlies aren’t in a hurry to do anything until Ja Morant is gone.
Caleb Wilson is taking off on a free runway, built like young Amare Stoudamire, teaming with Josh Giddey, who wants nothing more than to toss lobs to burly men—overcompensating much?—no one on the roster taking any shots or opportunities away from Caleb.
If Matas Buzelis wanted to be the star of the team, or was even capable of doing so, he would’ve been by now.
Perhaps playing alongside Caleb Wilson will propel him.
I’m a Chicago Bulls fan on the low. Apparently.
7. Who will go viral one day interviewing Darius Acuff Jr about his time in Sacramento?
Sacramento Kings selected point guard Darius Acuff Jr. with the no. 7 pick. At 6-foot-3, Acuff averaged 23 points a game for Arkansas.
Now he joins a Sacramento Kings organization dedicated to losing basketball games and rostering a group of players who make no sense on the court together.
Darius Acuff’s rookie season, he’s playing with DeMar DeRozan, Domantas Sabonis and Russell Westbrook. Who knows if Zach LaVine will be back?
Darius Acuff is about to see things no rookie should see. Daemon Targaryen quivering on the floors of Harrenhal.
8. Is Brayden Burnes and Nate Arment enough to build a team round?
The post-Giannis era will be hosted by guard Brayden Burnes and forward Nate Arment—who the ESPN broadcast said, according to a physician, is not done growing.
Can Milwaukee rebuild Giannis in the aggregate?
No.
This team, as long as Kyle Kuzma is here and Myles Turner is unmotivated, will be at the bottom of the standings.
But these are lotto tickets.
Anything can happen.
Hope springs eternal.
The Bucks will be bad for a long time.
9. Cameron Carr or Bronny James?
Every second Bronny James appears on an NBA court, the Lakers are not playing competitive basketball. Whatever size he’s listed at, he’s teenier, tinier; his minutes are a LeBron tax his 90-year-old carcass can no longer afford.
Here’s 4 minutes of Cameron Carr in college doing shit that would explode Bronny James’s atrium.
Cameron Carr at Baylor:
18.9 PPG
5.8 RPG
2.6 APG
1.3 BPG
2.3 3PG
37.4% 3PTGoing to the Lakers with the No. 24 pick.pic.twitter.com/RvBMBW65Lw
— Underdog NBA (@UnderdogNBA) June 24, 2026
Yea, give this man all of Marcus Smart’s sloppy minutes. This is the most athletic player on the Lakers since the first year LeBron signed.
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