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9 Bold (Borderline Stupid) Predictions For The 2024-25 NBA Season

From the Memphis Grizzlies winning the West to the Houston Rockets making a blockbuster trade, here are the 2024-25 NBA season predictions

2024-25 nba season predictions

We made it. We finally made it. The 2024-25 NBA season begins this week which means it’s time to wildly speculate on the outcomes of all 82 games before a single one gets played. As is tradition.

Some of these predictions fit the bold category and some of these predictions fit the stupid category but I stand ten toes down on all of my takes. Everything you read here will occur. I promise.

Here are bold (borderline stupid) predictions for the 2024-25 NBA season:

1. The New York Knicks are winning the title

knicks game 1

Last season, the Boston Celtics were the only team in the East capable of dismantling the fully operational Knicks. Unfortunately, the fully operational Knicks only lasted a month before each cog in the machine malfunctioned one-by-one, causing gears and springs and nuts and bolts to fly off the engine.

This season, the Knicks created a team designed, to the exact molecules, to put Boston in a stranglehold.

OG Anunoby, Josh Hart and Mikal Bridges will dislocate elbows playing Red Rover against Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown while Karl-Anthony Towns is the ultimate Kristaps Porzingis neutralizer.

The Brunson/Towns two-man game will be unstoppable. Towns can pick and pop like Julius Randle did but he’s a better perimeter shooter than Julius and makes quicker decisions, but unlike Randle, Towns is more willing to roll to the rim for easy buckets.

The Knicks will have a Top 3 offense and defense. Championship parade incoming.


2. Ja Morant MVP

ja morant

Before the entire Memphis roster made their residency in the ICU last season, the Grizzlies finished 2nd in the West back-to-back years.

Marcus Smart and Zach Edey are better than Dillon Brooks and Steven Adams.

Desmond Bane is one of the best perimeter shooters in the world. Jaren Jackson is a perennial DPOY candidate. Marcus Smart has a fraudulent DPOY and he’s a vocal leader in the locker room. Taylor Jenkins is one of the best X’s and O’s coaches in the A. Zach Edey will turn smaller defenders into cigarette butts.

And Ja Morant is the nuclear energy that fuels everything. Morant dribbles with the intensity of a serial killer once they locate their prey. Ja Morant checking into a basketball game is a declaration of war against the other team’s players, coaches, trainers, water boys, bus drivers and any family member they have in attendance.

Ja had basketball taken from him by nagging injuries and Instagram but I think the chip on his shoulder would make Atlas blush.


3. The Sixers don’t make it past the play-in game

2024-25 nba season

It’s always great when you build your team around a guy who doesn’t have working knees. The Clippers won all those championships with Kawhi.

Joel Embiid announced he won’t play in back-to-backs for the rest of his career—meaning his knee is cooked and he’ll be missing far more games than just back-to-backs.

This is a problem when their big star free agent signing is an injury-prone loser who, too, is already injured with a hyperextended knee.

I like Tyrese Maxey’s game. He turned into Tony Parker in the playoffs but Tony Parker isn’t good enough to bring Eric Gordon and Andre fucking Drummond to the playoffs on his own.

The Sixers were in the play-in last season and barely beat the Miami Heat by just 1 point.

One more full season of wear and tear on Embiid’s knee and I have no idea how this team would suddenly be better than last year.

Shout out to all of the “the Sixers won the offseason” people. Signing Guerschon Yabusele is your championship.


4. We will all hate JJ Redick

jj redick

In his brief time at ESPN, JJ Redick shit on the NBA media for their pursuit of clickbait over actual in-depth, university-level analysis. On his podcasts with LeBron or his balding co-host—whose entire personality is Instagram dinners with celebrities—JJ frequently complained about the media.

So what do you think will happen when the Lakers inevitably go on a losing streak and JJ has nightly press conferences with the same media he despises?

JJ Redick is about to have some awful quotes as he comes off like Cam Newton when he laughed at the woman reporter who asked him about his receiver’s routes.

He’s 1000% going to call out NBA Twitter for making fun of Bronny James after an 0-for-10 performance. The phrase ‘mom’s basement’ will be used.

I liked JJ’s podcast and fortunately, after this disastrous 2024-25 NBA season, he’ll be back to it because a team whose starting backcourt is D’Angelo Russell and Austin Reeves is not winning shit—yet every single year, a starting backcourt of D’Angelo Russell and Austin Reeves jog out onto the court and every year it’s the same outcome.


5. Milwaukee Bucks will blow a 3-1 lead

2024-25 nba season

Damian Lillard spent last offseason cheating on his wife and rapping about loyalty as he awaited a trade to Miami so he could experience the most fun divorce ever known to man—but instead, he was sent to Wisconsin to go sit in a small, cold, empty apartment by himself for a year.

With a full offseason to train without fear of an injury derailing a trade, Dame will be Dame, or at least closer to it than he was last season.

This veteran group has one last run in them before this whole house of cards crumbles. I imagine Giannis went to visit Dame, Khris Middleton and Brook Lopez individually to convince them all to agree on ‘one last job’.

And I’m willing to go as far as predicting the Milwaukee Bucks end the season with the 1 or 2 seeds in the East.

Doc Rivers crushes regular seasons. It’s what he does. He has the 8th most wins in NBA history. I hate the way he motivates his teams but I can’t deny his team stays motivated. At least in the regular season.

But I believe this is the finish line of the Giannis Antentokounmpo Milwaukee Bucks era and it’ll end the only way a Doc Rivers-led squad knows how to end: blowing a 3-1 lead.

I don’t know if it’ll be the Orlando Magic or the Cleveland Cavaliers but some team we all deem as less than the Bucks will come back from a 3-1 deficit to create an entire 2025 NBA offseason centered around the Giannis trade sweepstakes.

God, I can’t wait for the Knicks to win the championship and add Giannis. The dynasty starts today.

(He’ll probably end up on the OKC Thunder).


6. Houston Rockets take a big swing

2024-25 nba season predictions

The Houston Rockets have too many good young players without an established hierarchy. OKC has a ton of young players but they all understand they’re not as good as Shai Gilgeous-Alexander.

Between Jalen Green, Reed Sheppard, Alperen Sengun, Cam Whitmore and Jabari Smith, and not to forget role players like Amen Thompson, Tori Eason and Jae’Sean Tate—the Rockets need to condense this roster if they hope to take things to the next level.

So I’d like to present some trades for you:

Jimmy Butler from Miami for Jalen Green, Amen Thompson and Tari Eason

The Miami Heat may suck. Jimmy Butler can’t come down from a layup without limping back down the court. At 35 years old with a $50 million player option coming next offseason, Miami could move on from their in-house barista.

Brandon Ingram, Jordan Hawkins and Yves Missi from New Orleans for Alperen Sengun

I love Brandon Ingram’s game. The New Orleans Pelicans do not. Once they realize positionless basketball doesn’t work against guys like Anthony Davis and Nikola Jokic, they’ll be blowing up Rafael Stone’s phone like Moriah Mills after Zion Williamson finally texts her back 12 hours later saying “Sorry fell asleep”.

Kawhi Leonard from LA for Jalen Green, Dillon Brooks and Jeff Green

I considered a James Harden reunion in Houston but Ime Udoka would rather turn down after-work drinks with the boss’s wife and go home to his family than attempt to get Harden to rotate off-ball on defense. Kawhi’s legs may be made of tapioca but if Houston has a decent record at the trade deadline, they could make a move for the Trevor Hoffman of the NBA.


7. Charlotte Hornets make the playoffs

2024-25 nba season predictions

Look, someone has to make the playoffs in the East and I already eliminated the Sixers. If I believe coaching will be the Bucks downfall then I have to believe Charles Lee will have the Hornets cooking.

Charles Lee is coming from the Boston Celtics—where you had to walk home from the arena if you passed up an open 3. They did a code red to Robert Williams because he couldn’t shoot 3’s. You want Joe Mazzula on that wall, you NEED him on that wall.

Last season, the Celtics ranked 1st in 3-point attempts while the Hornets ranked 17th.

Now, I don’t know if the Hornets have the personnel to *make* all of the threes they’re about to take but between the IG influencer who plays basketball sometimes, the murder accomplice and Chris Brown with an astronomically worse discography—the Hornets can make the play-in game and sneak into the playoffs as an 8th seed

Oh, I just thought of the new nickname for these hooligans and their new coach: Charlie’s Angels. Filing the trademark now.


8. Zaccharie Risacher is the Rookie of the Year

nba rookies

Let’s quickly run through some award predictions. I already mentioned Ja Morant will be the MVP so we’ll keep it moving.

Defensive Player of the Year: OG Anunoby

Bridges, Hart and Anunoby will all benefit from each other’s aggressiveness and versatility that all 3 of these guys will be deflecting balls and diving into passing lanes. OG will physically separate himself from the other two as he looks like a wildebeest with a Knicks jersey sewn onto him.

Rookie of the Year: Zaccharie Risacher

Zach Edey will have the wins to get the votes but I think his stats will depend on nightly big-man matchups so he won’t be putting up great numbers frequently. Reed Sheppard is fighting for minutes in Houston. Literally. I think Cam Whitmore is swinging on someone this year.

But Zaccharie Risacher might actually be that Dude.

 

Sixth Man: Donte DiVincenzo

My boy’s ready.

Most Improved: Victor Wembanyama

Wemby will look like a Top 5 player in the league but there are a ton of great young players who haven’t gotten theirs yet and Wemby has to wait in line. SGA to Luka to Tatum to Anthony Edwards to Jalen Brunson to Ja to Booker to Banchero—not a single MVP trophy among them.

So I think voters will give Wemby the wackest trophy they have. Congrats.

Coach of the Year: Tom Thibodeau

Time to give the best coach in the NBA his flowers. Do you understand how many awful coaches I’ve watched?? From buffoon


9. Ben Simmons plays 82 games

nba players normal

My boldest, stupidest prediction yet, Ben Simmons will be healthy and play all 82 games this season. I don’t think all those 82 will be in a Nets jersey but Big Benjamin Simmz will be returning to All-Star form this year and if he doesn’t then I will become ever more insufferable than the people who already hate him for no reason.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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