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50 Biggest Questions Heading Into The 2024 NFL Season (And The Correct Answers)

From MVP predictions to coaching conundrums, here are the 50 biggest questions heading into the 2024 NFL Season (and the answers).

2024 nfl season

We have finally made it. The 2024 NFL season is here. But there’s still a ton of questions around the league.

Fortunately for you, I not only have all the questions but I know all the answers as well.

Here are the biggest questions heading into the 2024 NFL season (and the correct answers):

 

The New York Giants Tier

1. Can Daniel Jones save his career?

Alright, brother. Kay Adams won’t be flirting with you when you become a backup after another lame season where you can’t move an offense down field.

This is it.

Everything in Daniel Jones’s life has led to the 2024 NFL season.

Every film session. Every missed social event spent combing through game film. Practice in the type of heat that makes you see the Lord. Practices in temperatures so low, Josh Giddey has a Snapchat streak with them.

See, Jones may have gotten a fat contract but the Giants have a way out from under it. If Jones gets injured this season, the clause in his contract allows New York to cut him next offseason without any financial penalty.

Daniel Jones has to play 17 games this season and establish himself as a starting quarterback capable of staying on the field and scoring touchdowns.

Answer: No.

Daniel Jones is coming off a torn ACL and he visits a neck specialist regularly. Jones’s most successful season came from him tucking the ball himself, exposing his body to beatdowns.

So either he takes over the running game again, sending him to the blue medical tent by a linebacker who was just caught cheating the night before and has A LOT of stress—or he tries to preserve his health, staying in the pocket too long to get blindsided by an edge rusher full of an undetectable cocktail of expensive, performance-enhancing chemicals.

But what a run Jones had. He may go down as, heck, maybe the 22nd or 23rd-best QB in Giants history. Good for him. Right next to the guy who hosts The Bachelor.

2. Does Malik Nabers have patience?

With all the obvious Odell Beckham comparisons, we will quickly learn if Malik Nabers is like Odell by how he handles getting open downfield, frantically waving for the ball as his QB gets strip-sacked in the backfield.

Answer: I think Nabers will be fine. At least for this season. Giants owner, John Mara, already unretired the no. 1 for Nabers to wear.

John Mara is a starfucker.

He treated Saquon Barkley like he was god’s gift to football. He made this front office re-sign Daniel Jones and now he has his arm around Malik Nabers like he won the auction.

At this point, Mara cares more about making sure his stars are pampered than he cares about making sure his stars win football games.

3. Do the Giants have a professional offensive line yet?

Since Tom Coughlin left, offensive linemen show up to the Giants facility and suffer amnesia walking through the door, exclusively forgetting how to coordinate their arms and legs.

Nat Solder was a Super Bowl-winning left tackle and was the worst lineman in the NFL the moment he signed the e-doc.

Ereck Flowers was a first-round pick that looked like he walked onto the team off a 3rd shift stocking shelves at Stop and Shop.

And Evan fucking Neal…

I hate you, Evan.

Answer: No. Apparently, Jets staff walked away from their preseason scrimmages believing the Giants offensive line improved.

Cool.

They were abysmal last season so an improvement doesn’t necessarily mean they’re good. Just better than almost nonexistent.

4. What was the point of the Brian Burns trade?

The Giants won 6 games last year.

They were irrelevant losers who existed as a meme team, celebrating the pizza delivery driver who won a contest at the Jersey Shore tiki bar to become the New York Giants starting quarterback.

It made no sense to trade a high second-round pick to Carolina for a pass rusher when they could’ve used that pick to fix the glaring holes ALL over their roster—and it would’ve been substantially cheaper too.

Answer: To destroy quarterbacks.

Brian Burns had 8 sacks last season and 12.5 the year before. Kayvon Thibodeaux started last season slow but finished with 11.5 sacks.

Together, Kayvon Thibodeaux and Brian Burns will tie offensive linemen to the back of two motorcycles and drive them in opposite directions. There’s a 90% chance Brian Burns scores more touchdowns than Daniel Jones.

The “I Hate These Guys” Tier

derek carr

5. Will Justin Fields steal the QB1 job?

Justin Fields plays football like the maniac in the heist movie who shoots the security guard because he was looking at him funny. Like, he’s great getting in and out of a safe but put a gun in his hands, you’re about to be on America’s Most Wanted.

Flashes of brilliance explode out of Justin Fields at random moments but more often than not, he’s staring down his first read, rocketing a ball directly into the chest plate of a cornerback while a wide receiver on the other side of the field stands like, 20 yards away from his defender just getting cardio in.

Answer: Does it matter? Bringing in Justin Fields in case Russell Wilson doesn’t work out is like scooping up puddle water from your driveway to put in your morning coffee because the milk is expired. Thoughts and prayers to everyone involved. Russell Wilson. Justin Fields. Ben Roethlisberger. Me. Who cares? We all suck.

6. How is Derek Carr still a thing?

Derek Carr is my least favorite professional athlete of all time. I fucking hate Derek Carr.

Never have I ever seen someone demonstrate so little talent while being automatically penciled in as a guaranteed starter year after year.

His arm is weak. He’s slow and unathletic. He cries when he’s tackled. He wears eye shadow like JD Vance or The Night Man.

Carr doesn’t read a defense particularly well. His live reaction time is delayed. None of his teammates are excited about working with him. He’s a bitch. A loser. Dork. Boot licker. Baby.

Yet, he’s been a starting quarterback for a decade.

When people say the NFL is racist, Derek Carr should be the only example that needs to be thrown out for evidence.

In a league full of truly special, jaw-dropping talent, an ordinary, regular-ass dofus can maintain a DECADE of being slightly above tolerable by simply having a strong handshake, sitting up straight, being polite, quoting bible verses and needing to apply SPF before every practice.

Jacoby Brissett is on his 5th team in 8 years. And Brissett isn’t particularly good BUT NEITHER IS DEREK CARR.

Sure, if you had to choose one to start Week 1, you’d probably choose Carr but you wouldn’t feel excited about it. And honestly, you’ll still lose whether you have Brissett or Carr because neither of them are good enough to change the outcomes of games. Yet only one of them has a lifetime QB1 spot reserved for them.

If Derek Carr is such a devout Christian with a close relationship with god, why hasn’t he prayed for the ability to throw a football further than 15 yards? Or the ability to stay calm under pressure?

Perhaps he is.

Derek Carr is letting Jesus take the wheel and Jesus isn’t that great of a quarterback.

And none of Carr’s qualities make him a bad person. I do not wish harm his way.

But I don’t watch the NFL to see kind, god-fearing, well-adjusted sweeties.

I watch the NFL to see Lamar Jackson juke a linebacker out of his cleats and take a broken play to the house for a 40-yard scamper.

I watch to see Khalil Mack predict the snap count, getting an insane jump, allowing him to burst past the offensive line untouched so he can bodyslam a QB through the asthenosphere.

Answer: Sorry, I just blacked out. I hate Derek Carr so much. What was the question? Oh, why is he still a thing? I think I answered that. His skin pigment.

7. Is Dak Prescott good enough to be the highest-paid quarterback?

NFL insiders have predicted Dak Prescott will be the first QB to make $60 million a year. He’d be the highest-paid player ever. His contract would set new records.

Anddddd Jordan Love just ran the Cowboys out of the gym.

Dak is coming off a 2023 where he threw for 4,516 yards and led the NFL with 36 passing touchdowns. He just blessed CeeDee Lamb with generational wealth. And after this season, it’s his turn.

Answer: No, but it won’t matter. As the salary cap keeps growing, Dak will be a discount by the end of his deal.

He’ll be so underpaid by the time his $60 million deal ends, he might hold out again. Archie Manning will make twice as much before he even graduates college.

Prescott isn’t good enough to be the highest-paid QB. Not even close. But he won’t be for long.

8. What’s up with Deshaun Watson?

I’ve talked a tonnnnnn of shit about Deshaun Watson for a tonnnnn of reasons but like, can we be real for a second?

The fuck is up with this guy?

Pervert stuff aside, I LOVED watching Deshaun play.

He was going to be a Hall of Famer. And then he missed two seasons with injuries and holding out for more cash and tricking women into touching his wee wee.

The man who showed up in Ohio is not the guy I watched drag shitty Texans teams to playoff victories. Cleveland Browns Deshaun is a different cat.

Answer: It’s over for Watson.

Remember in 2018 when Deshaun Watson had to take a bus to road games because his RIBS AND LUNGS were so injured he couldn’t handle plane pressure?

Obviously, his reputation being ruined has vastly affected his confidence but I don’t think we talk enough about how physically damaged Watson is.

HE’S HURT RIGHT NOW.

Andrew Luck retired early after a ton of injuries and Deshaun Watson is dangerously close to being the next superstar to be taken out in his prime.

Also he’s a super weirdo so good riddance.

9. How can Saquon Barkley sleep at night?

The Giants gave Saquon Barkley EVERYTHING.

Everything except a good offensive line, a functional quarterback, an offensive gameplan that highlighted his strengths and the contract he wanted.

But outside of that, Saquon betrayed the Giants.

And now he’s on the Philadelphia Eagles. *spits* Disgusting.

Answer:

That $26 million guaranteed will afford you some of the finest thread counts. I reckon Saquon sleeps fine…

The Old Man Tier

10. Can Odell Beckham Jr have one final run?

It feels like Odell Beckham has been chasing this fairy-tale ending for his career.

It’s the only way to explain why this incredibly rich, famous and successful young man continues to try running routes knowing damn well he can’t get out of bed in the morning without experiencing excruciating pain.

Odell almost had that fairy tale moment when he helped the Rams win the Super Bowl but he ripped his knee to shreds and hasn’t been able to consistently stay on the field since.

Answer: Sure. He’s on the right team to do it. The Dolphins have so many talented playmakers that coach Mike McDaniel knows how to scheme open. All Odell has to do is grab one catch a game and it’ll most likely be a 70-yard touchdown. Keep chasing that dragon.

11. Can Joe Flacco repeat his 2023 magic?

Joe Flacco was spending his Sundays playing with his kids with a fresh cigarette hanging from his bottom lip when the Browns called him in a panic. He peeled himself off his couch and led Cleveland to the playoffs.

And now he’s back in the NFL as the Indianapolis Colts QB2.

Anthony Richardson plays football like his team gets extra points every time he slams his helmet full speed into a linebacker’s.

Joe Flacco will get to play.

Answer: No. Joe Flacco went 4-1 as the Browns starter.

Deshaun Watson went 5-1.

Cleveland’s defense was legendary last season. Anyone could’ve been their quarterback. The machine was operating on autopilot. I could’ve won a few games back there and I have never thrown a football further than 2 yards. They call me Young Derek Carr when I lace them up.

Joe Flacco on the Colts isn’t quite the same situation.

Flacco will join a long list of aging, awful QBs sent to Indianapolis to die.

From Matt Ryan to Philip Rivers to Carson Wentz, Joe Flacco playing for the Colts is like when you come home from school to see your goldfish bowl empty and your mother tells you he went to a farm upstate to swim freely or whatever.

12. Can Kirk Cousins improve the Falcons?

I will go ahead and assume this is the first time anyone’s assumed Kirk Cousins could make a team better. But Atlanta’s division is a cakewalk. Kirk has to outplay Derek Carr twice this season. Light work.

Answer: No. Why do we think a 36-year-old off an achilles tear who was never better than like, the 9th-best QB will suddenly be able to come into a brand new system and succeed?

Has Kirk Cousins ever succeeded?

Last season, Kirk was better than Desmond Ridder. Duh. But again, a QB whose favorite play is getting sacked on 3rd and long is now coming off a brutal foot injury and he’s one year older. At this point, Kirk may just be Desmond Ridder with worse fits.

13. Will Michael Penix Jr have any impact?

And if Kirk sucks, Michael Penis is right there behind him. We’ll all applaud the Falcons for wasting using the no. 8 pick on an old, injured quarterback after giving a ton of cash to an old, injured quarterback.

Answer: I personally believe Michael Penix Jr throws the best ball out of all the rookie QBs and he will for sure have his opportunity to prove that but not anytime soon.

The New Team, Same Me Tier

14. Is the Derrick Herny era over?

This man has led the NFL in carries 4 of the last 5 seasons.

At age 30, Derrick Henry will either take the already dominant Baltimore Ravens rush attack to all-time, historic levels or he’ll be an old guy who kinda sucks now and gets in the way.

Answer: Not quite. Adrian Peterson is the last dominant, 3-down running back of Derrick Henry’s caliber. At age 30, he led the league in carries, rush yards and touchdowns. And he didn’t have Lamar Jackson running the option with him. I’m sure his son was happy he wasn’t home on Sundays. Derrick Henry will be fine.

15. Is Sam Darnold good at football?

Sam Darnold’s career is the ultimate confirmation bias for whatever you believe.

He either sucks, had a bad start in New York and will be better with a fresh start elsewhere or he had a year with Kyle Shanahan so he’s automatically a better QB than he was on the Jets or he has the best offense he’s ever played in with Justin Jefferson as his WR1. No matter what you think of Sam Darnold, you are right.

Any time I listen to an NFL podcast, no matter if they’re yappers like Colin Cowherd or stat heads like Mina Kimes, everyone seems to believe Sam Darnold is something that I have never once seen him be.

Am I wrong in thinking the guy who has sucked his entire career just sucks?

Answer: Sam Darnold could have a 2023 Baker Mayfield-esque season and that’ll be cool and all but is Darnold a good football player? Let’s watch 17 games and see. I ain’t convinced.

16. Can Stefon Diggs handle being WR3?

Stefon Diggs is the last of a dying breed.

I miss the good ol’ days when star receivers were straight-up assholes. The midday Sportscenter cutting to Terrell Owens doing situps in his driveway was truly iconic. Wait real quick, remember the days when Sportcenter or ESPN News played in the background all day? We didn’t know how good we had it.

Stefon Diggs could get 90 targets in a single game and still scream in Josh Allen’s face for not throwing that 91st ball his direction. And now he’s joining an established hierarchy in Houston where Nico Collins is the WR1 and Tank Dell is clearly a personal CJ Stroud favorite.

Answer: Here’s Tank Dell talking about the loaded receiver room:

CJ Stroud may be one of the only QBs in the league capable of equally distributing the ball to all his guys. Kurt Warner-esque.

The Okay Cool, Now Do That Shit Again Tier

tua tagovailoa

17. Is Brock Purdy Elite?

Like Joe Flacco before him, Brock Purdy has become the most polarizing QB because he made a Super Bowl run despite most of us not believing he is great. We will never rid ourselves of unnecessary Brock Purdy discourse until he throws for 500 yards with 6 touchdowns like, 7 weeks in a row.

Answer: No but who cares? I watched Eli Manning win 2 Super Bowls without ever being a Top 5 QB any full season he played. All you have to do is get to the playoffs and win 2-3 games. My senior year in high school, I cut 8th period every day. But I’d show up when there was a test and crush it. Results > process.

18. Can Baker Mayfield bring the Bucs back to the playoffs?

Baker Mayfield being drafted no. 1 overall was the worst thing to ever happen to his career. Sure, he helped the Browns win their first playoff game in over 20 years but Cleveland put together stacked rosters around their regular-ass QB. Nick Chubb no longer has knee ligaments carrying Baker all those years.

Answer: The NFC South is the local bar you visit when you need a slumpbuster. The drinks suck. The lights are both blinding and dim. The owner is the only bartender and also the drug dealer. Every girl looks like they just experienced the worst week of their life as they drink their short-term memories away.

All Baker Mayfield needs to do is smile at one of these weird girls and there’s a 90% chance he gets a handy in his backseat. All Tampa Bay has to do is show up to the games on Sunday and they’ll be fine.

19. Is Evan Engram quietly the best tight end in the NFL?

For 5 years, I watched Evan Engram drop passes and limp back to the huddle in a Giants uni and then suddenly, he arrives in Jacksonville for the best season of his life. His 114 receptions for 963 yards were career-highs last year.

Answer: Honestly, maybe(?)

Travis Kelce is old, forcing himself to coast through the regular season, attempting to preserve himself for the playoffs. George Kittle is far more of a threat in the blocking game than he is on a stacked 49ers offense that doesn’t really need him to be more than a blocker.

Evan Engram caught 114 fucking passes, yo. Thanks to Trevor Lawrence, Evan Engram mayyyy be the best tight end on the planet. Ew.

20.  Why do we all assume Tua Tagovailoa will be healthy again?

For the first time in his football career, Tua Tagovailoa played every single game of the season. It’s no coincidence Tua also had the best statistical season of his career, including leading the entire NFL with 4,624—and it wasn’t like, cheap Kirk Cousins yards where your team is always behind so you’re constantly forced to throw the ball.

Nah, Tua was getting a ton of yards in the first halves. Tagovailoa is a Top 5 QB on any given Sunday.

Answer: NFL discussions are difficult considering this is a brutal sport where players can suffer life-altering injuries at any point. Alex Smith’s leg exploded into a bajillion pieces a couple years ago. Damar Hamlin died on the field for a second. Those games just kept going like nothing happened.

So we tend to casually say “if they stay healthy” as little caveats for players but Tua, specifically, seems to have removed the “if they stay healthy” disclaimer after one being healthy once. Ever. Remember that game where he got his brain rattled so hard, his dead body was on the turf throwing up gang signs? Tua is one hit away from never playing again. Miami might be in trouble.

Rookie Quarterbacks Tier

21. Can Jayden Daniels stay healthy?

Speaking of health, let’s talk about the skinny kid who loves scrambling.

Answer: Probably not.

Anthony Richardson was the last running rookie QB and he couldn’t make it past the first week in October. Jayden has to get his ass beat. A safety running full speed into his chest will teach him to slide. But Jayden is 23. When I was 23, I needed to fail (a million times) before I was like “Hey, maybe I should stop doing stupid shit”. And I’m STILL doing stupid shit.

Please don’t turn out like Robert Griffin III. And I mean both the career-altering injuries and the strange social media presence. Keep Jayden Daniels from huge cartoonish-sized croissants.

22. Is Caleb Williams the Prince Who Was Promised?

Answer: Yes.

 

23. Can Drake Maye get on the field?

Drake Maye is better than Jacoby Brissett.

Exhibit A:

Answer: If there’s any rookie from this class who should sit for a season and learn from the bench, it’s 22-year-old Drake Maye—drafted to an organization in disarray. Bill Belichick ran that machine for 23 years.

Jerrod Mayo is a first-time head coach, the roster is void of talent and I’m not totally sure they’ve even hired a new GM yet. Let Jacoby Brissett get jumped every week.

24. Can Spencer Rattler free us from Derek Carr?

Uh, scroll up for my feelings on Derek Carr.

Spencer Rattler is like, the polar opposite. He has electric arm talent. He’s capable of turning a potential failed play into a game-breaking, explosive play downfield. He’s also a huge asshole, unlike Derek Carr who is a friendly-ass dork.

Derek Carr is throwing that ball away and jogging back to the huddle while the rest of the offense does everything in their power to not strangle him.

Answer: Unfortunately, Saints head coach, Dennis Allen, is a gigantic loser. He and Derek Carr belong together. Spencer Rattler will have fewer pass attempts than Tayson Hill.

Coach’s Corner

25. Can Jim Harbaugh save Justin Herbert?

Outside of Joe Burrow, Justin Herbert may be the only QB in the AFC capable of beating Patrick Mahomes but we’ll never know it because he’s spent his career playing for coaches who had no business being coaches.

Jim Harbaugh took the lemon of Alex Smith and made lemonade. Colin Kaepernick looked like Johnny Unitas out there under Harbaugh. JJ McCarthy was a Top 10 draft pick solely because he played for Harbaugh at Michigan.

Answer: Yea. Sure. Justin Herbert’s biggest problem is playing for a Chargers team no one gives a shit about. With Harbaugh as the coach, the team automatically gains relevance and becomes a weekly talking point, regardless of the results. All Herbert really needs is more national exposure. He’s thrown for over 4,000 in 3 of his first 4 seasons, only falling short last year due to injury. He got MVP votes in 2022.

He has the physical attributes to be one of the greatest ever. Jim Harbaugh can provide the support system he needs to actually win meaningful games and build a legacy for himself.

26. Can Mike Tomlin and Russell Wilson co-exist?

Mike Tomlin seems like a guy who always keeps it real and Russell Wilson seems like a guy with multiple personalities but lacks the self-awareness to understand which personality is appropriate for the situations he’s in.

Russ and Nathanial Hackett were awkward.

Then Sean Payton came in, wanting nothing to do with Russ.

This could be his third consecutive strange head-coach relationship.

Answer: No. Letting Russ Cook is about to get the longest-tenured head coach fired.

Russ will throw for 113 yards with a touchdown and 2 interceptions every week while posting TikToks of himself smiling ear-to-ear, waving terrible towels, just pretending he isn’t straight trash. Mike Tomlin may catch an assault charge if Russ comes at him with that faux-spiritual positivity bullshit.

Russell Wilson is my favorite sociopath.

I wish I lived in the reality he does where I am the most important and inspirational and likable human on the planet.

27. How long until Nick Siriani is fired?

An ESPN report detailed how much Jalen Hurts and Nick Sirianni hate each other and we’re all just pretending this season will be fine. Nick Siriani has overstayed his welcome as he appears to come to work exclusively with vibes and no actual gameplan or real x’s and o’s to execute.

Answer: 0% chance Nick Siriani is the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles in 2025. Instead of firing Siriani last season after losing 6 of their final games, only stealing one win over Tommy DeVito, the Eagles brought him back and hired Kellen Moore as the offensive coordinator. Kellen Moore will not only serve as a buffer between Siriani and Hurts but a potential replacement for Sirianni so now it’s Game of Thrones every day at the facility. Always good to have the coaches conspiring against each other. It worked so well for the 6 win Giants that had defensive coordinator, Wink Martindale, plotting a coup.

The Free Thinker Tier

harrison butker

28. Is Aaron Rodgers washed?

Rodgers turns 41 this year and just spent a year in a walking boot. Oh, and he plays on the most poorly constructed turf in the NFL, the same turf responsible for the aforementioned walking boot. NFL players are not supposed to have careers this long. Tom Brady trick y’all.

Answer: Yes, but it doesn’t matter.

3 years ago, Aaron Rodgers was the MVP. 2 years ago, Aaron Rodgers was average. 1 year ago, Aaron Rodgers tore his achilles and spent the season challenging Dr. Fauci to trial by combat. And any of those 3 versions of Rodgers is better than any Jets QB season ever.

Rodgers could limp around the field like Mad Max all season and he’ll be astronomically better than Zach Wilson.

29. Will Harrison Butker give more commencement speeches?

The voice of our generation. Where would we be as a society without the courage of Harrison Butker, the Chiefs kicker, spending all of his free time

Answer: Liberty University still exists so yea, probably.

Honestly, Harrison Butker being a dork isn’t that big of a deal as long as the Chiefs are winning. The second the dynasty ends and Harrison Butker no longer gets the run-off attention from Mahomes and Kelce, we will see this man transform into a maniac, pretending as if he is being ‘silenced’ when in reality, the only reason he is allowed in some of these rooms is because he brings his Super Bowl rings for fans to take photos with.

30. How does Nick Bosa look in an election year?

Look, it’s not looking great for Trump right now as he travels the country giving Silence of the Lambs book reports. I KNOW my guy Nick Bosa is locked. in. This season, Bosa will see Kamala Harris’s laughing face inside of every offensive lineman’s facemask. This may be the most motivated Bosa we’ve ever seen.

Answer: Nick Bosa is about to set the single-season sack record. If Kamala wins? No mortal man will ever break his record.

The Hey Man, Uhhh, You Good, Bro? Tier

31. Is Rashee Rice going to prison? I have no idea how this man isn’t in solitary confinement right now. Rashee Rice was charged with EIGHT felonies. Then followed up a hit and run by beating up a night club photographer.

Crushing someone with a car, abandoning on foot, and fighting in the club a few weeks later is the ideal way to celebrate winning a championship.

Answer: Rashee Rice seemingly has some incredible legal counsel as he spent his vacation Grand Theft Auto-ing around the country, doing his best Ezra Miller impression and he’s just playing wide receiver Week 1 as if he didn’t have to pull out his hose and wash people’s blood off his tires.

32. Is Austin Ekeler’s sister-in-law okay?

Uh, did anyone else see that Netflix doc about the TikTok cult? Austin Ekeler’s sister-in-law is just quietly in a cult and I feel like we aren’t talking about that enough. If my wife’s sister were brainwashed, it would be the only thing she talked about. I guess that explains all those awful drops.

Answer: Uh, thoughts and prayers, yo.

33. Should Damar Hamlin retire?

As long as I live, I will never forget the Buffalo Bills running a fake punt with Damar Hamlin on 4th and 5 with 12 minutes left in the 4th quarter of a playoff game against the Kansas City Chiefs.

That Remember The Titans-ass, Disney movie Hollywood bullshit got stuffed and the Bills lost to the Chiefs. Again.

Damar is STILL on the team by the way. More players should try dying and resurrecting on the field. It’s instant job security for life.

Answer: No. He’s going to need this health insurance.

34. Is Ricky Pearsall okay?

I actually had to take Brandon Aiyuk off this Top 50 list as soon as I saw Ricky Pearsall was shot over the weekend. Like, I couldn’t not mention it. The San Francisco 49ers drafted a wide receiver in the first round and he was shot a week before the season started.

Answer: Apparently, Ricky Pearsall is already back at practice. Not only did he get shot but he managed to take the gun off the robber and Pearsall got a shot off himself. G shit. Sorry to whoever has Deebo Samuel or Brandon Aiyuk on their fantasy teams. Ricky Pearsall is a future Hall of Famer, I fear.

The Return of the Mack Tier

34. Is Cooper Kupp back?

We may look back at Kupp as the best wide receiver of his era or maybe not. Tyreek Hill is creating an army of children who will say he’s the GOAT. Genius move honestly. I’m about to have 20 kids, give them all laptops and make them refresh Deadseriousness articles all day long.

Answer: I don’t see how defenses stop both Puka Nacua and a fully healthy Cooper Kupp—the same Cooper Kupp who, in 2021, led the NFL with 145 receptions for 1,947 yards in one of the greatest receiver seasons ever.

35. Is Anthony Richardson an NFL quarterback?

Answer: If Anthony Richardson plays 17 games, the Colts are a playoff team. I truly believe he is a singular force capable of carrying a team by just being a grizzly bear with pads and a jersey. He’ll fumble a ton. Throw some nasty looking picks. But he’d lead a 4th quarter drive to make the whole locker room forget how bad he was the first 3 quarters.

36. Is Joe Burrow Going To Be a What If?

Every Burrow conversation starts and ends with “if he stays healthy”. Don’t let his new blonde hair distract from the fact that he is currently dealing with a wrist injury. No need for hypotheticals. He’s literally injured right now. Can’t wait to see healthy Joe Burrow in 2025.

Answer: Unfortunately, I think Joe Burrow may be the best that never was. You can’t suffer career-altering injuries every 5 months and expect to play in the NFL for 10+ seasons. This may be the final year we get to see Burrow before this Bart Simpon-faced, handicap-stickered Ja’Marr Chase merchant hangs it up.

37. Is Kyler Murray too small?

I genuinely believe a healthy Kyler Murray could be a Top 5 QB in this league. Especially with the addition of Marvin Harrison’s well-behaved son. He was the offensive Rookie of the Year and made the All-Star team the next two seasons but he hasn’t played a full season since the Pandemic.

Answer: Unfortunately. It feels like every time Kyler gets hit, he limps to the sideline. At 5-foot-10, 200 pounds, hitting Kyler is like running through those big banners that high school players run through at the homecoming game. I’m bigger than Kyler Murray. If Josh-Hines Allen tackled me, I’d fill my retirement paperwork before the 4th quarter ended. Hopefully Kyler can avoid getting crushed and have his own 2023 Tua Tagovailoa season.

The Running Around Doing Shit tier

38. Will Levis sucks, right?

I have no idea what the Tennesee Titans plan is. They fired Mike Vrabel and had no backup plans at the quarterback position other than their 2nd round draft pick who looked fine last season, I guess.

Answer: Not everyone is going to become Peyton Manning. The NFL is at its best when more QBs are total wild cards.

Tennesee might have the next Carson Wentz. LETS GOOOOOOOOO.

39. Are we going to hate Sauce Gardner soon?

Sauce Gardner sure loves being online and tweeting weird shit about Donald Trump. He’s in the perfect environment for that lame nonsense. His boss worked for the Trump Administration. His QB spends his free time listening to Tim Pool. This sauce is being boiled in a cauldron made of buffoons.

Answer: No, I already do. He’s the next Jamal Adams and that may be the meanest thing I’ve ever said about a play.

40. Can Bryce Young do this shit?

Bryce Young was objectively the worst quarterback of the 2023 NFL season. Carolina threw a newborn baby into the Atlantic Ocean and was shocked he couldn’t swim away from sharks.

Answer: No. Bryce Young doesn’t have the support system necessary for him to thrive. The Carolina Panthers are run by a man who walks by a group of people laughing and assumes they’re all laughing at him.

41. Can Jalen Hurts overcome being an Eagle?

For years, Eagles GM Howie Roseman was treated like a god among men for being bold enough to draft D-Linemen from Georgia, a team that consistently had the best defense in the country year after year. They made a Super Bowl. *golf clap* But man, this franchise looks like the Kevin Durant-led Brooklyn Nets teams where everyone was doing their own thing just vibing out. I wouldn’t be shocked if every player on the roster just sits quietly with airpods in on team travel. Not even a hint of laughter on the plane. 53 individuals jogging on the field for a team sport.

Answer: If Hurts played on literally any other team, I’d be more generous but I will never forget DeSean Jackson returning that punt against the Giants. Fuck the Eagles. Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley will dogwalk teams on the ground but ask Jalen to throw the ball. I dare you. Let’s see what happens.

Potential MVP Tier

trevor lawrence

42. Can Lamar Jackson just be Lamar Jackson in the playoffs

All Lamar Jackson does is win football games. He’s 58-19 when he starts. Lamar has the 5th highest winning percentage in NFL history. And as soon as the regular season ends and the postseason begins, Lamar becomes a shell of himself, playing visibly out of character. One of the most confident QBs in the league just becomes a fraidy cat when the lights are brightest.

Answer: Of course. Sure, Lamar played strange as hell against the Chiefs last season but I think he was attempting to prove he can out-quarterback Mahomes. He could not.

But it’s interesting how many people pretend like he didn’t beat the dogshit out of everyone’s beloved Houston Texans the week prior. Lamar ran for 100 yards and scored 4 total touchdowns. That happened. Lamar can win playoff games. Patrick Mahomes is in the Super Bowl every year. NO ONE has outplayed him yet. I have no idea why Lamar is specially penalized for it while it’s everyone’s fault but Josh Allen’s. I wonder what’s the difference between Lamar and Josh? A difference that has separated America since 1776. Eh, who knows?

43. Is Trevor Lawrence ready to be a star?

Trevor Lawrence looks like all the random girls in their 20s going viral for like, saying curse words. However, all of those girls are more famous than he is. Please have me on a guest for Talk Tuah, Hailey. I, too, like ‘conversations’.

Answer: Yes. This is the year Trevor Lawrence fulfills his destiny and reaches his potential. Oh, and people will care. Stephen A. Smith will have an annoying clip where he pretends like he’s the only human on the planet who has ever said anything positive about Lawrence. He makes the most money at ESPN. Fucking absurd.

44. Are Khalil Mack’s best days behind him?

Khalil Mack is my favorite NFL player so I am not only forcing him into this article but I’m putting him under the MVP tier. And he deserves to be here. This maniac had 17 sacks last season. At age 32, he had the best season of his career.

Answer: Fuck no. Coach Harbaugh is coming to save this defense. The Chargers will have a Top 10 D, led by Khalil breaking quarterbacks over his knee like Bane did Batman.

45. Can Justin Jefferson still be the best receiver in the league with Sam Darnold?

This honestly could have been the same question with JJ McCarthy but at least he’s still a mystery box of possibilities. McCarthy is the Kirk Cousins archetype and Cousins got Jefferson PAID.

Answer: Eh, some weeks I reckon

46. Is Jordan Love really Him?

I’ve already made my Love declarations:

Answer: Historically, this is just what the Green Bay Packers do. Acquire a superstar. Draft a new one to sit behind the star to absorb all of their talent (and assholeness). Repeat. Jordan Love will win some MVPs and when he’s in the twilight of his career, he’ll steal welfare money from a poor community and say that the color blue was invented by Bill Gates to control us or whatever the fuck.

47. Is Josh Allen finally going to win a trophy?

Consensus seems to believe Josh Allen is the second-best quarterback in the NFL but so far, he’s only been awarded a second-team All-Pro for the weird Covid season.

Answer: No. I just saw Damar Hamlin is the Bills starting safety this season. Buffalo is punting the 2024 season. Now, if the Bills can overcome their salary-capped roster then Josh Allen will certainly get MVP votes but I don’t see that happening. We’ve seen what Josh Allen looks like when he has to play hero ball.

Whenever I close my eyelids, I see this Bills Texans playoff game when Josh Allen chucks a deep jump ball to his 5-foot-10 fullback in double coverage. Allen is about to embark on a hilariously awful season. Cannot wait.

The 3-Peat Tier

super bowl lviii

48. Are we about to witness an even better Patrick Mahomes?

I don’t even want to list off the new Chiefs receivers. All I need to say is Kadarius Toney is gone. Erase all of his drops and Mahomes leads the league in every category.

Answer: No.

The Pat Mahomes we’ve seen from day one has been the best version of Pat Mahomes. He’s consistently been the best since his first start. I truly believe he came in as a fully formed master and has no room to improve. Mahomes could win an MVP any season.

49. Is Travis Kelce getting married?

Travis has it all, man. He is arguably the greatest tight end in NFL history. He’s won championships. He’s dating one of the biggest music stars ever. He and his brother just got away with a $100 million Amazon heist.

Answer: I reallyyyy wish I cared as much about Taylor Swift as y’all do. Her fans seem so happy to purchase the same album over and over again. Her haters seem so happy to pretend as if she is the antichrist walking among us. To me, she’s that girl I hear on the radio whenever I go to the ice cream parlor down the road. Good for them. Or I’m sorry that happened. Whatever.

50. Is Andy Reid the GOAT?

Andy Reid leads the Chiefs to a 3-peat and Bill Belichicks photo slowly fades into obscurity. I actually think that’s why Bill Belichick, the man who didn’t speak for 30 years, is suddenly swandiving headfirst into media gigs. I will never listen to his podcast with Maxx fucking Crosby but I will, however, watch the Chiefs win another ring and erase the New England Patriotrs from our memories. Tom Brady? The Tampa Buccaneers QB??

Answer: Yea.

 

 

 

 

 

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What are you’re biggest questions for the 2024 NFL Season.  Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. 

 

Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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