thelesterlee
Now that we’re a couple weeks into the 2023 NFL season, we have narratives forming and some teams distinguishing themselves from the pack (for better or worse). So let’s pick which specific games we absolutely need to keep an eye on for NFL Week 3:
1. New York Giants (1-1) @ San Francisco 49ers (2-0)
You could look at last week’s Giants game in two ways:
Either 1.) Coming back from a 21-point deficit in the second half against the Cardinals woke this Giants team up and they are about to go on a run.
OR
2.) Why the fuck were they down 21 points to an Arizona Cardinals team with about 3-4 NFL caliber players on their roster as they march towards the top of next year’s draft to pick any top quarterback without an Xbox Live subscription?
As a Giants fan, I will blindly declare it was the former.
Unfortunately for the Giants, James Conner just ran for 100 yards against them and Christian McCaffrey is about to have a game they’ll play clips from on ESPN the day he announces his retirement.
Another lovely stat to hear as a Giants fan: 118 players have recorded at least 1 sack this season. None of the players work for the Giants.
Brock Purdy is going to be back there in the pocket burping the ball like a newborn baby as he comfortably sits back there yawning while the Giants pass rush gets winded after one second of effort and takes the rest of the play off.
2. Denver Broncos (0-2) @ Miami Dolphins (2-0)
The Miami Dolphins are the best offense in the NFL.
Mike McDaniel took the baton from Kyle Shanahan and Sean McVay as the best offensive mind.
I keep waiting for Tyreek Hill to fall off and he keeps, well, not falling off.
Tua Tagovailoa is the best quarterback in the NFL when his brain isn’t leaking out of his ears.
And all that is cute or whatever but this is a must-watch game from the Broncos side. We’re two weeks into the season and Sean Payton has already thrown Russell Wilson under the bus.
DRAMA: #Broncos head coach Sean Payton appears to be BLAMING QB Russell Wilson for Denver’s early struggles and 0-2 start to their season😳
“There were a number of drives where we were late with personnel, getting out of the huddle we took a while. That has to change”
“We had… pic.twitter.com/Xf7KYDf1RQ
— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) September 20, 2023
This is a ticking time bomb and instead of trying to diffuse the bomb, Sean Payton is actively trying to detonate it. If you’re wondering why Sean Payton took the Broncos job even though he clearly does not like anything about Russell Wilson just keep checking the final score of Denver games this week.
Sean Payton is a mad man who is about to bully Russell Wilson into handing him Caleb Williams.
Bill Belichick is out here scaring the hoes. Nah, Sean Payton is the GOAT.
Chicago Bears (0-2) @ Kansas City Chiefs (1-1)
I knew the Bears would stink this season. Never trust a bad team that trades down in the first round for a player they don’t need. Cool, you have DJ Moore now. And no one to throw him the ball. Justin Fields looks like his wifi is slow and he’s always buffering.
But it’s not Justin’s fault. This week, he told reporters it’s actually his coach’s fault for giving him too much information that was getting in Fields’s head all game. Not a greaaaaaat look to have your star franchise QB say “My brain hurts when I learn.”
Oh, and they’re defensive coordinator had his home raided and quickly resigned from his job this week to ‘focus on health and family’.
So basically, the Bears are going up against the Kansas City Chiefs without a quarterback or a defensive coordinator.
This is about to be the funniest football game of all time.
Philadelphia Eagles (2-0) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-0)
I am disgusted to call any Eagles game ‘must-watch’ but we might be witnessing an NFC Championship preview. Somehow, the Buccaneers are 2-0 and look like one of the most well-balanced teams in the NFL.
The year started with clips of Kyle Trask and Baker Mayfield having the ultimate mid-off in training camp for the starting QB position and all of a sudden, Baker looks like he knows how to play football.
Shout out to new Bucs offensive coordinator, Dave Canales, for being the first coach to get through to Baker and finally make him realize “you are not Him. Just stay in the pocket and throw the ball where I fucking tell you to throw the ball”.
Canales was in Seattle last year when Geno Smith won Comeback Player of the Year and he’s about to get Baker that trophy this year. He’s like the new Bruce Arians but without the lead poisoning.
Los Angeles Rams (1-1) @ Cincinnati Bengals (0-2)
We have a Super Bowl rematch from two teams who look like they will never be back there ever again.
Well, the Rams sucked last season and every talented player on the team collectively said they were contemplating retirement. Matthew Stafford’s arm was obsolete last season and now he’s turning Puka Nacua into the next Cris Carter.
Meanwhile, Joe Burrow injured his calf and tricked Cincinnati into giving him a massive new contract before he healed. so now he’s out there cooking with dog shit.
The NFL media guys who like to ‘zag’ were saying Burrow is the best QB in the league and how much he reminds them of Tom Brady and again, he’s injured, but Burrow ranks 27th in passer rating below Justin Fields who gets a headache when his coaches coach him…Yike.
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