19 Biggest Eastern Conference Storylines Heading into the 2022-23 NBA Season

The NBA is a league with the greatest athletes in the world competing at the highest level achieving remarkable jaw-dropping feats on a nightly basis. It’s also a sport full of drama and catty behavior and players punching their teammates in the face a week before the season.

Here are the 19 biggest Eastern Conference storylines heading into the 2022-23 NBA season:

1. Geriatric Heat

The Miami Heat backcourt consists of a 33-year-old with bad knees and fake dreads and a 36-year-old who proudly reps #TeamThick. Miami relies on these two to carry them in the postseason and they may be out of gas by the end of the year.

Sure, Miami has Bam Adebayo—a potential Defensive Player of the Year and Tyler Herro—the reigning Sixth Man of the Year but this team looks afraid to truly hand the keys to them. Perhaps it’s their lack of consistency or perhaps they lack consistency because they aren’t given the freedom to shoot. Chicken or the egg shit.

2. Ime Udoka is too horny to coach

It’s difficult to gauge how much coaching actually impacts the game. In the NFL, it’s obvious as hell but in the NBA, the team with the more talented players tends to win more games regardless of the little plays the coach plays on the sideline.

But there’s no coincidence that Boston finally made the Finals when Ime took over for Brad Stevens. Udoka provided a toughness to this team that we saw get totally exposed in the Finals when Draymond Green took their lunch money.

I don’t know anything about Joe Mazzulla but he is not Ime Udoka. Which may be a great thing for Mazzulla’s family and the female staff of the Celtics.

3. The Healthy Bucks are the best team in the East

Last season, the Milwaukee Bucks were 37-10 when Giannis, Khris Middleton and Jrue Holiday played together. They were +12.6 points per 100 possessions. Just objectively the best team in the NBA but these 3 need to be on the court together more than 47 times this year.

The East is wide open this year. Unless of course Milwaukee stays healthy in which case the East is doomed and Giannis is walking to another championship.

4. -100lb James Harden

At one point, James Harden was the best player in the NBA. Then he suffered a hamstring injury trying to carry the Brooklyn Nets while Kyrie and Durant were bouncing in and out of the lineup. Then the NBA changed the way referees legislate shooting fouls and the end result was Harden having his lowest point per game total since 2012.

Harden doesn’t need to lead the league in usage rate anymore. All he has to do is run the pick-and-roll with the best big man in the league and take defenders off the dribble when plays break down and the clock starts to wind. Sixers in 4.

5. Scottie Barnes propaganda

If you follow the NBA nerds of the world, they will speak lovingly of Scottie Barnes as if he is the next Kawhi Leonard while ignoring the fact that there is literally only ONE Kawhi and no player in NBA history has achieved his level of progression. Truly unprecedented growth. If anything, Scottie Barnes will be as good as like, Jimmy Butler. Which is still a perennial All-Star but is he really going to transform into a Finals MVP??

6. Bulls window is open…anddddddddddd it’s closed

Last season, the Chicago Bulls looked like a real title contender. We needed them to step up. The Eastern Conference has become so stagnant with Milwaukee, Boston, Miami and Philly being at the top of the standings year after year. The Bulls were finally back.

Zach LaVine will be missing the beginning of the season with an injury. Lonzo Ball’s knee has turned into Pink Sauce. Andre Drummond is on this roster just ready to do some dumb nonsense like chuck up a 3 with 22 seconds left on the shot clock to impress an IG model sitting courtside.

7. Ben Simmons sticking out like a sore thumb or fitting like a glove

On paper, Brooklyn is the ideal landing spot for Ben Simmons. He is the best on-ball defender in the league on a roster full of guys who have no desire to play any defense. He also refuses to shoot which is perfect for a team with Durant and Kyrie who refuse to pass.

The problem is, Ben Simmons just had a very enlightening podcast appearance with JJ Redick in which he revealed a glaring hole in his game: ZERO self-awareness. Ben Simmons seems to believe he is a flawless basketball player who is getting picked on for no reason. Not a guy I would characterize as ‘doing well mentally’ and maybe that guy shouldn’t be on a team with Durant and Kyrie that will be in the national news at least twice this season because of some bullshit.

Whether it’s Kyrie dropping a mixtape with Kanye about their hate of Jews or Durant threatening to beat up someone’s wife on Twitter, Ben Simmons is going to be in the middle of even more drama and uh, he doesn’t handle drama well.

8. Is Dejounte Murray okay?

Dejounte Murray spent his career lost in San Antonio under the thumb of Gregg Popovich. The second he was traded to Atlanta, Murray went nuts. He spent the summer fighting gym teachers and construction workers at local basketball courts. He almost fought Magic rookie, Paolo Banchero for no reason at all.

Perhaps that is the edge this Hawks team needs. They’re led by a 4-foot-10 boy who needs big defenders around him. Dejounte could be the Draymond to Trae’s Steph. He can lead fastbreaks and make smart decisions in transitions as well as defend the other team’s best perimeter scorer. He can also brick wide open 3’s like Draymond as well.

9. Donovan and Darius vs. Everyone

Cleveland had the 20th-ranked offense last season and they just dropped 24 point per game scorer, Donovan Mitchell, into the middle of the team. Darius Garland is the best scorer Donovan has ever played with and I’m not 1000% sure what Mitchell will look like off the ball.

The good news is, Donovan still doesn’t have to play any perimeter defense because he’s being anchored by Jarrett Allen and Evan Mobley. All he has to do is score his 25 points and go home because I’m assuming he won’t be going out and exploring the Cleveland nightlife.

10. Is LaMelo Kemba or Ja?

Kemba Walker averaged 20 points a game and led Charlotte to the playoffs twice in his career with the Bobcats/Hornets. And at no point did anyone ever believe Charlotte could make it past the first round and Kemba’s entire career was an afterthought.

On the other hand, Ja Morant almost led the Grizzlies to a massive upset over the Warriors. LaMelo Ball could easily be an All-Star every year but the real leap would be carrying a team on his back and winning meaningful games.

11. All-Star RJ

The entire Knicks season is on the shoulders of 22-year-old RJ Barrett. Two seasons ago, RJ averaged 40% from 3. If the addition of Jalen Brunson—an actual real-life point guard—can help put RJ in better situations to succeed instead of having to quickly rush with 6 seconds left on the shot clock after Julius Randle is done isoing into a triple team, then RJ is going to make his first of many All-Star teams.

12. Bradley Beal likes Washington

I have yet to write a full article about this but one of the most frustrating situations in the entire NBA is Bradley Beal in Washington. EVERYONE and their mothers keep throwing Beal in trade packages and writing about how much he must hate this front office despite Beal NEVER saying anything of the sort. If anything, he’s only said the opposite.

I hate to break it to some of you but there are guys out there who genuinely enjoy making the most amount of cash possible and being the biggest fish in a small pond. Bradley Beal busted his ass to become a borderline All-NBA player. Do you know why he did that? It wasn’t to be thrown under the bus by LeBron James in the conference finals. It was to be rich as fuck and to be able to walk into any room in his city and be treated like a king.

13. Where does Buddy play?

The Lakers have very publicly flirted with a potentially Russ Westbrook for Buddy Hield and Myles Turner trade. A trade that makes no sense for the Pacers because the Lakers don’t have enough first-round draft picks to give away one of the best 3-point shooters and one of the best shot blockers for Westbrook’s nightly airballs.

I don’t think Hield and/or Turner will end up on the Lakers because they would’ve been by now but I also don’t believe they will finish this season on a Pacers squad that is 1000% tanking.

14. Play-in Detroit

I genuinely believe Cade Cunningham has the potential to be a perennial MVP candidate and this is the season we see him step into his Ja/Luka god mode. Detroit has surrounded Cunningham with a surprisingly balanced roster of guys like Bojan Bogdanovic, Alec Burks, Marvin Bagley and Rookie of the Year contender, Jaden Ivey.

15. Paolo Banchero ROY

Speaking of Rookie of the Year, Paolo Banchero has to be the favorite going into this season. Jabari Smith is on a Rockets team full of teenagers who all want the ball in their hands and will no-call no-show games if they don’t get their way and Chet Holmgren’s leg exploded trying to stop LeBron fucking James on a fastbreak in a middle school gym.

Banchero also steps right into one of the more interesting frontcourts in the league alongside Franz Wagner and Wendell Carter Jr. Orlando doesn’t have enough talent outside of those 3 so I can see them sitting right at the bottom of the Eastern Conference again.

16. The end of the Durant-Kyrie era

Kevin Durant tried to burn the Brooklyn Nets to the ground this summer because the team didn’t give a contract extension to Kyrie. It’s safe to say, Brooklyn has no plans on re-signing Kyrie after the season considering he’s provided absolutely nothing for the franchise besides annoying meetings with city council about vaccine mandates.

I would imagine Durant will be right out the door with him. I mean like, he did demand the head coach and the GM get fired and now he has to go to work with them everyday like he didn’t do that. #BlameKD.

17. Knicks trade machine

The Knicks played chicken with the Utah Jazz and decided not to pull the trigger on a Donovan Mitchell trade. This roster is full of tradable guys from literally top to bottom. Every player on this team could be moved by the deadline.

Donovan Mitchell is cool or whatever but this is the NBA. Star players randomly demand trades on a daily basis. The Knicks could end this season with Damian Lillard or Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and it wouldn’t surprise me at all. As long as Evan Fournier is in the deal.

18. MVP Embiid

The MVP Award is an entirely narrative-driven trophy given to players based solely on how easily they can explain their votes in their 5-minute ESPN TV hits. For the last two seasons, Nikola Jokic was the easy MVP winner and Joel was the runner-up.

But this could be the year the Sixers finally take the no. 1 seed. Last year, Embiid shot 37% from 3 and got to the free-throw line 12 times. He led the league in clutch points (158) which sounds super fake but apparently is points scored in the final five minutes of a game with the score within 5 points. Blah blah Joel Embiid is the MVP.

19. Handling the Celtics

The Boston Celtics could’ve won the championship last year. If onlyyyyyyy these guys knew how to dribble or pass. The basics of the sport you are taught day one and the Celtics took turns dribbling off their feet and throwing passes directly into the chests of the Warriors.

I don’t know what this team will look like without Ime Udoka but if I’m Joe Mazzulla, I am spending every practice just doing dribbling drills. Also, if I’m Joe Mazzulla, I’m going home to my family and not making contact with any woman who works for the Celtics.