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15 Winners and Losers of the 2024 NFL Divisional Round

After a great weekend of football, let’s see who came out on top. And more importantly, let’s see who the losers were.

2024 nfl divisional round

We’ve made it to the Conference Championships. The 2024 NFL Divisional Round was easily the best football played all season. Although there were no real upsets or anything super shocking, we still have winners and we certainly have some losers.

Let’s start with the winners of the 2024 NFL Divisional Round:

 

1. Brock Purdy

This weekend, the rumor about the 49ers wanting to sign Tom Brady came back to life. It’s a rumor I’ve heard pretty much every season since Brady left New England but it wasn’t a good sign for Brock Purdy’s future that this story came back around right before a playoff game.

But Purdy led a game-winning drive to stave off the red-hot Green Bay Packers and it’s safe to say, Purdy has earned at least one more season as the San Francisco 49ers starting quarterback.

2. Dre Greenlaw


8 tackles (1 tackle for a loss), 3 passes deflected and this game-winning interception where Greenlaw jumped from out of the frame to snatch this pass out of the sky. These are the types of game-changing plays only the best players in the NFL are capable of making.

3. Jerrod Carmichael

Somehow, Jerrod Carmichael and Taylor Swift became besties without me noticing(?) He’s replaced Blake Lively and Selina Gomez as her go-to gameday pal. This is a great look for a comedian I haven’t seen do or make anything funny for a couple of years but I get it. If I make it into Taylor Swift’s entourage, I’m writing one Deadseriousness article a month. Maximum.

4. Patrick Mahomes

Patrick Mahomes is about to play in his 6th career AFC Championship game. He’s 28.

This season, he had a receiving corp consisting of elderly/love-drunk Travis Kelce, Kadarius Toney who may or may not have secretly been getting paychecks from the opposing team to drop all of those passes and a bunch of NPCs.

5. Dan Campbell

Dan Campbell was mocked following his introductory press conference where he warned the league he was coming for their knees but look at him now, one game away from the Super Bowl with the Los Angeles Rams leftovers at QB and a team full of Kenny Rodgers Gamblers.

6. Texans Special Teams

It’s a shame the feel-good Houston Texans couldn’t beat the Ravens but Steven Sims going from practice squad to hitting a home run punt return in the 2024 NFL divisional round cannot be ignored. These types of plays typically sway games but unfortunately, they ran into a buzzsaw named Lamar Jackson.

Also, quick shout-out to Ka’imi Fairbairn hitting a 50-yard field goal There was a point in this game where the only points the Texans scored were from their special teams. The Houston Texans are ready to shake up the AFC next year for real.

7. Baker Mayfield

In two playoff games, Baker put up 686 yards and 6 touchdowns. Sure, you can give credit to all the talent around him but we’ve seen Baker play with Jarvis Landry, Nick Chubb and Odell Beckham. Baker didn’t look as good as he has these past few weeks.

And now there are reports Baker and Tampa are working on a long-term deal. Mayfield did it. He finally found job security.

And now onto the Losers….

1. Benny The Butcher

Taylor Swift came to Benny The Butcher’s city and left with his chain. Taylor Swift > Griselda

2. Stefon Diggs

Stefon Diggs was targeted 8 times and only finished with 3 catches. He had a few drops including two deep down the field. One went right between his hands and the other fell out on a dive. He also fumbled the ball but his team recovered it.

Last season ended with Stefon Diggs screaming at Josh Allen. This season started with Diggs refusing to come to training camp. And now the season is ending with Diggs having the worst game of his career and looking like he shouldn’t have been out there at all.

3. Anders Carlson

Another postseason for Green Bay ends with a kicker shaking a field goal. This year, it’s Anders Carlson’s time to suck. But Carlson didn’t stand a chance. His own head coach doesn’t sound like he has much faith in him

 

4. Disney

Disney was SO close to having their next direct-to-streaming feature film about Damar Hamlin dying on the field and coming back to live and then making a heroic 4th down conversion to save the Bills season with a fake punt.

It didn’t go that way.

Disney just lost millions of dollars because Damar Hamlin sucks.

5. Lamar Jackson

2023 nfl awards

Lamar Jackson did his fucking THING against Houston. 252 total yards and 4 total touchdowns. He carried the Baltimore offense on his back and proved the handful of good-faith skeptics wrong about his ability to perform in the postseason.

But unfortunately, most Lamar critics aren’t operating in good faith and no matter what he does, will continue to downplay his excellence because they’re too stubborn to change their minds about their original assessments of his NFL potential or ya know, his skin—or both.

And now he has to go against Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs who just end up in the Super Bowl every year no matter what. Lamar haters are about to be loud as hell this week.

6. Carolina Panthers

bryce young steph curry

I’ve put the Panthers as the losers on pretty much every Winners and Losers article I wrote this season but this is my last opportunity to do so and I shall take advantage of it. CJ Stroud could’ve been in their building but they elected to take a guy half his size. Baker Mayfield was in their building last year and they traded him to LA. Both of those guys were in the 2024 NFL Divisional Round while the Panthers have the worst roster and traded what would’ve been the no. 1 overall pick to the Bears.

Yike.

7. Anyone trying to block Aidan Hutchinson

There are a handful of pass rushers in this league where there is simply nothing you can do to prevent them from getting a hand on your quarterback. Aidan Hutchinson is one of those guys who spent the entire game chasing Baker Mayfield around like he owed him money.

Hutchinson had 4 tackles (1 for a loss) a sack and 3 QB hits. He has quickly become one of the premier pass rushers in the world.

8. The Bills window

stefon diggs

I love the Buffalo Bills but these championship windows don’t last forever. We’ve seen it already. Joe Burrow and the Bengals already went to a Super Bowl before them. The Ravens might be the next up. CJ Stroud, Anthony Richardson, Trevor Lawrence and Justin Herbert are coming sooner than later. Aaron Rodgers is back next year.

The Bills need to constantly be improving every offseason. Any sign of stagnancy and the AFC is going to pass them by. What if Tua learns how to play football outside? The Dolphins will be unstoppable.

 

 

 

 

 


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