This current Kansas City Chiefs dynasty is fueled by the blood of Satan.
We all already know this. I’m not breaking news with that information.
In order to stay at the top, everyone in their orbit must suffer a humiliation ritual to satisfy the devil’s needs.
This time, it was rookie wide receiver, Xavier Worthy, as the next sacrifice to the Dark Lords.
The 21-year-old Worthy was charged with assault of a family or house member and impeding the breathing or circulation, which is a third-degree felony assault charge that “is committed by intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly impeding the normal breathing or circulation of the blood of the person by applying pressure to the person’s throat or neck or by blocking the person’s nose or mouth.”
The offense was punishable with a sentence of two to 10 years of jail time and/or a fine not to exceed $10,000. However, as of Saturday afternoon, Worthy’s jail record had been updated to “dismissed/declined.”
Williamson County District Attorney Shawn Dick told the Austin American-Statesman that his office would not be taking the case barring further developments. (Source)
Last week, Xavier Worthy was arrested for beating up and strangling a woman.
One of the smallest receivers in the NFL—known for turning into Sonic The Hedgehog, outracing all defenders to the endzone whenever the ball touches his hands—came home from the Super Bowl and started choking women out.
Now, his attorneys claim the victim of this beating has been extorting Worthy, manufacturing this event to further extract money and time and effort and attention from Xavier—leading to the case being pulled from the local Texas courts.
But the damage is done.
From now on, Xavier Worthy is a woman-beater—whether he actually did it or not.
He probably did though but that’s not the point. The humiliation ritual is complete.
This is just like Rashee Rice’s 2024 offseason.
After winning the Super Bowl, Rashee Rice went on a Tasmanian Devil spree, terrorizing anyone in his line of sight, starting with a hit and run and ending with beating up a Dallas club photographer.
Whatever it takes to win football games.
Marquise “Hollywood” Brown was arrested for criminal speeding.
Kadrius Toney was arrested for strangling a woman too.
Remember that video of Kareem Hunt kicking that blonde woman in the head?
Shit, even their punter is an accused rapist.
And that’s not including the Mahomes family with the pervert brother, alcoholic father and dog-faced wife. I know the latter isn’t a crime. Patrick Mahomes having to walk around with Brittany is his humiliation ritual. (I know it’s not cool to mock people’s looks. Fuck her, though).
Expect the Kansas City Chiefs to be right back in the Super Bowl next year—even if Travis Kelce has to do a 10-year bid to get them there.
If you enjoyed what you read, head over to our Substack. We’ve got more content making fun of the ridiculous world we live in, sent directly to your email inbox daily.
Follow us over on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings