Wait, Aubrey Plaza Was Married?

I was stunned this morning to see Aubrey Plaza’s husband, Jeff Baena, had passed away over the weekend.

Jeff Baena, writer and director who was married to Aubrey Plaza, has died by suicide, @TMZ reports. He was 47. pic.twitter.com/JNyLzYe76t

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) January 4, 2025

Absolutely stunning. And not because a young man passed away so soon after the holidays or the alleged way he may have passed on to the other side—but stunning in that I had NO idea Aubrey Plaza was even married.

I always thought she just existed. She was literally at the Knicks game the other day without him. Actually, every time I see photos of her out and about, she’s alone. It had never occurred to me she had a dating life.

I recognize she’s not typically strutting down red carpets or dazzling at Met Gala events but she’s a pretty public celebrity.

Never once even considered she had a spouse.

Today is the first I’ve seen all these loving photos with her husband.

Honestly, I was like, 85% sure she was a lesbian.

Aubrey Plaza and Jeff Baena began dating in 2011 and were married in 2021. 14-year-long relationship and this is the first I’m hearing of this man.

And it’s not even like Aubrey Plaza is a brand new star. She’s been on my television since Parks and Recreation dropped in ’09. She’s been in my life longer than he was.

It would make more sense if I woke up this morning to a report saying Aubrey Plaza was seen doing witchcraft in the middle of the night, stirring a cauldron and all that.

I’d be less shocked if Aubrey Plaza gunned down the CEO of United Healthcare.

But married though??? Ok.

Jeff Baena has directed films like “Life After Beth” and “The Little Hours”, two movies I’d never heard of and only know from reading the stories about his death that keep referencing these films like they are beloved works of Stanley Kubrick.

And I’m not writing this to shit on Jeff Baena, especially under these circumstances.

I’m here to do just the opposite.

In fact, Aubrey Plaza, if you’re reading this right now, then first of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I want you to know I am sensitive, I’m a good listener and I am available if you need a shoulder to cry on. Shoot me a text, you’ll never see anyone respond faster.

RIP to Jeff Baena.

Life is really fucking hard.

Doesn’t matter if you work two shifts, barely making rent each month as the kids complain about never getting new sneakers you can’t afford or you’re married to Aubrey Plaza.

I’m like, one overdraft fee away from blowing up inside of a cybertruck outside of a Trump Tower, as well.

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