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Tua Tagovailoa Sucks Because I Said So

Tua Tagovailoa sucks

This morning, I checked the most recent MVP odds and was shocked to see Tua Tagovailoa with the second-best odds behind Patrick Mahomes. Sure, the Miami Dolphins are leading the league with 498 yards a game (with the second-best offense averaging literally 100 fewer yards) and sure, the Dolphins are 5-1 and look like one of the best teams in the league but the team’s success has nothing to do with Tua.

It’s sooooo easy to look at the stats and declare Tua great or whatever. Stats don’t tell the whole story. Kirk Cousins has exceptional stats and I wouldn’t ask him to be the quarterback of my family’s Thanksgiving Day two-hand touch game on the front lawn.

For the sake of conversation, here’s where Tua’s numbers rank in the league:

  • 1,876 passing yards (1st)
  • 14 passing touchdowns (1st)
  • 114.1 passer rating (1st)
  • 93 1st downs (1st)
  • 13.4 yards per completion (1st)
  • 71.1 completion percentage (2nd)

 

On paper, it may seem as though Tua is the best quarterback in the NFL but you have to discredit his success when you remember he has good teammates.

Tua is throwing to Tyreek Hill, the best wide receiver in the NFL. Hill leads all receivers in both yards and touchdowns. His second option, Jaylen Waddle, is good enough to be the number-one receiver on most football teams.

Their rookie running back, De’Von Achane, leads the league in rushing yards per game and set an NFL record by scoring 7 touchdowns in the first 4 games of his NFL career.

Achane and Hill are easily the fastest guys at their position which makes them the best screen pass targets in the league. Tua throws a 1-yard screen pass to Tyreek or De’Von and it’ll end up in the endzone in the blink of an eye and that’s all thanks to their ability to make defenders miss and outrun anyone chasing them.

Look, I just can’t call you a great quarterback when you have great teammates. It’s actually a bad thing to play with great players and put the ball in the hands of those great players.

Here’s known truth-teller, football film devourer and voice of reason, Stephen A. Smith, agreeing with me that Tua Tagovailoa sucks:


See, Stephen A. understands Tua is only dropping the ball off 1 or 2 yards and his receivers are doing all of the work. Just ignore the clips in the background of Stephen A. talking that show Tua throwing deep balls. It was probably from the preseason or whatever.

But we can’t talk about this Dolphins offense without giving credit to the genius behind their scheme.

Mike McDaniel is the mastermind behind all of these wide-open throws Tua is benefitting from. Tua is nothing without the man on the sidelines, in sweatpants not doing any of the throwing.

It’s not Tua, who always manages to place the ball directly into a receiver’s chest at the perfect angle that allows them to immediately take it upfield—unlike guys like Daniel Jones or Mac Jones or any of the mediocre Jones brothers 1 who are almost always late on their throws and place balls behind their receivers in a way that forces them to stop running and awkwardly snatch the ball behind them where the defender is often waiting to either pick it off or break the receiver’s neck.

Tua Tagovailoa sucks because his team and coach are good.

Every quarterback we deem as great has been successful with replacement-level talent around them and head coaches who found out about the sport of football the day before their first day at the job and they were playing on their phone, only half paying attention while they were being told about it.

Tua has the unique and unprecedented advantage of playing with good players and having a good coach and we see that manifesting itself in his league-leading stats and the Dolphins historically dominant offense which is on-pace to be the greatest offense in the history of the game.

This has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t watch many college football games and most of what I knew about Tua prior to being drafted was his lack of arm strength and how he’s too small to perform at a high level—and since I didn’t have enough of my own opinion, I just went along with that narrative until I convinced myself it was an inalienable fact and I refuse to allow his current MVP-level play to change my reality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is Tua Tagovailoa actually good?  Leave a comment below. Respond on TwitterFacebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know how much Tua Tua Tagovailoa sucks and how few Miami Dolphins games you’ve watched.


 

  1. The Jones’s are not brothers but as a Giants fan, I would loooove if Daniel Jones or Mac Jones were actually blood because ESPN would constantly be comparing them and Jones would always look better.

Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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