RFK Jr. is a crackhead trapped inside a delusion of his elevated, prestigious health and medicine expertise.
I’m not sure how many dope fiend years are required to qualify for the honorary heroin PhD program, but former Colts owner Jim Irsay put in his 10,000 hours.
Peyton Manning has the neck of a 9-time WWE Champion. Andrew Luck retired before he was 30. His insides hurt. Daniel Jones broke his leg, then tore his Achilles a week later. His backup, Anthony Richardson, may lose his vision thanks to malfunctioning workout equipment in the team facility.
Now, with their season on the line, set to give the ball to Riley Leonard—the first draft pick if you were selecting in the “Who is the last guy I’d want starting for my team with the postseason on the line?” draft—the Indianapolis Colts want that old thing back, literally.
The #Colts are planning to bring potential Hall of Fame QB Philip Rivers into their facility Tuesday to work out to see if he may join their practice squad, per me & @MikeGarafolo.
This is real. Daniel Jones’ season is over, Riley Leonard will start, but Rivers may be an option. pic.twitter.com/H3tQW2R3s7
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) December 8, 2025
44-year-old Philip Rivers—a high school football coach who retired from the NFL nearly 5 years ago—is working out for the Colts.
The team is 8-5—having just been forced to bite the pavement as the Jacksonville Jaguars brought their boots down on the back of their heads—Daniel Jones achilles melting out of his cleats—is going to bring a high school football coach to save their season. Fucking again.
In 2022, Indianapolis hired Jeff Saturday as their head coach.
He had only coached a high school team.
Briefly.
He lost a lot.
Obviously.
With the brutal injuries Colts QBs suffer from annually, Philip Rivers is going to die at midfield. We’re about to see the Jovan Belcher legacy game no one asked for.
Until I see a report detailing the removal of any Jim Irsay-implemented medical-related employee or practice, I don’t care how often the CBS broadcast shows Callie Irsay Gordon Lorette Lynn-cosplaying—these players work in the neighbor’s yard from Toy Story, Sid ripping their limbs off for shits and gigs.
RIP Philip Rivers.
Thanks for reading. Let me if you think Philip Rivers should play football this season. Or even better, reach out and send some of those takes and I’ll tap in and write about it. Hit up ya boy on social media: Facebook. Twitter. Bluesky. Instagram.
Or shoot me an email (I refresh that thing no less than a million times a day) Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com.
Next up to read: Riley Gaines, Foreign Twitter Bots and The MLM Loser Economy
