Welcome to The Pipe Bomb, where we discuss the latest news and events from the wrestling world, both inside and outside the ring. This week, let’s talk about WWE SummerSlam 2025.
Triple H hangs with a pedo
This year, WWE wanted Summerslam to feel as big as Wrestlemania, announcing the first-ever 2-night card.
This was a special Summerslam for sure.
The hype started earlier in the week, as Triple H visited the White House for a PR photo op with Donald Trump signing an executive order to create (a fake) President’s Council on Sports, Fitness, and Nutrition, and bringing the presidential fitness test back to public schools.
Very cool seeing Triple H and Donald Trump celebrating and high-fiving about a return to a meaningless gym test teenagers sleepwalk through between algebra and chemistry. Triple and Donald Trump, two men whose hearts would explode out of their chests if they attempted to run a mile right now. They are super concerned about the physical health of kids. Donald Trump who famously only eats McDonalds and Triple H whose blood is 90% human grown hormone. Two beacons of health.
But I reckon it’s important for these two men to want the youth to be physically fit. Triple H’s company makes billions of the body dysmophia of his employees and Donald Trump likes his teenage victims trim.
Every day, a new story drops detailing the president’s love of little girls and how Jeffrey Epstein stole his favorite 14-year old from Mar-a-lago to bring to his rape island and little handwritten notes to Esptein about their little secrets, always sealed with a kiss.
Triple H is fully aware that Donald Trump is pedophile and could not wait to hang out with him, or more importantly, be seen with him so he can show the dorks living life through MAGA VR headsets how cool and hip and totally okay with sexual predators he is.
ARE YOU READY… TO MAKE AMERICA FIT AGAIN
WHITE HOUSE X @TRIPLEH 🔥 pic.twitter.com/2sBFWok5ZF
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) July 31, 2025
Nostalgia-maxing at the most famous pedophile’s house for clout was the perfect indicator of what to expect from SummeSlam 2025.
Seth Rollins’s fake injury
3 weeks ago, on Saturday Night’s Main Event TV special, Seth Rollins busted his knee—leading to a rushed victory for LA Knight once everyone involved realized Seth was seriously hurt.
Shortly after, Seth Rollins went on Rich Eisen’s show to explain his injury—even adding that he needed further testing—implying his injury was a big deal.
He mentioned wanting to get back in time for Wrestlemania.
Sike.
He’s fine.
Seth Rollins has now executed 2 of the best cash-ins I’ve ever seen
— Donny Football (@DonChed54) August 3, 2025
I love this spot so much.
It’s the dumbest shit ever.
I understand a wrestler faking an injury to lower their opponent’s defenses and trick them to a victory. That makes sense.
That’s not what happened here.
CM Punk just wrestled Gunther for 30 minutes.
The old man could hardly catch his breath.
Instead of Seth Rollins crutching all the way down to the ring, lulling Punk into a sense of comfort, only to hit him with his crutches, jump up and down for a ref to come cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase and shocking Punk with the fake injury—Seth lowers his crutches at the top of the ramp to aura farm for the crowd while Punk, I guess, just stands in the ring and allows him.
Why wouldn’t Punk see Seth drop his crutches and roll out of the ring to avoid a cash-in?
Why would he watch Seth slowlyyyy unbuckle his fake knee brace?
Seth Rollins has been crutching around and doing a media tour about how damaged his knee is—he even threw away a match against LA Knight, not to trick the World Heavyweight Champion but to trick the audience.
This is bad storytelling.
I recognize that the Money in the Bank briefcase, in 2025, is obselete—a tool used to automatically put a championship belt on someone without the need to tell an interesting, compelling story to get to a satisfying endpoint—so faking an injury is a new, unique way to surprise the audience.
But using Rich Eisen, an accredited sports media figure, to help push this lie removes all trust from further press events.
Why would I want to listen to an hour-long Cody Rhodes podcast when we’ve now established that nothing these people say is true and they’re all working an angle they are incapable of selling within the frameworks of their own TV show?
It would be like Bryan Cranston doing an interview in between new episodes of Breaking Bad, lying about what’s happening in next week’s episode, only for the opposite to occur and then Bryan Cranston being like “lol I was actually Walter White during that interview”.
You shouldn’t have to watch characters from a TV show doing press tours elsewhere to understand the storylines of the TV program you’ve invested in.
None of these criticisms matter to Triple H.
The stadiums are full of fans who spend exorbitant amounts of money to Yeet with Jey Uso and to be in the same building as Cardi B.
It doesn’t matter that the show has been hijacked by old men “passing the torch” back and forth to other, older men.
Gunther is the best in-ring performer in the company. Let’s take a look at his 2025:
- Jey Uso—a man with 3 moves and 0 cardio
- Pat McAfee—an ESPN host
- Goldberg—a nearly 60-year-old with absolutely zero relationship to any WWE fan born after 9/11.
Becky Lynch and Lyra Valkaria are probably having the most interesting feud in the company right now and the fans spent most of their Summerslam match attempting to do the wave and disregarding the work those two women were putting in.
As long as WWE can trend online and make headlines, they can continue filling out stadiums full of people willing to spend their hard-earned money to see Jelly Roll and Logan Paul play.
Brock Lesnar return
Brock Lesnar returned at the end of SummerSlam to attack John Cena.
The sight of Lesnar got a “HOLY SHIT” out of Michael Cole. pic.twitter.com/Vbetxnktvz
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) August 4, 2025
The Seth Rollins fake injury was hilariously silly and an important reminder that Triple H, WWE’s head of creative, isn’t creative.
But Brock Lesnar showing up to challenge John Cena is laugh-out-loud funny.
An absolute middle finger to everyone.
A middle finger to fans who care that Brock Lesnar’s name appears 44 times in Janel Grant’s civil suit against Vince McMahon, claiming he sex trafficked her to his friends—friends such as Brock Lesnar.
It’s a middle finger to actual victims of sex crimes, as Janel Grant’s life is forever ruined by what Vince did, while Brock can return to WWE whenever he wants a quick payday and the fans will lose their minds every time.
It’s a middle finger to the performers in WWE’s locker room who have to hear Triple H tell them “keep working, your time will come” as geriatric, attention starved, used-to-be’s hoard all of the spotlight for themselves while guys like Montez Ford or Carmelo Hayes get pushed further and further down the card to make sure The Rock has all the time he needs to ramble until he accidentally says a new catchphrase he likes and will be trademarking at the hotel before the staff finishes clearing up the arena.
Summerslam 2025 was an overwhelming success for WWE.
As I write this, Janel Grant’s legal team just issued a statement against the return of Brock Lesnar and it doesn’t matter at all.
From the Hulk Hogan tributes to playing footsies with the pedo in the Oval Office to the return of Brock Lesnar, to the lazy, shitty, nonsensical Seth Rollins storytelling—WWE has declared what they are.
WWE is the anti-woke safe haven for emotionally stunted, misogynistic buffoons who can’t eat their cereal in the morning without their mothers choo-choo training the spoon into their mouths.
WWE has always been like this.
Owen Hart died, in the center of the ring, dropped from the fucking ceiling, in front of a room of witnesses—and the show went on like it was a guy stumbling on the top turnbuckle—like it was a regular ol’ in-match botch.
Female talent has been harassed and groped and assaulted, oftentimes by Vince McMahon and Brock Lesnar.
Shockingly, an entity exclusively focused on extracting every last penny from fans who were nervous to read aloud in front of the whole class.
If you’re an adult with no children who watches 3 hours of Raw every Monday night, you should explore new hobbies.
If you’re a teenager who watches WWE, become curious.
Check out other promotions and explore the differences in styles and presentations and writing.
It’s not too late.
You can escape this abusive relationship.
Thanks for reading.
Let me know your thoughts on WWE SummerSlam 2025, leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
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