I want to start off by saying, Miss Linda Holliday, my DMs are open if you want to discuss any harm this Jordon Hudson woman has caused you. Text me. I’m here for you. Linda Holliday—a lovely woman, I’m sure—dated future Hall of Fame NFL coach, Bill Belichick, for 16 years prior to his, uh, […]
In a world where planes are falling out of the sky and you have to save few paychecks up to purchase one dozen eggs, we’re all just looking for a romantic partner to help us carry the weight. Shannon Sharpe is no different from you or me. After 14 years as a Hall of Fame […]
Tiger Woods has had a decent life. Woods has won 15 Major Championships, like, 15 more than I have. His 82 PGA Tour wins are tied with Sam Snead for the most of all time. He’s made an estimated $1.8 in career earnings—just hitting a little ball into another little hole in the ground. Tiger […]
After decades of tyranny against male expression and individuality to manufacture some antiquated depiction of “class” and “professionalism”, the New York Yankees have finally ended their fascist policy against beards, allowing their players to now grow facial hair. High-ranking Yankees officials, including owner Hal Steinbrenner, spoke with a number of players and former players […]
I hate seeing leaked text messages hit the timeline. Always feels like a massive invasion of privacy and makes intimate, personal conversations sound insane when broadcast to the public. I read every single text screenshot I see but I’m not proud about it. Over the weekend, I saw a screenshot I absolutely should not have. […]
Growing up, I would have to downstairs to my family’s corded, landline phone to call my buddies—excited as hell to talk about the latest episode of Digimon. Y’all wasn’t outside when Patamon finally digivolved into Angemon. By the time I got a cell phone in high school, you still couldn’t really text all day every […]
We live in a world of constant negativity. Pessimism has become the default setting as we close ourselves off from connecting with others—fearing rejection as we retreat back into our isolated internet caves, siloed off from human touch. Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert has had a fairly public search for happiness. A couple years back, Boebert […]
Life is hard. We have to make a million little micro decisions every day and then we have to get up and do it all again the next. This article is the third draft I started this morning because I couldn’t decide what to write about first. Bianca Censori never has to worry about that. […]
I’ve always wanted to be a part of history but I was born too late to storm the beaches of Normandy and born too early to help Earth win the Galaxy Wars against the Martians. Over the weekend, I was finally able to secure my place in American history for generations to remember me. I […]
The Bachelor franchise has me in a chokehold. Between The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise and now The Golden Bachelor, I am locked in every Monday night to see (white) people in their mid-20’s struggle to be borderline perfect suitors as they compete against 29 of their peers to win the heart of a […]
Too Hot Too Handle is one of my favorite dating shows where 10 sociopaths go to an island expecting to hump everyone in their line of sight, only to find out hooking up is against the rules. It’s an interesting examination of how even the best-looking people in our society can still be overwhelmingly disgusting […]
Last year, I wrote about Bill Belichick breaking up with longtime girlfriend, Linda Holliday. I was mostly just using it as an opportunity to hit on Linda Holliday. I still am. Linda, if you’re reading this, call me. But it’s on to the next one for big Billy Belichick as he is reportedly dating 24-year-old […]
I am a diehard New York Giants fan and I feel like I have no real relationship with the star tight end of the team, Darren Waller. In 1 season with the team, he played 12 meaningless games and caught 52 forgettable passes from any combination of Daniel Jones, Tyrod Taylor and Tommy DeVito as […]
Future NFL Hall of Famer, Tom Brady, and one of the most successful supermodels of all time, Gisele Bündchen had an extremely public divorce. We were led to believe Gisele gave Tom an ultimatum to either retire and become a family man or keep playing football every Sunday while spending Monday through Saturday in a […]
My biggest fear in life is going outside and running into a guy using his phone as a microphone while another guy stands behind him using another phone to record. TikTok made street interviews more accessible and sometimes, it ends with a divorce. Meet this poor sucker who decided it was a good idea to […]
Ever since Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift started dating, the NFL has been waterboarding us with nonstop, wall-to-wall Taylor Swift propaganda. Last week, she attended the Kansas City Chiefs blowout home victory over the Chicago Bears and 99% of the game was a live feed of her hanging with Travis’s mom, Donna and 1% was […]
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