Stop Asking Karl-Anthony Towns Questions

Whenever Karl-Anthony Towns finds himself holding a microphone, a part of his brain activates that causes him to say the most insane nonsense anyone has ever said.

KAT either has an inflated ego or lacks self-awareness but he cannot stop himself from saying absurd shit.

This week, Towns found himself at some strange town hall conference.

During the Q&A portion, a fan asked him how he feels about the doubters who believe the Timberwolves can’t win with their 3 big man combo of Rudy Gobert, Naz Reid and himself.

Here’s his response:

At NBA Con, I asked Karl-Anthony Towns what he would say to folks who think the Naz Reid-KAT-Rudy Gobert combo can’t work.

“Watch us” pic.twitter.com/MIvPUy7CD7

— Malika Andrews (@malika_andrews) July 10, 2023

Prior to last season, the Timberwolves traded Patrick Beverley, Malik Beasley, Jarred Vanderbilt, Leandro Bolmaro, and the draft rights to center Walker Kessler in addition to four first-round picks and a 2026 first-round pick swap for Rudy Gobert.

Gobert is one of the highest-paid players in the NBA and was a perennial Defensive Player of the Year candidate.

Karl-Anthony Towns—although he’s 7 feet tall—couldn’t stop a 7-year-old in a wheelchair from hitting a layup against him so Minnesota had to acquire a second 7-footer to protect the rim so KAT can skip around the perimeter and pretend to be a guard.

After trading away 5 players and 4 first-round picks for Rudy Gobert, Minnesota won 4 fewer games than they did the year before without Gobert.

So not only are the Timberwolves running it back with their two “star” big men but they just re-signed a third center, Naz Reid, to a 3-year $42 million contract which means 3 out of the team’s top 5 highest paid guys all play the same exact position.

In the modern NBA, this roster construction is a death sentence but not to Karl-Anthony Towns.

“Watch us”.

KAT has been in the NBA for almost a decade and he’s never made it out of the first round of the playoffs.

But “watch us” isn’t the only wildly overambitious claim he’s made this summer.

Last month, KAT visited the podcast of his former teammate, Pat Bev—who was given a podcast by Barstool Sports following a trip to ESPN where Pat Bev spent the whole day ‘keeping it real’ aka being an asshole.

Here’s Karl-Anthony Towns discussing his legacy:

“When my time is up and I retire… there’s gonna be people who are gonna say that I changed the game.” – Karl-Anthony Towns

Where would you rank KAT right now amongst the best players in the NBA?

(via @PatBevPod)pic.twitter.com/zUhoiKdhJ4

— Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) June 14, 2023

Ew.

If there are kids outside of St. Paul, Minnesota, on the playground pretending to be Karl-Anthony Towns then we need a complete overhaul of the public school system. You guys can try to shut down drag shows. I am removing basketball hoops from any kid’s driveway wearing a KAT jersey and chucking up corner 3’s and dribbling off their feet when they try to drive to the basket.

Statistically, KAT is one of the best perimeter shooters for his size and position. He shoots 39% from 3 over the course of his career. Impressive. Sure.

When it comes to career 3-point percentage, Towns ranked 66th. Impressive. Sure.

Matt Bonner is 6-foot-10. He ranks 20th. He was a big man that shot 3’s. Matt Bonner didn’t ‘change the game’.

Karl-Anthony Towns has made 3 All-Star teams and was selected to 3rd-team All-NBA twice. Impressive. Sure.

But he is easily the worst “star” big man amongst his peers.

Nikola Jokic and Joel Embiid have MVP trophies. Anthony Davis and DeMarcus Cousins have far more awards and accolades.

Towns is more on the level of Kristaps Porzingis and no one on planet Earth is going to look back at Porzingis’s career and think he changed the game.

Maybe Mavericks fans will look back and think Porzingis stole some years of Luka Doncic’s prime but for the most part, Towns isn’t in the tier of guys who will even be remembered once they retire.

You know what other big man was good at shooting? Mehmet Okur? When was the last time you thought about Mehmet Okur before I mentioned him just now? Never?

Karl-Anthony Towns is under the impression he’s in the running for replacing Jerry West as the new NBA logo despite never doing anything of significance.

Plus, he got choked out by Ben Simmons.