So You Just Got Fired For Banging All of Your Coworkers...Now What?

We’ve all done some clown stuff at work before. Some people have shown up late. Some people have called out pretending to be sick when they actually just want the day off. And some people casually have sex with all of their coworkers.

A small Tennessee police station has been rocked by allegations of wild sexual misconduct, after a married female officer allegedly had steamy romps with six male officers, including illicit on-duty liaisons, according to reports.

Officer Maegan Hall and her fellow law officers allegedly engaged in wild sexcapades that included sending dirty pictures, taking her top off at a “Girls Gone Wild” hot tub party, and even having oral sex with two officers at the La Vergne, Tenn., police station, WTVF TV reported.

The steamy shenanigans — in which Hall allegedly bragged about the size of one partner’s genitals and claimed to be in an “open marriage” — not only led Hall to be canned, but led to the firings of Sgt. Lewis Powell, Officer Juan Lugo, Sgt. Ty McGowan and Detective Seneca Shields, according to a December internal investigation.

Meet Maegan Hall, the sexiest woman in La Verge, Tennessee.

(Ignore her husband, everyone else at this police department did).

Part of me wants to defend this young lady because you should be able to sleep with whoever you want whether they’re coworkers or not. If they’re all consenting adults and they’re all treating her husband like some annoying ant that won’t go away then why is this any business of her (former) employers?

At the same time, I reckon it’s difficult to get work done in the office when everyone is taking turns humping Maegan Hall in the break room. Personally, I’d prefer not to work in a building that smells like sex all day long.

The report indicates that she slept with all these men in hotels, at her house and as well as at work. Tough to fire a woman who is so dedicated that she’s taking her work home with her. It’s tough to find employees like that in 2023.

Now, there are a lot of people upset that cops are allowed to freely massacre black and brown people with zero consequences but having sex with your coworkers is a fireable offense and I totally understand that frustration.

Some people see a flaw in the system but I see an opportunity. I don’t think the police should exist and this Maegan Hall story gives us the blueprint for how to end them. Send in a sexually ambitious young married woman who is willing to sleep with the entire police precinct and get everyone fired. It’s also crucial that the honeypot is married. Cops are terrible people. Part of the attraction to the girl is knowing that they are disrespecting her husband.

Maegan Hall just handed us the secret to ending the police. Also on how to lose your job in the funnest way possible. Wait, she might be the first cop who is actually a real-life hero. Put her statue up in the heart of La Vergne. That part of the country seems like a place that really loves its statues if you know what I mean.

Free Officer Hall and send her to the NYPD. Her sex tape with Mayor Eric Adams is going to change the world.