I love Shedeur Sanders.
A young man, showered with praise his entire life by a father who dedicated his retired life to getting his weird, awkward son into the NFL—with the help of a football media class full of celebrity worshipping ball sniffers like Mel Kiper—willing to light their crediblity on fire, live on television—gassing up a QB who stinks, in hopes of maintaining his proximity to his famous father.
Of course, Shedeur got cocky and believed his father.
Why wouldn’t you believe your dad telling you you’re great? Every son wants that.
Kevin Stefanksi is Shedeur’s first football coach whose sperm didn’t create him.
Let’s see how he played without his dad talking in his helmet:
- 4-for-16 (25%)
- 47 yards
- 1 interception
Also sacked twice for -27 yards.
My guy was taking 2-step dropbacks, just letting Ravens defenders surround him.
He’s a rookie, thrown into the Atlantic Ocean from a helicopter for his first swim lesson—a divisional game against a desperate Baltimore Ravens team needing to stack wins.
Success would’ve required summoning the dark arts.
And he sank to the bottom of that ocean like he had cinder blocks tied around his ankles.
I don’t think Sheduer Sanders is good.
If you disagree, please revisit the 4-for-16 passing performance from the weekend.
But Shedeur Sanders has a lot of career left.
His dad has connections. He’ll bounce around as a pet project for NFL organizations hoping to turn mud into wine and drink that wine with Deion Sanders.
Kevin Stefanski has made Deshaun Watson, Joe Flacco, Dillon Gabriel and Shedeur Sanders all look like Shedeur Sanders.
The Browns head coaching job in perpetuity.
What Epstein files does Stefanski have in possession to keep him employed here?
Nothing good will come in Cleveland.
Shedeur Sander’s house isn’t even safe.
Shedeur Sanders home burglarized
Approximately $200,000 in property was stolen from the home of Cleveland Browns rookie quarterback Shedeur Sanders during a break-in Sunday, according to police.
Three suspects entered Sanders’ home at about 6:46 p.m. ET, according to a news release from the Medina County Sheriff’s Office. Surveillance cameras in the home captured video footage of the suspects entering and exiting different portions of the home. The suspects were wearing masks and gloves and were seen exiting Sanders’ home at around 6:58 p.m. ET with property belonging to Sanders. (ESPN)
Brutal Sunday for Shedeur Sanders.
After giggling and eye-rolling whenever asked about his place in the Browns QB depth chart, with an opportunity to go out there, upset the Baltimore Ravens, proving his father’s faith in him was not blind—Shedeur looked like he was trying to throw a balloon.
Then he got home to find out strangers were in his home, taking shit.
This is adversity, the crucible through which pain, strife and labor result in success.
If Shedeur Sanders improves next week—displaying an ability to complete at least half of his passes, maybe get sacked closer to the line of scrimmage—6 days after his home, his sacred dwelling was mutilated—then he has that inner sicko necessary to remain in the NFL.
I hope he plays well.
Because at some point, soon, he won’t.
And it’ll be funny again.
Also, this isn’t the first NFL player whose home was invaded while they were playing.
Joe Burrow, Patrick Mahones and Travis Kelce have suffered similar fates.
While way-too-online freaks in Ohio daydream about the imaginary crime sprees soon to break out in NYC under new mayor Zohan Mandami, Danny Ocean and his boys are running through Cleveland sewers to steal from Shedeur.
Please don’t take things from people’s homes.
Thanks for reading.
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