“With the number two pick in the 2018 NFL Draft, the New York Giants select, running back Saquon Barkley, from Penn State”
Those words will forever haunt me.
Old Man Eli was coming off a season so bad he gifted the Giants with the No. 2 pick and an opportunity to draft his replacement.
With Baker Mayfield off the board, Giants GM, Dave Gettleman, had his pick of any QB available. Lamar Jackson. Josh Allen. Sam Darnold.
He picked a running back.
Sick.
Current Giants GM, Joe Schoen, was handed Dave Gettleman’s pile of dogshit and was told “You have one hour to build a rocket ship. GO!”—and in a strange environment where his boss was standing over his shoulder monitoring his every keystroke, Schoen made a judgment call to pay quarterback Daniel Jones instead of Saquon Barkley.
Thanks to HBO’s Hard Knocks, we all bore witness to a conversation we absolutely should not have been privy to between Giants owner John Mara and his general manager.
“I’LL HAVE A TOUGH TIME SLEEPING IF SAQUON GOES TO PHILADELPHIA…”
-John Mara Giants owner
The man just ran for 2K yards in a Eagles uniform. I know he is SICK pic.twitter.com/Dz2xNJOorr
— 🙇🏾♂️🙇🏾Blog Boi 🙇🏾🙇🏾♂️ (@YoungLionBlog) December 29, 2024
You could make the argument a man of Mara’s age has many things preventing him from sleeping well at night.
Heartburn, back pain, arthritis, guilt in knowing he hasn’t earned a single penny in his bank account and every time he runs his father’s credit card to purchase some expensive shit he doesn’t need, another man becomes homeless—countless reasons why an elderly man may have trouble finding peace.
I don’t think anyone expected this would happen…
SAQUON JUST HIT A REVERSE HURDLE ⁉️
OMG. 🤯
(via @NFL)pic.twitter.com/uZ11M3qA59
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) November 3, 2024
Saquon Barkley invented a fucking new move.
Let’s just take a quick, super fun look at the season Saquon is having with the Philadelphia Eagles
- 2,005 rushing yards
- 13 rushing touchdowns
- 2,283 yards from scrimmage
- 15 total touchdowns
Saquon Barkley is currently having the 8th greatest rushing season in NFL history.
Meanwhile, Daniel Jones was turned into scouting team safety before inevitably being cut.
The Giants chose to pay Daniel Jones over Saquon Barkley. Barkley could break the single-season rushing record and Daniel Jones plays for the Minnesota Vikings.
HBO should cancel Hard Knocks
Life is hard, yo.
Work and relationships and bills and random New Year’s Eve terrorist attacks, like, life is hell.
Occasionally, some of us find momentary joy in seeing a football team we love score more points than a football team we do not love.
In order to protect our love for these teams, HBO must cancel Hard Knocks.
Giants fans shouldn’t have to watch the behind the scenes of a directionless front office making random decisions based on vibes and what’ll help them sleep.
And now Saquon Barkley is getting Instagram ad money off the back of John Mara’s weird ass comments.
#EAGLES RB SAQUON BARKLEY TROLLING #GIANTS OWNER JOHN MARA IN THIS AD.
😭😭😭
“I’ll have a tough time sleeping if Saquon goes to Philadelphia…” – Mara
FUNNIEST AD OF THE YEAR.
pic.twitter.com/dJJwXRxWmk— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) January 2, 2025
Thank you to Unisom for reminding all of us that John Mara said something 8 months ago. Hard Knocks only exists to show fans how inept their teams are.
I want to convince myself these organizations are run by the brightest, sharpest minds on the planet.
Instead, Hard Knocks shows you that most NFL teams are run by scammers and their scammer children, all pretending to be experts, convincing everyone in the room of the positive effects of their snake oil.
Good for Saquon Barkley. He gets to make his return to the playoffs, once again playing behind a quarterback that he probably has a stronger throwing arm than. I hope he has a playlist ready for the awkward flight home after the Detroit Lions run them out of the gym.
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