thelesterlee
Breaking Phillies news:
Phillies closer Jose Alvarado has been suspended for 80 games.
But also … he’d be ineligible to pitch in the postseason if the Phillies get there.
— Jayson Stark (@jaysonst.bsky.social) May 18, 2025 at 11:38 AM
The Philadelphia Phillies are neck and neck with the New York Mets for first place in the NL East and they now have to go 80 games without their star closer after Major League Baseball suspended him for failing a PED test.
March 31, 2025. Jose Alvarado strikes out 3 Rockies. pic.twitter.com/BRjW8PyumV
— Phillies Vault (@PhilliesVault) March 31, 2025
Here’s what Jose Alvarado’s season was looking like before the suspension:
- 20 innings pitched
- 4 wins
- 1 loss
- 7 saves
- 25 strikeouts
- 4 walks
- 157 ERA+
Alvarado claims it was a weight-loss drug that triggered the failed test. Sucks that Jose was simply trying to get a summer body but I suppose he now has 80 days to take all the Ozempic he wants. Lord knows he’ll have the free time to hit the pool for the next 3 months.
How will the Phillies survive without Jose Alvarado?
Even before Alvarado was sneaking off to the bathroom to inject his belly with Ozempic, the Phillies bullpen ranked 24th in ERA. Losing Jose—one of the few consistent arms they have—is a problem.
It’s safe to say, no one currently on their 26-man roster is capable of stepping up to replace him, so Philadelphia will have to look for some outside reinforcements while Jose Alvarado shops for smaller swimsuits.
Here are 3 quick names of the top of my head I think the Phillies should trade for:
1. RHP Ryan Helsey—St. Louis Cardinals: Helsey has 9 saves, a 1.44 WHIP and has earned Cy Young votes in 2 of the last 3 years. Problem is, the Cardinals have won of their last 10 and have rocketed themselves back to the top of the NL Central soooo I imagine they’ren ot in a hurry to sell one of their best pitchers but just wait. The real Cardinals will reveal themselves soon.
2. RHP Kenley Jansen—Los Angeles Angels: Jansen has a 5.40 ERA and is nowhere near the All Star he was with the Dodgers as his cutter, uh, rarely cuts but I imagine it won’t cost Philadelphia a top prospect to acquire the 37-year old fallen angel who may still be capable of turning back the clock, like, once a week. Maybe.
3. RHP Jake Bird—Colorado Rockies: There are 29 Major League Baseball teams and once a night, one of them are forced to play a local Colorado rec league team named after the former MLB club. The Rockies are the only team that still has single-digit wins. 29-year old Jake Bird is having the best season of his career and it doesn’t matter because he plays for a team void of talent.
Here’s Jake Bird striking out 5 batters in a row for your viewing pleasure pic.twitter.com/CAPyUkTX5K
— Christian Saez🎙 (@DNVRSaez) April 6, 2025
#FreeJakeBird
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