The Knicks flew to Hollywood with championship rings in their mind’s eye. Winners of 6 of their last 8 games, including big victories over Houston and Denver, putting Wemby in the Spurs in handcuffs, San Antonio scoring only 89 points in the Garden, the Knicks were a Top 5 defense, speeding toward the postseason playing their best ball.
Early season road trip struggles evaporated, New York took 9 of their last 11 road games, 3 straight by 15+ points.
This is a serious basketball organization, two huge LA victories away from the NBA podcast verse surrendering to their greatness, hailing the Knicks “East favorites”, finally, at long last.
Off the PJ, ready for back-to-back nationally broadcast games against two of the greatest basketball players in the history of history: Luka Doncic and Kawhi Leonard.
The Knicks got jumped…
Lakers beat Knicks 110-97
First ballot unanimous Hall of Famer out, his elbow and foot hurts.
Perfect, more elbow room for Luka footwork.
Luka Doncic vs Knicks:
– 35 Points
– 8 Rebounds
– 4 Assists pic.twitter.com/5kWupnNOtu— Laker Performances (@LALPerformance) March 8, 2026
Doncic went 11-for-25 for 35 points and 5 disgusting, eye-rolling threes.
Stepping back into the courtsides, falling into the arms of the runaway Bill Maher pays to listen to him complain about Zohran Mandami.
OG Anunoby, an empty folding chair to Luka—playing like a Turkish teenage draft prospect whose game film is just him working in an empty, dimly lit gymnasium.
DeAndre Ayton clocked in motivated—3 rebounds (1 offensive), a block and an alley-oop in the first 5 minutes.
A player unaddressed in the scouting report went All-Star mode unprovoked.
He barely played the rest of the game—6 points, 8 boards and 2 blocks in only 20 minutes—but it didn’t matter. His quick burst of effort pushed the Lakers boulder down the hill.
The Knicks never possessed the lead.
All the Lakers showed up. Rui and Kennard both hit 3 open threes. The Lakers zone defense funneled ballhandlers directly into an awaiting Marcus Smart, cupping his balls, ready to draw a charge—desperate to prove himself necessary before JJ Redick removes him from the postseason rotation.
And Luka Doncic levitated above the court, dropping balls into the bucket like spice bae. His typical chaotic, antagonistic play tempered by the fear of catching another technical foul and facing a 1-game suspension—Luka played exclusively with the hoop.
Jalen Brunson not so focused.
24 points but 8-for-19 from the field with 7 turnovers. He looked like a talented child who won some raffle as giants towered over him, snatching all his weak-ass little passes, sending his layups into the photographers.
Mikal Bridges scored 0 points, 0-for-6 from the field in 27 minutes. Trade deadline darling Jose Alvarado no-showed—0 points in 7 minutes. Josh Hart and OG Anunoby combined for 21. Mitchell Robinson no impact on the boards.
You can’t win every game, especially when the team shoots 8-for-34 from 3.
Bad luck happens—onto the Clippers.
Clippers beat Knicks 126-118
Nope, it gets worse.
This time, I had to stay up to like, 1 am to watch the Knicks final gasp in the final minute of the game before the Clippers held their heads underwater, sending New York to the Pearly Gates.
Starting the season 6-21, the Clippers climbed back to .500 for the first time—trading away James Harden and Ivica Zubac for Darius Garland and Benedict Mathurin—in the midst of Kawhi’s greatest career regular season—night-after-night-after-night, manipulating games to his own personal desired outcome, with the help of his new lightspeed guards.
The Knicks attempted to go blow-for-blow with Kawhi, but whomst amongst us can? We are all mere mortals at the feet of the basketball Gods.
Kawhi is the best basketball player of all time. pic.twitter.com/oCmWDUfMI1
— Dead Serious (@Deadseriousness) March 10, 2026
29 points, 10-for-19 from the field, 8 assists, 7 rebounds and 2 steals. The Knicks double teams did nothing but help Kawhi stack assists.
Jalen Brunson showed up in the second night in LA, 28 points on 12-for-23 shooting with 8 assists and significantly fewer turnovers— don’t let Jalen plant that hard boot in the paint, he’s floating a perfect touch shot through the rim, art.
Brunson in his bag:
midrange post up. strike 1. 88mph fastball down the middle. Your heart is racing. Brunson’s already in his spot. You just gave a free strike to a killer.
head fake, ball outside. Check swing. Got the batter’s eye looking away.
jab step, head fake. Strike 2. 94 mph fastball up and in. stop crowding the plate.
Step back mid-range. Strike 3 swing and miss. This wasn’t at-bat, this was assault.
But the Knicks looked exhausted—giving up 126 points after a stretch of not allowing anyone to touch 100.
The Knicks went to Los Angeles, chewed up, spit out, abused—like a woman Steve Tisch promised the world to, between emails to Epstein, asking for advice on how to better sleep with women under false pretenses.
4 Takeaways From the Knicks Hollywood Beatdown
1. No More Parties in LA
The Knicks never have to play a game in Los Angeles for the rest of this season. Even if they make the NBA Finals, they will not be facing the Lakers or Clippers.
Here’s the upcoming Knicks schedule:
- @ Utah Jazz
- @ Indiana Pacers
- vs. Golden State Warriors
- vs. Indiana Pacers
- @ Brooklyn Nets
- vs. Washington Wizards
- vs. New Orleans Saints
The Knicks have 7 straight games against unserious ball clubs. We must not be shooketh by the LA riots but instead, bandage the wounds, put some gauze on that shit, wrap it up, and go put numbers up on these incoming losers.
This is a 7-game stretch where guys can get their confidence back. Looking at you, Mikal. Shoot the fucking ball. You’re good at it.
2. Karl-Athony Towns greatness wasted
Against the Lakers:
- 25 points
- 8-for-17 shooting
- 8-for-8 from the line
- 16 rebounds
- 1 steal
- 1 block
Against the Clippers:
- 35 points
- 13-for-17 shooting
- 3-for-4 from three
- 12 rebounds
- 7 assists
- 1 block
KAT is active on defense. He’s finishing at the rim instead of closing his eyes and Randy Johnson-ing the ball at the backboard, collapsing into folded laundry as he lands on the hardwood, whining at a referee who couldn’t give less of a shit. If Towns doesn’t get to take the shot, he’s in the paint, battling for the put-back.
The Karl-Anthony Towns the Knicks need to win a championship’s arrived and everyone not named Mohamed Diawara is wasting it.
3. Kawhi and Luka are MVPs
I’d be completely okay with Kawhi Leonard or Luka Doncic winning this season’s MVP award. I know SGA ad Nikola Jokic are the only players allowed to win MVPs, Wemby zealots counting their missed games, hoping neither makes the 65-game threshold, so they can anoint Dr. Doom, king of San Antonio—but Kawhi grabbing the steering wheel, demanding the Clippers turn the car around, 6-21 to 32-32, the most efficient and ethical 27.9 points per game and Luka, leading the league in scoring, laughs from the belly, smiling ear-to-ear at the disappointment of his defenders, keeping the Lakers in playoff contention while LeBron and his son waste two valuable roster spots for an inevtiable Netflix doc with no edge, wit, artistry or reason for existing.
4. The Lakers are going to be so good when LeBron James and DeAndre Ayton are gone
Look how great the Lakers looked when DeAndre Ayton tried for a second. If they can replace him with a center who changed classrooms in high school, the Lakers are title contenders.
And yea, scroll up slightly for my thoughts on the LeBron Boyz.
#FreeLuka.
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