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NFL Week 13 Awards

From Josh Allen having the best year of his life to Azeez Al-Shaair sending Trevor Lawrence to his ancestors, here are the NFL Week 13 awards

nfl week 13

Not the greatest week of football for ya boy.

Just had to watch the Giants lose on Thanksgiving Day to Cooper Rush in front of my extended family and even though it feels like I haven’t watched the Giants win a game since the guy from Home Improvement was hosting Family Feud, somehow there are two teams worse than New York so the Giants can’t even get the first pick.

Whatever.

This isn’t about my personal grievances.

Actually, sure it is. But about all 32 teams.

Not just the Giants.

Anyway, here are your NFL Week 13 Awards:

Disaster Class Award: San Francisco 49ers

nfl week 13

Perhaps I hadn’t fully recognized how important Christian McCaffrey was to this 49ers offense until both of his Achilles blew and now his PCL exploded.

The 49ers flew into Buffalo for the most important game of their season.

Buffalo beat the undefeated Chiefs.

Josh Allen’s name is already printed on the MVP trophy.

Coming in 5-6 on the year, this was San Fran’s last chance to find out if they should even be thinking about the playoffs.

Then it snowed and the 49ers looked like they were playing football in a space shuttle leaving the Earth’s gravitational pull..

The Bills won 35-10.

1-2-3…CANCUN!

The Revenge Game Award: Jerry Jeudy

nfl week 13

Since being drafted no. 15 overall by the Denver Broncos in 2020, Jerry Jeudy has zero seasons with 100 receptions. Not a single season with 1,000 receiving yards. He scored more than 5 touchdowns just once.

He was a bust.

Then Denver traded him to Cleveland before the season in exchange for a 5th and 6th rounder.

And Jeudy is on-pace to have the best season of his career thanks mainly to a monster Monday night game in Denver against his exes.

Here’s what Jeudy did against the Broncos:

  • 9 catches
  • 235 receiving yards
  • 1 touchdown

His 235 yards against Denver is the most for a receiver against his former team in NFL history.

The “Yea, I Guess Sometimes Stats Really Don’t Matter” Award: Baker Mayfield

nfl week 13

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers gutted out a 26-23 victory over the Carolina Panthers. In the win, Baker Mayfield threw his 25th touchdown pass of the season.

Nice.

Mayfield now joins Tom Brady as the only Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterbacks to record 25+ touchdown passes in back-to-back seasons.

Brady went to a Super Bowl.

The 2024 Bucs are fighting to get into the playoffs.

Hm, maybe there’s more to being a successful NFL quarterback than just running up the score on a dead Giants team and narrowly escaping with a 3-point win against a Panthers team with like, 2 good players on the roster.

Hm.

The “Welcome To Trump’s America” Award: Cooper DeJean

cooper dejean derrick henry nfl week 13

In a normal world, Cooper DeJean would be one of the many nameless, faceless good cornerbacks in this league who occasionally get discussed by Mina Kimes but more often than not, goes unnoticed because the NFL broadcast literally doesn’t even show what the receivers and defensive backs are doing.

But Cooper DeJean is allergic to the sun and plays a position that is typically occupied by browner folks so whenever DeJean manages to jog onto the field with his helmet facing the correct way, he gets treated like he’s Champ Bailey mixed with Charles Woodson, and then injected with Darrelle Revis’s DNA.

He tackled Derrick Henry on Sunday.

Cute.

Henry was just catching a pass and changing directions.

Anyone could’ve made that tackle.

Not me, of course, but that’s because I have a bum shoulder from a middle school Phys ed. basketball sesh gone too far.

And before we keep going, I will admit I’d probably have more fun with the whole white cornerback thing if he wasn’t in an Eagles jersey.

This entire conversation is about biases.

Mine are not racial.

Strictly regional hatred.

Which is allowed.

I think.

The “He Can’t Keep Getting Away With This” Award: Bobby Wagner

nfl week 13

Dan Quinn and Kliff Kingsbury and Jayden Daniels get a ton of credit for the Washington Commanders suddenly becoming a respectable organization with actual expectations and good for them.

I hope they all have an incredible offseason in Thailand after they get ejected from the first round of the playoffs.

But the addition of Bobby Wagner brought credibility and professionalism to a franchise previously none for sending potential advertising partners emails with nudes of their cheerleaders attached.

In Sunday’s 42-19 Commanders victory over the Tennesee Titans, Bobby Wagner recorded 5 tackles and a QB hit.

Bobby Wagner now has 13 consecutive seasons with 100+ tackles joining London Fletcher as the only players in NFL history to accomplish this feat.

He was drafted in 2012. That was 3 presidents ago.

The “You Deserve This” Award: Aaron Rodgers

nfl week 13

Before joining the New York Jets, Aaron Rodgers had been 75-0 in games in which his team had a 14+ point lead at home.

That streak is over after the Jets lost 26-21 to the Seattle Seahawks.

Yikes.

Pick-six from the red zone, directly into the paws of a defensive lineman.

I know I’ve already shit on Aaron Rodgers this season. In fact, I’ve already made this exact point but I cannot stress this enough: Aaron Rodgers deserves this.

I’ve read too many stories about whether or not Rodgers wants to stay with the Jets and which teams should sign him in 2025.

What has this elderly “independent thinker” done since the last iPhone was released?

Aaron Rodgers deserves this.

He ended his career by being weird every time a microphone was in his face and now it’s translating to weird plays on the field.

Unfortunately, I fear Rodgers is too deep into the 4chan forums to be humbled by this experience, and instead, he’ll blame the establishment or Dr. Fauci or whatever. Aaron Rodgers won’t claim he was forced into retirement because no team wanted to invest money into him.

He’ll say he was ‘canceled’ and whine all 2025. Yay.

The “Oh No, They Found Out You Were Muslim” Award: Azeez Al-Shaair

Azeez Al-Shaair

Houston Texans linebacker, Azeez Al-Shaair, decided he wanted to leave work early and knew he’d probably lose his job if he tapped his coach on the shoulder and asked if he could clock out early.

SO instead, Azeez clocked both himself and Trevor Lawrence out with a brutal hit on Lawrence as he was sliding safely.

It didn’t take long for the internet to find his “Free Palestine” cleats, in accord with his work with the Palestine Children Relief Fund.

I think you and I both see the direction a lot of social media is taking, where the loudest most controversial and inflammatory posts get all of the attention—which just encourages more people to be loud and controversial and inflammatory—so yea, it sucks that Azeez almost crippled Trevor Lawrence but I don’t think we need to hang this one on his religion.

Think my man Azeez just wanted a half day.

As someone who has left many jobs early, I feel him.

The Automatic Coach of the Year Award: DeMeco Ryans

nfl week 13

As the head coach, it’s your job to keep the players motivated and locked into your messaging—which means you have to back them up even if they accidentally send an opposing quarterback into the Upside Down.

Here’s DeMeco Ryans defending Azeez Al-Shaair’s hit on Trevor:

“We stand behind Azeez and everything that came from that. Of course the unfortunate hit on a quarterback. But it’s two-fold. A lot of the quarterbacks in this day and age, they try to take advantage of the rule where they slide late and they try to get an extra yard.

“Now, you’re a defender, and a lot of onus is on the defender. Whether it’s on the sideline or it’s on the quarterback, you don’t know what a guy is thinking. You don’t know if a guy’s staying up and he’s continuing to run. You don’t know. And you get a late slide and you hit the guy.

“Unfortunate that Trevor got hurt. We hope Trevor’s OK. But also, if we’re sliding, you have to get down.”

Football is tough, man

. It’s a sport where someone could die on any given play.

Damar Hamlin literally died a couple years ago from a totally legal play.

The game is a series of consecutive car crashes these players put themselves through once a week while we get pissed at them for not helping us win bets that don’t matter.

Shout out DeMeco Ryans.

We should all hope to work for bosses who have our backs like this.

Biggest Winner: Josh Allen

nfl week 11

The last time I wrote NFL Awards, Josh Allen was the biggest winner.

He rushed for a huge touchdown to end the Chiefs undefeated season while Lamar Jackson, who was the MVP front-runner, lost the division lead to the Steelers because it felt like he was afraid to run.

And now that the MVP looks guaranteed to be Josh’s, my man is BALLING.

Josh Allen was 13-for-17 (76%) with 161 total yards and 3 total touchdowns. In a blizzard. Light work.

Oh, at one point in the game, Josh Allen recorded both a passing touchdown AND a receiving touchdown on the same play.

With Patrick Mahomes throwing more interceptions to make the games less boring for himself, Lamar Jackson being so weird about running the ball that even his mother had to tell him to take off more often and Joe Burrow losing every single game (we’ll get to that in a second)—the 2024 NFL season belongs to Josh Allen.

Oh and now he’s engaged to a movie star who I someday hope to see in a movie.

It’s Josh Allen’s world and we’re all lucky to be living in it.

Biggest Loser: Zac Taylor

nfl week 13

Man, I sure am seeing a ton of coaches being fired this year.

You know who’s probably also noticing the number of head coaches being fired?

Zac Taylor—the guy who started the season losing to a New England Patriots team that spent the offseason being like “We do not even care if we win games this season. Here’s Jacoby Brissett. Whatever”

Here’s a cute little stat: Joe Burrow is the only quarterback in NFL history to average 275 passing yards per game, with 30 TDs and 5 or fewer INTs through 12 games, and have a losing record.

At a certain point, we need to look at the Bengals head coach—who got WORKED by Sean McVay in the Super Bowl—and wonder if it’s time to pair Joe Burrow with someone good at their job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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