Matthew Stafford and Bryce Young in a battle of clutch no. 1 overall picks. Sam Darnold teabagging his old Vikings squad. Thanksgiving games I have to rewatch because, believe it or not, I was spending time with loved ones. I don’t live in solitude (yet).
Let’s give out some Week 13 NFL Awards:
Disaster Class Award: Pittsburgh Steelers
https://t.co/Q8VIQhwwHO pic.twitter.com/lwYwsYLs9C
— Dreadlef Schrempf (@TheLesterLee) December 1, 2025
The Pittsburgh Steelers have an elderly, conservative, risk-averse quarterback with a broken hand, terrified of getting hit (no shade, me too).
He needs to get the ball out instantly; his receivers given no chance of catching any balls down the field unless they’re super open.
DK Metcalf entered Week 13 averaging 13.6 yards per reception, 26th in the league.
Metcalf has recorded just 28 first-down receptions, 31st in the league.
The Steelers second-best pass catcher is tight end Pat Freiermuth, who ranks 97th in the NFL with 298 yards.
This offense is buns.
Aaron Rodgers got sacked one time against the Bills on Sunday.
He fumbled and Buffalo scored a touchdown. Aaron Rodgers got knocked out of the game.
Joey Bosa sack fumble and Christian Benford scoop and score TD changes the Bills-Steelers game.
Play also knocks injured Aaron Rodgers out of game. And Benford picks off backup Mason Rudolph! pic.twitter.com/9ATg6ShS1Y
— Cameron Wolfe (@CameronWolfe) November 30, 2025
One sack, Rodgers gave up a touchdown and sent in Mason fucking Rudolph.
To do this…
on a happy note, mason rudolph went 0/3 with an interception in his brief appearance in the steelers getting smacked pic.twitter.com/49umM97Xyt
— Pluto (@HelloFromPluto) December 1, 2025
Aaron Rodgers may have finally beaten Mike Tomlin. It’s so close to being over for that whole “well, Tomlin *always* finishes above .500”.
Not anymore.
The Carson Wentz Cartoonish Hijinks Awards: Max Brosmer
JJ McCarthy, so far, statistically, is one of the worst quarterbacks in the NFL.
His backup? Worse.
Oh no Max Brosmer…
Candidate for funniest interception of the year pic.twitter.com/uEnlUKTtXG
— NFL Interceptions (@interceptnfl) November 30, 2025
The Vikings lost 0-26.
Shut out against the Seattle Seahawks and Sam Darnold—a quarterback who won them 14 games last season.
Let’s look at Max Brosmer’s legendary NFL debut:
- 19-for-30
- 126 passing yards
- -1 rushing yards
- 4 interceptions
- 0 touchdowns
- 5.6 QBR
One of the worst QB performances of all time.
Just a guy who sucks.
And I know he’ll have an inevitable 10+ year NFL career, bouncing around the league, making millions of dollars—coaches contemplating forfeiting games if their starter gets injured and they’re forced to devise a game plan for Max fucking Brosmer.
The “He Can’t Keep Getting Away With This” Award: Nick Folk
41-year old Nick Folk barely drills a game-winning 56-yard FG and the #Jets get their third win of the season.
pic.twitter.com/EqWlSblV4e— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) November 30, 2025
Game over.
Death.
Taxes.
Nick Folk for three.
Jets win 27-24 over the Falcons.
As the prophecy foretold.
The “Ohhh, I See Why They Didn’t Want Your Ass Around” Award: Arden Key
In 2023, linebacker Arden Key signed a 1-year deal with the Jacksonville Jaguars. Decent year but mostly a backup.
Jacksonville moved on while division rival, Tennessee, offered him a 3-year contract the next year.
In Key’s first season with the Titans, Arden sat out 6 games, suspended by the NFL for taking HGH.
Now, almost two whole years removed from his year abroad in Jacksonville, Florida—a cycle of steroids later—Arden Key got hit with an unnecessary roughness penalty for contact with Trevor Lawrence, then tried to 1-v-55 the Jaguars roster.
Arden Key with an unnecessary hit on his old QB and Anton Harrison doesnt like it. pic.twitter.com/yo7MiAvdq7
— Fitz (@LaurieFitzptrck) November 30, 2025
I totally understand why Jacksonville didn’t want Arden in their locker room.
The “Wait, How Do You Still Work Here?” Award: Kevin Stefanksi
In 6 seasons as the Cleveland Browns head coach, Kevin Stefanski has a 44-54 record.
Two 11-win seasons and 4 below .500 disasters.
Cleveland won 3 games last season and headed right back to another phenomenal 3-win finish.
The Browns fumbled twice in the second half, rookie tight end Harold Fannin Jr. put in on the turf and rookie punt returner Gage Larvadain dropped the pig.
The 49ers immediately scored on both turnovers—beating Cleveland 26-8 in one of the yuckiest games of the day.
I know many of these Browns players are rookies, including Shedeur Sanders—who played fine today—149 passing yards and an early touchdown pass—but these young players are high draft picks. There’s talent on the roster. Myles Garrett is the best pass rusher ever.
How many chances does Kevin Stefanski get to fail before the Browns start flirting with Lane Kiffin next?
Biggest Winner: AJ Brown
HURTS TO A.J. BROWN FOR THE TD 🚀🔥
(Via @NFL)pic.twitter.com/VCOJAisatg
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) November 28, 2025
Here’s what AJ Brown did against the Chicago Bears on Amazon’s Black Friday game:
- 10 catches
- 132 yards
- 2 touchdowns
Yes, the Philadelphia Eagles lost 15-24 but that’s a problem for everyone in Philly except Brown. Jalen Hurts, up at night, staring at the walls of his mansion. AJ Brown, up at night, celebrating his individual performance, popping bottles, having the night of his life.
AJ had his best statistical game of the season. The rest of the team is losers. AJ Brown had a great Thanksgiving weekend.
Biggest Loser: Patrick Mahomes
Without looking it up, Patrick Mahomes has played in the last 13 Super Bowls.
From the moment he was given the keys to the Chiefs Kingdom, Mahomes was given an automatic bye to the Finals.
And after Kansas City’s 28-31 loss to the Dallas Cowboys on Thanksgiving, the Chiefs fell to 6-6, 3rd place in the AFC West, fighting for the final playoff spot with
The greatest quarterback of all time is about to miss the playoffs while having one of his best seasons in years.
Thanks for reading. Let me know what storylines you’re thinking about heading into Week 14. Or even better, reach out and send some of those storylines and I’ll tap in and write about it. Hit up ya boy on social media: Facebook. Twitter. Bluesky. Instagram.
Or shoot me an email (I refresh that thing no less than a million times a day) Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com.
Next up to read: Michael Penix Jr Tore His ACL (Again), What To Make of His NFL Future?
