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NFL Week 11 Awards

From the Jacksonville Jaguars getting brutally bludgeoned by the Lions to Brock Bowers being a huge dork, here are your NFL Week 11 awards

nfl week 11

So I missed the NFL Week 10 Awards last week because I woke up Sunday morning in the back of an ambulance.

Kinda missed the 1pm slate of games, if you can imagine.

But I am back, full of medications and thankfully, the New York Giants had a bye week so I could enjoy a full day of football without the anxiety of watching Daniel Jones throw a 3rd and long pass to a receiver 1-yard shy of the first down all game long.

Anyway, let’s give out some NFL Week 11 Awards.

The Disaster Class Award: Jacksonville Jaguars

nfl week 11

Jacksonville Jaguars GM, Trent Baalke, came into Sunday with a 30-63 win-loss record since taking over in 2021.

Objectively one of the worst GMs in NFL history.

One of the greatest QB prospects landed in his lap, and Baalke has surrounded Trevor Lawrence with losers.

Top-to-bottom scrubs.

You know who else hired their GM in 2021? The Detroit Lions.

Brad Holmes is 33-27, including a 12-5 season last year and a 9-1 record this year.

The Lions have the best record in the NFL and just treated the Jaguars the way Donald Trump treats a bag of McDonalds.

The Lions won 52-6. Detroit didn’t punt once. Their kicker, Jake Bates, punched in SEVEN extra points.

The Jaguars scored 0 touchdowns. They rushed for 41 yards. They recorded 0 sacks on Jared Goff.

With Trevor Lawrence nursing an injury, this was Mac Jones’s time to revive his NFL career.

And then he threw this disgusting interception into double coverage.

The Lions and Jags started their rebuild at the same time but Detroit had an actual plan. They’re stronger than you and they want to score BUCKETS.

The Jaguars are 53 guys who all happen to wear the same jersey but this isn’t a football team. This feels like court-mandated community service.

The “You Shouldn’t Waste Draft Picks on Place Kickers” Award: Evan McPherson

nfl week 11

I’m not one of those guys who believes kickers should be flawless with 100% field goal percentages.

Kicking looks unbelievably difficult when you factor in the snap, the hold, the defenders rushing in to block it, the wind, the rain, the distance, the pressure—nah, kicking in the NFL is a nightmare.

I’d rather work the mines.

Which is why NFL teams should never waste a draft pick on a kicker.

They’re going to miss.

When it hurts the most.

Always.

There is a minuscule difference between the best kicker in the NFL and the worst and that big difference is their thoughts on women’s roles in society —my point is, the Bengals used a 2021 5th-round pick to select Evan McPherson and they might as well have forfeited the pick.

nfl week 11

Shout out to the Bengals social media team spending the last few seasons patting themselves on the back for drafting a kicker and calling the local paper to make sure they report on how unbothered they are by their decision.

But Evan McPherson is the reason Cincinnati still has 4 wins after their 34-27 loss to the Los Angeles Chargers of San Diego on Sunday night.

Joe Burrow got sacked 3 times and hit 14 TIMES. Maybe Cincinnati should’ve used that 5th round pick on an offensive lineman capable of keeping pass rusher’s hands off Burrow.

The Biggest Fucking Dork Award: Brock Bowers

nfl week 11

I know Travis Kelce is dating generic pop star #1 and George Kittle is selling you Little Ceasar’s pizzas every 15 minutes but rookie Brock Bowers may already be the best tight end in football—finishing Las Vegas’s loss to the Dolphins with 13 receptions for 126 yards and a touchdown.

But we have to talk about his touchdown celebration.

My man hit the Donald Trump shimmy celly.

Sure.

Not the biggest deal in the world to me but I understand people feeling a way about it.

Thankfully, Bowers was given an opportunity to explain further after the game.

USA Today’s Safid Deen asked Bowers about the dance. Here’s his response:

“I’ve seen everyone do it. I watched the UFC fight last night and Jon Jones did it. I like watching UFC so I saw it, and thought it was cool.”

Apparently, the Raiders then pulled Bowers from media availability.

This isn’t the first time this has happened this season. Nick Bosa celebrated a 49ers win by rushing in front of a camera to show off his MAGA hat and when asked about it, Bosa was coy and weird about his feelings towards Trump.

Instead of saying “I voted for Trump, I am a fan”, Brock Bowers lied and said he just happened to catch a glimpse of UFC over the weekend and people were doing the Trump dance.

Ok.

Trump supporters are never beating the loser allegations.

And I’m not shitting on people who voted for Trump. We’re humans. We make bad decisions all the time. I get milk in my coffee every morning even though I’m, like, 101% sure I’m lactose intolerant.

I don’t hate anyone for voting for Trump. Propaganda works. That’s why they keep making it.

But it’s the fans.

The MAGA dorks who purchase the merch and do the silly little dances. There is nothing lamer than being a diehard fan of a fucking politician—especially this one who very clearly doesn’t give a shit whether any of us live or die.

It’s not just their strange love for Trump—it’s their love combined with their reluctance to speak on it.

If someone scored a touchdown and did some sort of recognizable Kamala Harris dance, I bet that player would have no problem speaking about it in the post-game press conference. They’d probably be proud, even though, again, it’s lame to be a superfan of politicians.

It’s as if some Trump fans know they don’t have a good reason for liking that man outside of the fact that it pisses off the people they don’t like.

There are so many people whose political beliefs boil down to just making sure they’re always on the opposite of “woke” or “political correctness” or “affirmative action” or “critical race theory” or “DEI” or whatever new buzzword the Fox News think tanks manufacture to rile up folks who just want to troll and mock others.

Like I said, voting for Trump is one thing. Stupid as hell but again, we all make bad decisions.

Being a Trump meat-rider and then playing dumb about it is the LAAAAAAAAMEST shit in the world.

If you have to pretend to not be a Trump supporter maybe you shouldn’t be a Trump supporter.

Like, if you have to sneak around and hide the girl you’re dating because you think she’s ugly, maybe uh, just find a girl you’re proud to be seen with.

You dorks don’t have to live like this.

The Most Disgusting Fit Award: Tony Romo’s son

The split Josh Allen/Patrick Mahomes jersey is nasty, brother.

I’m not one of those guys who’s concerned about the youth and the future of this country but if we don’t stomp this out now, a generation of fans who think this type of behavior is okay will grow.

I still think about the guy I saw this summer wearing a split Mets/Yankees jersey to the Subway Series. I pray he fell in front of one of those subways on his way home.

We are trying to have a society out here and Tony Romo’s bitch ass son is burning it all to the ground.

Tony Romo’s son is also the runner-up for the “Biggest Fucking Dork Award” too.

Biggest Winner: Josh Allen

nfl week 11

I can be cynical and say the Bills always beat the Chiefs in the regular season before inevitably losing to them in the playoffs.

We’ve seen this movie before.

Buffalo got the 30-21 victory over Kansas City this Sunday but I don’t know, this feels different.

That 26-yard touchdown run by Josh Allen to seal the win for the Bills was different.

Although Kansas City came into the game undefeated, it didn’t feel like the Chiefs were the best team in the NFL. There are chinks in the armor and the AFC, specifically, looks wide open in a way it really hasn’t during the Mahomes era.

The Kansas City Chiefs flew into Buffalo and got dipped in lemon pepper.

But what stood out to me most is how in control Josh Allen looked, even with an interception. Allen led the team in rushing with 55 yards and a touchdown while throwing for 262 yards and another touchdown.

This feels like the season Josh Allen finally wins an MVP trophy and maybe even makes a Super Bowl.

OR

The Bills beat the Chiefs in the regular season and will lose in the playoffs, as is tradition.

Biggest Loser: Lamar Jackson

nfl week 11

While Josh Allen put on a Herculean effort, Perseus slaying the Gorgon-type beat, Lamar Jackson had the opportunity to give Russell Wilson’s Pittsburgh Steelers a reality check—establishing Baltimore as the class of the AFC North and a true Super Bowl contender.

But Lamar Jackson is a loser.

As long as I live, I will never forget Lamar Jackson playing like a weirdo in the Ravens AFC Championship loss to the Chiefs last year.

Lamar is the most dynamic quarterback I have ever witnessed. More so than Mike Vick or RGIII or any of these guys.

Sometimes, it really feels like he’s Neo in The Matrix capable of stopping bullets, the way he dodges what would normally be routine tackles against any other QB.

However, it feels as though Lamar has internalized all of the outside criticism—he’s a running back or he’s injury prone or he can’t throw in the pocket—and has totally redesigned his game to the point he plays as if someone kidnapped his mother before the coin toss and threatened to put a bullet through her ears if Lamar dares to run past the line of scrimmage.

His greatest asset is his ability to avoid tackles and he’s refusing to use his best strength so that he can make NFL podcasters happy.

HOW MANY TIMES DOES A PASS HAVE TO BOUNCE OFF ZAY FLOWERS’S FACE BEFORE LAMAR STOPS TRYING TO BE TOM BRADY AND REALIZES HE IS THE MOST TALENTED PLAYER ON THE TEAM AND HE SHOULD BE TAKING THE BALL HIMSELF?

And his reluctance to make big plays becomes even more glaring at 7pm when Josh Allen runs through the Chiefs defense to singlehandedly win the game for his team.

Josh wasn’t worried about getting injured or hypothetical narratives about him not being a pocket passer.

Josh Allen wanted to win.

That’s it.

None of that other shit should matter.

Lamar Jackson is a loser. Congrats on proving how good you are in the pocket though. Personally, I’d rather have a championship ring than like, Colin Cowherd’s respect but whatever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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