Hey Linda Holliday...Sup? - Deadseriousness

Terrible news for those who love love. Bill Belichick and his long-term womanfriend, Linda Holliday are breaking up. The power couple has been dominating the NFL since 2007 and unfortunately, it appears they are in the midst of a brutal breakup.

Bad news for them.

Fantastic news for someone like me who appreciates an aged wine. My DMs are open if/when Linda is ready to date someone who won’t talk about their ex in every conversation.

And speaking of Bill’s ex, Tom Brady is set to be honored at Gillette Stadium for the Patriots season opener against the Eagles this Sunday. Belichick isn’t the first man to break up with his lady when his ex was coming to town. And he won’t be the last.

As far as the football side of this breakup goes, this will turn Belichick into even more of a sicko now that he doesn’t have to deal with like, giving another human attention.

He’s going to be locked in a dark room watching film of Mac Jones’s 1-yard screen passes all game long.

While this newly gained free time inevitably propels New England back to the Super Bowl, someone has to think about sweet, sweet Linda.

I know Linda runs the Bill Belichick Foundation which will make this split way messier than it needs to be but I’m here to support her if she needs a friend to open up to. My phone is always on.

If Linda Holliday needs a shoulder to cry on, I’m here.

I can also help sort out her daily medications. If she needs someone to drive her to her colonoscopies, I’m available.

She can hand me her phone to read texts when she can’t find her tiny little old lady reading glasses.

Deadseriousness can’t afford to fly you around to Nantucket or the Kentucky Derby but there’s a FIRE taco spot down the road. It’s a little bit of a younger crowd but I know the owner. I can get them to change the Patriots game on the TV over to Murder, She Wrote for you.

Hey, Linda Holliday….sup?