Life Must Be So Easy and Carefree For Bianca Censori

Life is hard. We have to make a million little micro decisions every day and then we have to get up and do it all again the next. This article is the third draft I started this morning because I couldn’t decide what to write about first. Bianca Censori never has to worry about that.

Can you imagine how stressful it must feel getting ready to show up to the Grammys red carpet? The biggest musical event of the year surrounded by all of the greatest artists and creators and curators on the planet.

It would take me hours to decide which of my two ties I should wear.

Which is why I’m so jealous of Bianca Censori—the 30-year Italian-Australian who busted her ass to get a master’s degree in architecture and is now using that degree to design Kanye West’s ugly sneakers and hoodies.

Thanks to her loving, caring husband, Kanye West—Bianca Censori no longer has to worry about making decisions on what to wear or where to eat or possibly any decisions at all.

Here she is with Kanye arriving at the 2025 Grammys:

kanye west bianca censori pic.twitter.com/JVvFtIuH7J

— Celebrity Posts (@celebposts1907) February 3, 2025

What a lucky woman.

It was originally reported that the police escorted Kanye and Bianca from the premises but later we found out nope, they walked the red carpet, took some boobies out and then casually got in Kanye’s car and left.

I know some people want to experience the glitz and glamor of the Grammys—especially if they were married to someone nominated for best rap song of the year—and it may appear Bianca Censori was used as a pervy prop Kanye used to give a middle finger to a concert hall full of people he makes uncomfortable but I feeeeel you, Bianca. I, too, hate small talk and pleasantries and being covered in Chappell Roan’s foundation.

Bianca Censori is living her best life.

I’m sure this is what she always wanted—to be the muse of an XVideos-addicted schizophrenic and prohibited from leaving the house with a top on, doing only what Kanye tells her—like when Kanye told her that he wanted to make her watch him bang her mother.

What a perfect life.

You get to travel the globe with your partner who is always one sip of alcohol from calling his ex-wife crying or threatening to murder/suicide everyone in the room with him—and you never have to worry about paying for anything, you just, ya know, need to get Kanye’s permission first.

One time at work, I spilled red Gatorade all over my shirt and just had to wear a red Gatorade shirt all day. Bianca doesn’t even have to worry about shirts at all.

I pray one day I get to live a life similar to hers, a life where every time you see a photo or video of me, I’m butt ass naked looking like an emotionless sex robot programmed to march the streets like some sort of European robocop.

Goals.

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