thelesterlee
Joe Biden is 9,430,104 years old, born on Pangea. His first pet was a dodo bird.
After 4 years of wandering around the White House, talking to himself while his dogs were biting anyone who made eye contact with him—and then deciding to RUN FOR PRESIDENT AGAIN—despite the svelte man in the black coak holding a schythe, always hovering over his shoulder—Joe Biden may finally occupy the grave sit his family could’ve sworn his bones would be rotting in by now.
Former President Joe Biden was diagnosed with an “aggressive form” of prostate cancer, according to a statement from his personal office Sunday, and it has spread to his bones.
“Last week, President Joe Biden was seen for a new finding of a prostate nodule after experiencing increasing urinary symptoms. On Friday, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, characterized by a Gleason score of 9 (Grade Group 5) with metastasis to the bone,” the statement said. (Source)
Guys, we’re so close.
This geriatric, sundowning, narcissistic, Islamophobic, Frankenstein’s monster of political jargon and old segregation stories—whose selfishness and ego directly led to the return of Donald Trump—will be dead soon.
And I want to make it clear why I hate Joe Biden and why he will never receive sympathy from me because I recognize this comes off cruel or whatever.
Yes, his main character syndrome helped Donald Trump return to office but I actually blame his staff and family for using him.
From everything I read, it sounds like Biden was gaslit by everyone around him into believing he was capable of doing the most important job in the world, when in reality, he was a cancer-filled corpse that leeches were feeding off to maintain their cushy DC jobs and keep their reservations at their favorite DC restaurants.
I doubt Biden even knew where he was for most of his presidency.
I know Joe Biden is a hardcore Zionist who never once even attempted to pressure Israel into a ceasefire or any sort of peaceful resolution in Gaza but he’s an elderly, lifelong consumer of Israeli propaganda. No one in American politics can exist without kissing Israel’s ring. The oldest man on Earth wasn’t about to change that.
So why am I excited to see Joe Biden finally die?
1 out of every 10 Americans are without health insurance.
Joe Biden once said he’d veto Medicare For All if it ever crossed his desked, claiming it was too “expensive”, and now he’s receiving some of the best and most expensive cancer treatment—while millions of Americans don’t even have access to a physician for a prostate screening, let alone the level of care he’s getting.
Joe Biden’s own son died of brain cancer and he’d still rather play politics and talk budgets and debts than fight for Americans’ rights to medicine.
Everyone born upon this wretched Earth should have access to doctors.
We are the richest country in the world but also the most selfish—where people recoil at the idea of having to help fund some imaginary jobless, hippie freeloaders, undeserving of the healthcare they believe should only be granted to the hardest working people.
I would rather 10,000 people who do not need our social services get them than allow one (1). single. person. who needs them go without.
Coming out of a global pandemic, where thousands upon thousands of Americans were dying, hospitals running out of locations to store their dead bodies, Joe Biden put his food down to declare he would never give us universal health care because it’s expensive.
Fuck Joe Biden. I’m sure he’ll die in the most comfortable hospital bed. Good for him.
If you enjoyed what you read, head over to our Substack. We’ve got more content making fun of the ridiculous world we live in, sent directly to your email inbox daily.
Follow us over on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings