In 2005, at age 31, Jake Plummer—one of my favorite QBs back in the day—an OG gunslinger who I imagine used to jog into the huddle on first down and say—”watch me throw this football over them mountains”—had the best season of his NFL career.
After getting the wind knocked out of them in a 24-49 beat down by the Indianapolis Colts in the Wild Card Round—and following a regular season where he led the NFL with 20 interceptions (the 2nd time in his career he’d lead the league in INTs)—Plummer had a now-or-never moment of clarity in the offseason—coming back to lead Denver to a 13-3 record—the no. 2 seed —and a run to an AFC Championship loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers—the inevitable champions.
And I think those ’05 Broncos would’ve dragged the Seahawks if they made it to the Super Bowl.
Like, Matt Hasselbeck was never going to win a chip.
But, unfortunately, the Broncos didn’t win that AFC Championship game.
So Denver traded up in the 2006 NFL Draft to select Plummer’s replacement—Jay Cutler, out of Vanderbilt.
After peaking in ’05, Plummer came back and played like a guy who knew his time was coming to an end—eventually being benched for rookie Jay Cutler.
Cutler would go on to have to blah, mediocre seasons before Denver gave up on him—trading him to the Chicago Bears.
Jay made one NFC Championship game in 2010—losing to division rival Packers—but ultimately, Jay was an underachieving brat—who his teammates, to this day—still criticize for being a bad leader and an overall asshole.
Follwowing a strange 2017 season that started with him shaking a Fox’s execs hand—agreeing to join their broadcast team—before he got back to his car and and his agent called with a 1-year $10 million offer from the Miami Dolphins (he sucked that season and should’ve just stolen Fox’s money instead)—Cutler finally stepped away from football with a 74-79 win-loss record and all of the Chicago Bears passing records—which isn’t that impressive when you consider all of their previous QBs were dogshit.
Jay Cutler was a starting quarterback in the NFL for 12 years.
He has to spend 4 days of his life in prison and nobody cares.
Cutler pleaded guilty to one charge of driving under the influence, according to WSMV. As a result of his plea deal, a weapon possession charge he was initially hit with was dismissed — though Cutler will forfeit the gun in question. He will spend four days in jail, which he will do next month, and pay a $350 fine, among other things.
Very unique plea deal here.
4 days for a DUI is kinda nuts.
Did Jay Cutler use a public defender? And if so, I wonder how many coffee-stained napkins are under that guy’s car seat.
I didn’t write this to make fun of someone having a rough week.
No one should have to spend time behind bars—especially if they didn’t hurt another person.
But again, Jay Cutler was a starting NFL QB for 12 years.
He’s the greatest quarterback in Chicago Bears history.
And this story just came and went.
I remember when Steve McNair’s girlfriend murdered him. It was breaking news on every channel, not just ESPN.
Every news outlet spent the day reporting on the event.
It was a big deal.
If the same thing happened in 2025, it’d be out of the news cycle by the end of the day—swept under the rug by Snoop Dogg going on a radio show—to say he didn’t like the movie Lightyear because a lesbian couple had a baby—and he didn’t want to explain to his grandchildren how that was possible—immediately followed by an avalanche of bigots rushing to defend him.
I understand why old players yap on podcasts now
It’s hard not to side-eye all these former ball players turned podcasters.
These guys made millions of dollars.
There is no way they need these monthly $10,000 checks from DraftKings that badly.
Most of these cats don’t even take podcasting seriously—intentionally saying nonsense they know will go viral and acting as these villains for no reason outside of wanting attention.
While I’ll never praise these dorks for being irresponsible with their platforms—I can at least understand why these losers want microphones and cameras in their face.
In an era where we wake up every morning with Tabula Rasa, total blank slates—filling our brains with whatever the algorithms happen to serve us when we first check our phones—it makes sense for these former players to want their legacies to remain in our collective consciousness.
Of course Rashad McCants wants to be seen every day. He was one of the best college basketball players of his era and his entire life’s work was erased from our memories. If he wasn’t sitting next to Gilbert Arenas, vomiting up uninformed opinions daily, would anyone under the age of 30 have any inkling of how impressive he was at North Carolina?
Of course AJ Hawk always sits in his house, blank-faced—zooming into the Pat McAfee show—occasionally laughing at jokes that would get crickets in any other venue.
AJ Hawk doesn’t have a thing to say. He just wants to be seen, remembered.
He recorded 100+ tackles 5 times in his career.
Made an All-Star team.
Knowing the careers of guys like AJ Hawk was the bare minimum back in the day.
And if he wasn’t on the Pat McAfee Show, he’d be removed from history.
Historical context is gone
Did you read all the context I gave about Jay Cutler before mentioning his arrest? That’s fucking gone..
Growing up, it was mandatory to dive shoulder deep into your interests.
We weren’t even allowed to become Yankees without a pilgrimage to Thurman Munson’s crash site.
I watched Jake Plummer hit Rod Smith in the hands on 3rd and 8 once and I was Clockwork Orange-ing myself through every 1998 Broncos snap.
Do you know many way-too-long Jimmy Page guitar solos I listened to because I heard Ramble On on the radio once?
And this was before streaming.
Back when every other Limewire download was that one Bill Clinton clip. You know the one.
You could not properly digest what you were consuming until you understood the full context.
ESPN had hours of programming dedicated to making you the smartest sports fan they could.
It was a functional business model.
Hey, we have a ton of live sports.
We should make our viewers care about them.
The US Open is this week, cool—let’s spend the day talking about Jimmy Connors and Bjorn Borg so our audience has a full scope of the importance and prestige of this event.
It’s not even like I want wall-to-wall Jay Cutler DUI coverage. I didn’t forget how they used to treat (oftentimes black) players when they were in legal trouble. I’m not asking for everyone to dunk on Jay Cutler or to call him a thug or whatever.
But Brett Favre—one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time—stole millions of tax dollars from the poorest city in the United States—and it was hardly a news story—quickly replaced on our timelines by some porn star sleeping with a hundred dudes in a day or Elon Musk getting a hundredth woman pregnant.
A former NFL All-Star QB is going to jail and nobody gives a shit.
Fine, Carmelo Anthony can keep lying about his career on that lame podcast. Our sports legends are disappearing from our brains. I guess they can lie and exaggerate and passionately debate games they don’t watch.
This place sucks.
Thanks for reading.
Let me know if you also think this Jay Cutler DUI arrest is about to turn him into the most annoying right-wing grifter we’ve ever seen. Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
