As a proud New York Giants sicko, I was doing some quiet Daniel Jones research and remembered that Dwayne Haskins was projected to have a better career than Jones—hilarious considering I had to then Google Haskins just to see if he were still on an NFL roster.
He appears to be a Pittsburgh Steeler.
Ok.
Before I make fun of Haskins for having no idea how to throw a football, it’s necessary to add context to his failures.
After starting just one season at Ohio State, Haskins was immediately thrown into the starting role for the Washington Football Team.
After a hectic rookie season, Washington hired Ron Rivera as the new head coach and Rivera never once made it seem as though he wanted Haskins on his roster—rightfully so.
In 13 games as a starter, Haskins threw for 2,804 with 12 touchdowns and 14 interceptions.
He completed only 60% of his passes.
Oh, and Washington was 3-10 in those 13 starts.
You can’t blame the Washington roster for lacking talent—they made the playoffs last season with Alex Smith wheelchairing around the pocket.
Meanwhile, Ben Roethlisberger has been battling injuries and his insatiable desire to throw interceptions.
In his absence, Mason Rudolph proved he was not deserving to be the next Steelers QB. There’s also a 90% chance he called Myles Garrett a racial slur before getting his head smashed in with his own helmet.
So can Dwayne Haskins replace Ben Roethlisberger?
Here’s what Big Ben had to say about Haskins:
“I was just telling [quarterbacks] Coach Sully [Mike Sullivan] the other day that his release and throwing motion mechanics are some of the prettiest I have ever seen,” Roethlisberger said during OTAs. “I told him I wish I had that. I joked that he could throw it through a car wash, and it wouldn’t get wet.”
So uh, apparently Haskins can throw a ball through a car wash without getting the ball wet. That very common expression you hear every day that’s being said by a man who is known for his kindness and willingness to compliment others.
I don’t believe a word that Roethlisberger says especially looking at the rest of the depth chart. Mason Rudolph and Josh Dobbs are still very much in that quarterback room and have been for quite some time.
Unless Haskins goes off in some joint practice, he might not even make the final roster.
It’s annoying that white quarterbacks can be mediocre and last a decade as a backup but black quarterbacks are banished from the league. Mason Rudolph will have a longer career than Dwayne Haskins. If that didn’t make your stummy hurt then you might have a future in an NFL front office.
If you enjoyed what you read, head over to our Substack. We’ve got more content making fun of the ridiculous world we live in, sent directly to your email inbox daily.
Follow us over on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.