Turns Out Random Guy From The Bill Simmons Podcast Isn't Very Good At Running an NBA Team

For the second year in a row, the Dallas Mavericks season is ended by the Los Angeles Clippers but this season felt different. Last year, the Clippers were title favorites and the postseason occurred in a bubble that no one had ever experienced before. This year, the Clippers were vulnerable and Luka Doncic looked like the best player in the Western Conference.

The problem was that everyone else in Mavericks jerseys looked as if they had never played basketball before and won some lottery or signed up for Dallas Mavs fantasy camp.

So it should surprise no one to read the new report that Luka hates the Mavericks front office, and more specifically, Haralabos Voulgaris.

Here is an excerpt that perfectly describes the relationship between Doncic and Voulgaris:

Voulgaris, sitting with an open laptop in his typical courtside seat across from the Mavericks’ bench, motioned downward with his hands, which Doncic specifically interpreted as Voulgaris telling him to calm down, multiple team and league sources tell The Athletic. Doncic snapped back, telling Voulgaris, according to one source’s recollection, “Don’t fucking tell me to calm down.” The same sources say Voulgaris later professed that his motion wasn’t solely directed at Doncic, but regardless of intent, it only worsened an already inflamed relationship between the two.

Haralabos Voulgaris gained notoriety as a random guy who got rich from gambling on NBA games before becoming a recurring guest on the Bill Simmons podcast. He used that ‘credibility’ of winning NBA bets and created an analytics model that Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban, decided was worth hiring him as a consultant.

But due to his close relationship with Cuban, Voulgaris had far too much power than he deserved considering uh, he was just some random dude who was one bad bet away from being a degenerate loser that no one would’ve ever heard of besides his AA buddies down at the local church.

Haralabos Voulgaris had the power to set starting lineups and went as far as selecting the 2020 first-round draft picks without consulting the rest of the front office. No idea why the organization granted him all that power knowing he was just good at parlays and friends with Bill Simmons.

Shocking that Mark Cuban would run such a wild front office. Sure, there were reports a couple years ago that the Mavs were run like a frat house with used condoms and random porn playing on the computers and sexual harassment left and right but who knew that would extend to player personnel decisions and random gamblers just telling the team’s head coach how to coach?

This is my favorite Voulgaris quote: “The whole process (of becoming a highly successful gambler) has led me to believe that I’d be able to put together a better team than almost any general manager in the league. If not maybe all.”

My success at a completely unrelated task gives me the wild overconfidence to believe that I could be the best at a job I’m not even close to qualified for. I will prove that by acquiring Kristaps fucking Porzingis.

Mark Cuban is determined to have the most disgusting front office in the NBA and there’s honestly a 50% chance that he reads this article and hires me as the new head scout for the team. I will be on the sidelines telling Luka Doncic to iso while I have my laptop open and AirPods in my ears streaming Knicks games.

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