It wasn’t that long ago I was HYPED for the Yankees 2025 pitching rotation.
They signed 2-time All-Star and World Series Champ, Max Fried, to an 8-year, $218 million deal.
The Yankees had such a great rotation, they were letting Marcus Stroman’s phone calls go right to voicemail.
That’s over.
Pitchers and catchers reported like, 2 weeks ago.
We’ve barely approached opening day and the New York Yankees lost 2024 AL Rookie of the Year, Luis Gil for at least 3 months—and now their Ace, Gerrit Cole, will miss the entire 2025 campaign recovering from Tommy John Surgery.
*Takes a shot of Cope*
This Gerrit Cole Tommy John surgery may be the best thing that ever happened to the Yankees.
It’s always good when your 34-year-old pitcher needs a new elbow.
*Finishes full bottle of Cope*
New York going from the World Series to missing the playoffs for the second time in 3 years could lead to word traveling up to the loud voices in sports who don’t follow baseball anymore—the Stephen A’s, the Bill Simmons’s, the Nick Wright’s—to start shitting on this organization to their audience of millions—applying pressure on the Steinbrenners to finally move on from the fossils who still work there from the Clinton Administration and modernize their franchise—and more specifically, find a training/medical staff that keeps players on the field.
Replacing Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone could be the secret weapon to a 2026 World Series Championship.
*Puts loaded gun on table*
A down Yankees season might destroy the AL East from within. Walk with me here. Look at the Boston Red Sox whose clubhouse chemistry is hanging on by a thread thanks to Rafael Devers refusing to DH upon the arrival of Alex Bregman, a man who literally just won a Gold Glove at third base.
Let Boston beat up on the Yankees a little bit—tricking themselves into believing everything’s good and dandy.
Then 2026, the Yankees are a fully re-tooled death machine—shattering the Red Sox, causing an emotional tailspin where players stop biting their tongues and reveal what they really feel about each other and we get reports about Alex Cora breaking up batting cages brawls.
*Puts gun in mouth*
Gerrit Cole, the man with the most strikeouts since 2018 who just had a 6 inning, 6 strikeouts, 0 ER outing in the World Series, isn’t even that big of a deal.
The team will be fine.
Let’s be positive. The Yankees can overcome this.
5 Ways the New York Yankees overcome this Gerrit Cole Tommy John Surgery
1. Clarke Schmidt and Will Warren become Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling
According to Stuff+, Clarke Schmidt had the no. 1 ranked knuckle curve among all pitchers with 85+ innings. There’s a pitcher on the staff with Aaron Nola potential.
So far in Spring Training, Will Warren has allowed 1 earned run and 2 just hits in 8 innings with 11 strikeouts.
He’s won both his starts.
The Yankees traded Michael King to the Padres for Juan Soto because they had Michael King at home.
Gerrit Cole going down forces Clarke Schmidt and Will Warren to decide if they want to become MLB stars or just long relievers who bounce around to 8-12 teams over the course of their meaningless, annoying careers.
2. Carlos Carrasco resurrection
Carlos Carrasco is 37 years old and has put up an ERA above 6 in 3 of his last 4 seasons but with modern medicine and the right motivation, perhaps Carrasco can turn the clock 7 years back to when he led the AL in wins with Cleveland.
Just, uh, do not watch his last start against the Diamondbacks where he gave up 2 homers, 4 runs total, walked 2 batters and couldn’t make it out of the 5th inning.
That was 5 months ago.
Get him on whatever Giancarlo Stanton takes and he’ll be an Ace again.
3. Unleash the Schlitter
The Yankees have a top prospect named Cam Schlitter who may have superstar potential in him to one day become one of the GOATs.
And I swear I’m not just hyping him up because his name is Cam Schlitter—although if his name was Kevin Johnson, I would not know his name. So.
4. Aaron Judge breaks the single-season home run record…again
Look, all the Yankees need to get back to the World Series is for Aaron Judge to hit homers every single day. Honestly, it’s selfish if he doesn’t, like, what are you saving them for? A single up the middle? Narcissism. Convince Aaron Judge that he is required to exclusively hit bombs and his 112 homers might save this team.
5. Cody Bellinger and Paul Goldschmidt are MVPs
At one point in the not-so-distant past, Cody Bellinger and Paul Goldschmidt were the best baseball players in the world.
Paul Goldschmidt is Carlos Carrasco’s age and the Dodgers ditched Cody Bellinger to focus on their web era but perhaps the competitive spirit will awaken a comeback within them.
Watching hitters bat around like tee ball every 5 days when Marcus Stroman goes out there could bring out the MVPs in these greats.
The Yankees will be juuuust fine without Gerrit Cole and actually, this is Tommy John surgery is the best case scenario.
*Pulls trigger*
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