Free Bri From Too Hot To Handle Season 6

Too Hot Too Handle is one of my favorite dating shows where 10 sociopaths go to an island expecting to hump everyone in their line of sight, only to find out hooking up is against the rules.

It’s an interesting examination of how even the best-looking people in our society can still be overwhelmingly disgusting perverts.

In season 6, we meet Bri, a 26-year-old model from Atlanta who, like every girl when they walk on set, brags about how much she loves sleeping with boys.

Upon walking out to the no-sex house, she immediately pulls Demari to the side for herself. Moments later, Chris walks out and Bri sticks to him like a magnet, as if she had never met Demari at all.

Season 6 of Too Hot To Handle has some new wrinkles, including a “Bad’ Lana, who permits them to hook up the first day so naturally, Bri makes out with Chris in the bathroom and then Demari down at the beach, out of sight from Chris.

Damn! I picked Bri who arrived in the villa after 2 girls…5 girls later, still Bri – now out of 5 she is little, but THE HOTTEST of all! Only just vs Kaylisha! Those eyes and her voice are out of this world! She looks a bit like Demi Sutra 🤣 #toohottohandle pic.twitter.com/98azxiGdDo

— markkimbo (@markbecks8) July 19, 2024

Later that night at their first party, they meet the real Lana, who tells them she was watching them break the rules all day and decided Bri, along with 21-year-old Charlie from the UK, were kicked out of the villa and forced into ‘banishment’ where they sat in a separate room fashioned to be a jail cell.

So Bad Lana told Bri the rules were off but she never said she wasn’t allowed to kiss two different guys. Doesn’t seem fair.

Bri, after 24 hours straight in a clockless room, returns, ready to apologize to Demari and work on their relationship.

The next day, Demari gets asked on a date by a newly arriving woman and Bri is forced to go BACK into banishment until his date finishes.

Not only does Bri have to once again sit in a prison cell, but the guy she likes goes on a date with Valentina—a woman who looks nothing like the typical girls cast for Too Hot To Handle and was specifically picked because it’s the exact type of girl Demari likes.

And Bri, after finally being released from banishment for the second time in as many days, has to sit there and watch Demari and Valentina walk back to the villa holding hands and giggling right in her face.

Valentia looks like some creep spent hours programming the horniest AI girl he could conceive of and somehow 3D printed her to life. She’s the Frankenstein’s monster for coomers.

And Bri, after finally being released from banishment for the second time in as many days, has to sit there and watch Demari and Valentina walk back to the villa holding hands right in her face.

So let me just recap Bri’s time on Too Hot To Handle season 6 one more time in case you guys aren’t understanding how shitty it’s been:

Bri takes off from work for a tropical vacation to meet hot guys and maybe get a boyfriend but also just to hook up with hot guys
Bad Lana gives her permission to hook up with guys with no consequences.
OG Lana pops up and says “lol JK there are consequences for YOU, Bri. Go sit in this jail cell for 24 hours and learn your lesson”
So while everyone’s drinking and getting to know each other—ya know, enjoying their vacations—Bri spends 24 hours with Charlie, staring at the walls.
She then has to beg Demari to forgive her for kissing Chris, even though they all just met each other and have no loyalty to anyone.
Demari gets picked to go on a date with Columbian Jessica Rabbit and for whatever reason, Bri has to go BACK to the prison cell until Demari decides his date is over.
Then she watches the boy she’s been emotionally programmed to like, hold hands with another woman as they awkwardly walk past her like she isn’t even there.

Sure, Bri seems like a superficial, overly sexual, neanderthal but THEY ALL DO.

No idea why she is exclusively being punished every day. She was tricked by Lana (the feds) and now she’s just another statistic, in and out of the carceral system.

FREE BRI *black fist emoji*

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What are your thoughts on Too Hot To Handle season 6 so far? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.