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Elon Musk is the Perfect Person To Purchase TikTok

An Elon Musk TikTok deal would not only save the app but save it from the woke, DEI, marxist algorithms China is shoving down our throats.

elon musk tiktok

America desperately needs an underdog to step up and fight for all of us who are tired of being censored on social media. Elon Musk is the beacon of hope guiding us into a brighter future.

Whether it’s by getting us to Mars or getting us in Dark Knight Batmobile-inspired trucks that look like they’d barbeque a child if they were left in the backseat on a hot day for longer than 30 seconds—Elon is leading is dragging humanity into the future.

Twitter was dying.

It had become a woke echo chamber before Elon Musk saved it, re-named it X and not only gave everyone access to the blue check mark but handed out money to blue check accounts that generate attention.

So now, finally, contrarian teenagers, conservative edge lords and mediocre-looking OnlyFans models can camp out in the comments sections saying flagrant, baby-brained bullshit for attention and maybe earn back the $8 they spent for that attention in the first place.

I hated logging onto Twitter and not seeing openly racist and bigoted comments.

I’d hate to wake up one morning sick, suffering from the woke mind virus. Happened to a buddy of mine. Sucker got the vaccine. Laugh out loud.

Thankfully, Elon Musk gave those people megaphones to amplify their lost message to the masses.

I shouldn’t even be privy to the “Great Replacement Theory” but thanks to Elon, some nonsense that wouldn’t have made it out of a tiny 4chan message board can now reach millions of people on any given day, exposing them to the Truth that they don’t want you to know.

Elon just gets what social media is for and now TikTok desperately needs our hero to swoop in and save it from the Chinese and most importantly, the woke Marxist left.

Most people think TikTok was a success because, unlike American social media, the app owned by a Chinese company understood the best way to retain users is to give them cool, interesting, funny, and new content instead of constantly shoving the same brands, influencers, BBLs and Ben Shapiro at people every time they refresh—like every other social media does.

But the real reason why TikTok was so successful was because China was hypnotizing the youth into becoming transexual sleeper agents ready to destroy the United States from within.

The Costco Guys are a CIA psyop. “We Bring The Boom” is a subliminal message—planting secret Chinese communist loyalties into our subconscious.

TikTok’s clock is ticking as the United States prepares to ban the app unless the company is owned and operated by an American.

We can’t have our American citizens getting all their data mined by the Chinese government—not while the US government is actively doing the same thing.

 

Why is Elon Musk the perfect person to own TikTok?

Elon is the smartest man alive.

He created the first hybrid car.

He’s on the precipice of creating new colonies in space.

It’s why he is so willing to spend millions upon millions of dollars on local elections across the country ensuring right-wingers always win.

These socialists ruining the country don’t want us into space. Elon is fighting for our species.

It’s why Elon has 12 children. He’s so smart that his sperm cannot be kept away from an ovum.

He’s creating super Musk soldiers raised by 3 women who want nothing to do with him because they aren’t smart enough to realize that what they call abuse and manipulation is actually Musk’s way of preparing the human race for our next evolution.

TikTok has become a cesspool for leftist, trans DEI pedophiles to gather and spread anti-Trump conspiracies.

Meanwhile, the real truth-tellers—the ones who aren’t afraid to say “Hey, a black person is in a position of power. It must have been given to them by racial diversity initiatives as there is no possible way that a black person could possibly have earned anything on their own”—aren’t getting their voices spread the way they should.

Elon taking over TikTok finally amplifies those vital voices—expanding the marketplace of ideas to include, for once, the voice of the voiceless—the people who know that even though Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein were literally besties, it’s actually the Democrats who are all evil child molesters, not the guy who has decades of photos smiling like The Joker with his arm around the most notorious sex trafficker of the 21st century.

Plus, I trust Elon Musk with all of my data more than China, a country that has no direct effect on my daily life and that I shouldn’t even spend any of my free time thinking about.

Please save TikTok and make it just like Twitter is now. I’m sure there wouldn’t be a mass exodus as users are weirded out, constantly scrolling past conspiracy theories that can be solved by simply asking the conspiracy theorist “Who gives a fuck?”.

Save us, Elon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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