thelesterlee
Biggest storyline of the season
Bradley Stevens littlefingered Danny Ainge. He stole the GM job and immediately reshaped the roster in his own image by shipping out Kemba Walker to bring Al Horford back to Boston for some reason. He also brought back Enes Kanter. There is nothing Bad Stevens hates more than defensive rebounds.
Is new Celtics head coach, Ime Udoka, better than Brad Stevens who people once said they’d prefer to start a franchise with him as opposed to Finals MVP Giannis?
Key Players
Al Horford: This 35-year old scammer will be making $27 million to drink wine with his sister/roommate and GM Stevens after home losses to the Heat as they discuss life, family and basketball philosophy that Al is far too old to actually go out and physically execute.
Dennis Schroder: And on the other side of the fence, while Horford is Scrooge McDucking into his stolen cash, Schroder is one paycheck from living under a bridge after turning down the Lakers $84 million contract offer last season.
Jayson Tatum: The biggest improvement to Tatum’s game is his ability to draw fouls and get to the free throw line. Last season, he had a career-high 5.3 free throw attempts a game and based on offseason workout photos, Tatum has been exposed to Gamma radiation and will be Incredible Hulking through defenders this year.
Jayson Tatum is JACKED 😳 pic.twitter.com/55TfGhAkuD
— Main Team (@MainTeamSports) August 31, 2021
Jaylen Brown: When Jaylen isn’t saving the rain forest and speaking at Harvard, he’s scoring 21 points a game and locking down the opposing team’s best scorer.
Josh Richardson: In 2019, Richardson was the next man up. Solidifed himself as a 3 and D guy in Miami only to sign a huge deal with Philly and forget how to play basketball. Got traded to Dallas and was so bad that they didn’t even let him on the court. GM Stevens, good signing.
Payton Pritchard: Every Boston Celtics team needs their caucasian hero. Literally, like I’m pretty sure they legally cannot host games at the Garden unless the coach’s son is allowed to suit up and play at least 15 minutes a night.
How the Celtics can win the title
Jayson Tatum needs to win the MVP. On paper, this roster isn’t it. You don’t beat the Bucks and Nets unless you’re no. 1 guy can match a Giannis or Durant. Tatum can score and that’s cool but we’ve yet to see him truly make the talent around him play up to a higher level. Tatum needs to become both a scorer and a playmaker.
Also, if Boston wants to win then they need to cut Enes Kanter. Today.
