Dan Orlovsky is one of the best NFL analysts over at ESPN these days.
Masterfully breaking down and explaining what’s occurring on the field while still maintaining a level of entertainment—not falling into the typical ESPN schtick of having some incredibly annoying bias they think is funny or interesting, derailing the program like Mike Greenberg being a Jets fan or whatever Stephen A. Smith’s thing with the Dallas Cowboys is.
Oh, Dan Orlovsky is also nasty as hell and doesn’t clean himself well.
Question is:
How many times do you use a towel post shower till you throw it in laundry? I’m 30 times or so till it goes in
And no I agree but that air better be HOT
— Dan Orlovsky (@danorlovsky7) March 15, 2023
100%
attention for towel use? Lol
Most days I shower 2X a day and I probably throw my towel into the laundry every 2 weeks so I’d say 25-30 showers per towel. 100%
— Dan Orlovsky (@danorlovsky7) March 15, 2023
Ok.
Every day, people log into Twitter to type things about themselves no other human on Earth needs to know.
Using a towel 30 times before you throw it into a washing machine is some Great Depression stuff.
Like, that’s how you catch the fungus from The Last of Us.
This is something you do when you literally have no income or no idea when you’ll get the opportunity to shower again. How many towels are at Dan Orlovsky’s house? I use a towel once and then, ya know, get a new fucking towel.
This is what you do when you mess up the washing machine once by using too much detergent or something so your wife bans you from using it again and you protest by just never washing your shit. I hope things improve in the nasty ass Orlovsky household before someone gets Covid-20.
But this is why I like Dan Orlovsky. If this tweet came from someone like Kendrick Perkins then you would know it would just be a lie to go viral and get attention but no, Dan doesn’t behave that way. He truly believes that drying yourself with a dirty towel over and over and over and over is normal behavior.
Hopefully, he brings whatever brand new bacterial infection he’s cultivating to the Get Up set so we can rid ourselves of that garbage TV program where Mike Tannnenbaum— one of the worst GMs in the NFL history— gives his ‘expert’ analysis and explains what GMs should do as if he isn’t currently working in a front office by choice when we all know no team would ever hire him again. The man gave Vernon Gholston $20 million guaranteed and the kid never recorded a single sack for the team.
Anyway, everyone use new towels and wash used ones. You don’t have to live like Dan Orlovsky.
ESPN Desperately Needs You To Use This Sketchy Solitaire App
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