CM Punk vs. Jack Perry

Welcome to Vs, where we give perspectives to entities at war and in the end, we declare a winner.

Moments before the start of the biggest show in wrestling history, CM Punk and Jungle Boy Jack Perry got into a fist fight almost de-railing the entire event and almost certainly putting both of their careers into limbo as they serve an indefinite suspension.

Let’s see who won the war.

CM Punk

Last year at this exact same point in the calendar, CM Punk beat Jon Moxley for the AEW Championship.

Punk then used the post-event press conference to air ALL of his grievances including his anger at his former friend Colt Cabana as well as his hate of anyone who spread the rumors that he got Colt Cabana fired from AEW.

(Even though Tony Khan very clearly removed Cabana from TV when Punk arrived so sure, Punk didn’t specifically ask Khan to do that but like, we all know what happened).

He then complained about Hangman Page and The Elite being unprofessional children which led to a massive fight backstage between Kenny Omega, The Young Bucks, CM Punk and his pal Ace Steele.

Punk was suspended for the next 9 months.

In preparation for Punk’s return, Tony Khan created a new Saturday night show to separate Punk from The Elite and all of the The Elite’s friends. AEW Collison became a CM Punk passion project where he was given creative control and we would later find out, he had control over who was even allowed to be at tapings as stories leaked about him kicking out Matt Hardy and Dolph Ziggler’s brother, who is also a wrestler apparently. Who knew?

CM Punk used his power to stop Jack Perry from using real glass in a promo.

There are some conflicting reports on what happened because wrestling journalism is absolute ass.

But some reports say Punk was concerned for Perry’s health and safety while others claim Punk didn’t want Perry using his glass injury as an excuse to get some time off.

In reality, Punk simply didn’t want blood on his program. It’s very important for Collison to be made in his image and he understands that if you bleed all the time then blood loses its power to shock an audience (and he’s right by the way).

Punk and Perry hadn’t seen each other since Punk took away his toys.

Well, until All-In 2023 when Perry sent a message to Punk in the middle of his match on the pre-show against HOOK for the FTW Championship.

Here’s a video of Jack Perry saying, “Real glass. Go cry me a river!” This is what made CM Punk angry. It all started a couple months ago when Punk told Jack that no real glass was to be used at Collision. #AEWAllIn #AEW pic.twitter.com/NnSYZnHPze

— AEW Superfan (@SuperfanAew) August 28, 2023

“real glass, cry me a river”.

Again, wrestling journalism is complete shit so there’s no way to know for sure what happened next but from what I can gather, Jack Perry and CM Punk immediately crossed paths after because Punk and Samoa Joe had the first match of the night.

They got into each other’s faces and Punk clocked Perry and strangled him until he was pulled off.

Then he had a great match with Samoa Joe right after as if he didn’t just manhandle Luke Perry’s son.

An annoying kid who has never accomplished anything in wrestling decided to take their private conversation public in an attempt to embarrass Punk and Punk beat his ass for it.

Jack Perry

“Jungle Boy” Jack Perry debuted in AEW with Luchasauras in a tag team that was supposed to emulate a little boy and his like, big dinosaur toy come to life.

Perhaps I’m giving them more credit for their gimmick than they intended because neither man ever really grabbed a microphone and explained themselves.

He was anointed one of AEW’s “Four Pillars” which was essentially just MJF’s way to compare himself to three other young wrestlers who got their start in AEW. MJF labeled himself, Sammy Guevara, Darby Allin and Jungle Boy as the backbone of the company which I can only imagine put an extraordinary amount of pressure on Jack Perry.

The four men would end up running a program against each other for MJF’s championship.

It sucked.

Guevara, Allin and Perry looked like Make-A-Wish kids in the ring with MJF. Jungle Boy in particular came off timid, afraid and meek.

Since then, Perry made a heel turn in an attempt to get the audience to respect him.

He started a war with ECW that led to a fantastic match against an elderly Rob Van Dam leading to a feud against his former partner, HOOK.

Really hope that we see more of Rob Van Dam in AEW, and not just this as a one off.

Seeing him go tonight was a treat. #AEWDynamite

pic.twitter.com/S2abnPU6oa

— Patrick The Heel (@patricktheheel) August 10, 2023

So when you’re in a blood feud and you’re attempting to establish yourself as a real threat and you’re flirting with ECW-style aesthetics, it makes sense to cut yourself open with real glass to intensify your backstage promo segment.

I imagine how frustrating is attempting to get eyes and attention on yourself and then having CM Punk—the known asshole who you have no relationship with—trying to tell you what you can and cannot do.

AEW All-In is the biggest audience Perry will ever wrestle in front of so he made an inside joke with the very online audience and then got beat up for making a simple joke.

So who’s the winner?

CM Punk makes the most money.

He has an entire TV show he has total control over.

He created his own world championship and no one ever disputed his claims.

He choked out Luke Perry’s son moment before having a BANGER in front of over 80,000 people screaming his name. F

or his entire career, Samoa Joe was the one guy he never went over. He was 0-3 against Joe. Punk beat him twice in the last month.

If we never see Punk again, he had a HELL of a run.

And if we never see Punk again then he gets another automatic W.

See, college football starts this weekend. Collison ratings are going to drop off a cliff and they would’ve plummeted whether Punk was on the show or not.

But now that he’s gone, he gets to claim that he’s the reason Collison’s ratings are down so he still gets to pretend as if he’s some massive draw.

Meanwhile, Jack Perry seems to be telling anyone who will listen that he got beat up by a man approaching his 50’s.

Jungle Boy is, was, and will continue to be the lamest wrestler in AEW and there are A LOT of lame wrestlers in AEW.

Winner: CM Punk

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