thelesterlee
Caitlin Clark news is almost always bad. Her existence invites some of the lamest humans on Earth: weirdos who pretend to care about ratings and business.
Folks who never have and never will care about the WNBA have become obsessed with telling the rest of us how important Clark is to the health of women’s basketball while simultaneously not watching any women’s basketball thus actively disproving their own point but unfortunately, today we have news to trigger the ‘Caitlin Clark is saving the WNBA’ dorks.
Here are the women selected to represent the USA at this summer’s Olympics.
The squad headed to Paris.
Thoughts? pic.twitter.com/XeBdEmiQo1
— Just Women’s Sports (@justwsports) June 8, 2024
As you can see, Caitlin Clark’s name isn’t on this list.
Shit.
Welp, I guess women’s basketball is over. These people say they want to grow their sport but the most important player was left off the Olympic roster.
The Olympics, a global event drawing audiences from around the world—audiences who do not know what a Caitlin Clark is—will get atrocious ratings for the women’s basketball games because no one will care without her on the team.
I cannot stop thinking about this made-up, theoretical viewership they are losing, which I am also telling myself will be the death of the entire women’s sports apparatus all because Clark won’t be there (even though this roster is EASILY going to win a Gold medal with or without her).
Sure, Caitlin isn’t better than any of the players on the Olympic roster and would be spending 99% of the Olympics sitting on the bench watching which would radicalize the lazy, thoughtless discourse around her that does absolutely nothing positive for women’s basketball in any shape or form—but I must continue pretending to care about all of the hypothetical cash these poor women are losing out on now.
Some could argue that if I cared so deeply about the women’s game growing, I would simply just watch these games myself and actively become the change I’m whining about online but I am one, meek man. I can only do so much.
Such a missed opportunity. Billions of people would’ve tuned in to see her, generating billions of dollars for these women but I reckon they don’t care about growing their sport. Hm. What a shame. All these years of crying about equal pay and it turns out, they all hate the woman who could make them overnight billionaires.
Women’s basketball is dead, jealousy of Caitlin Clark killed it.
Back to normal me for a second, this should be huge news for Caitlin Clark fans. And I don’t mean Internet culture warriors. I mean real fans of watching Clark hit 3-point bombs and scoot past defenders with David Blaine-level sleight of hand.
She’s been playing competitive basketball nonstop since moving back into her college apartment last August. 10 months straight, including joining a new league surrounded by bigger, stronger, better-conditioned women and being the eye of a media storm she can’t possibly fully understand her involvement in—and yea, taking a couple weeks off this August to get her head right and like, lay down on the couch with the new season of Perfect Match on the TV instead of getting powerbombed by a 32-year old mother of 2 in the first of a back-to-back on a road trip.
Caitlin Clark getting a little vacation may be the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Opening this media vulture-fication of Clark to a global audience may have ruined this girl—she’s only human after all—but now she can like, nap. Naps may save her career.
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How can we protect Caitlin from the WNBA? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you are also exhausted with this storyline already.
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