Brittany Mahomes Has New Boobs

Brittany Mahomes has been the butt of jokes for years.

Her husband became the best quarterback in the NFL and suddenly, the spotlight was on this proud wife—who was simply enjoying her husband’s success but happened to have little gopher teeth and beady eyes and the body of a tall 11-year-old boy.

Is there anyone worse than Jackson Mahomes and Brittany Matthews? pic.twitter.com/JGFu5Ry1vH

— Vikings Talk (@LetsTalk_Vikes) January 24, 2022

She went a little overboard celebrating sometimes—but if my significant other were winning Super Bowls every other year, I, too, would be the most annoying human alive.

But this is America—where you can be as annoying and loud and dumb and wrong as you want as long as you’re either uniquely talented or you have big boobs.

Considering I have no idea what Brittany Mahomes even does for a living, I reckon she recognized long ago that she did not possess that unique talent—so it looks like she’s elected to take the boobs.

Brittany Mahomes 🔥 pic.twitter.com/XamILGTAvx

— BBQ Chiefs (@BBQChiefs) May 16, 2025

Good for her. This local, peaked in high school, generic blonde woman from the white parts of Texas would be a military wife in almost all alternative realities but this one—where she happens to be glued to one of the most successful NFL players of all time.

I can’t imagine she ever thought she’d end up in rooms with Taylor Swift but here she is, surrounded by wealth and extravagance—and for the first time in her life—women who have both upper and lower lips.

Of course Brittany Mahomes has a new face and body.

And shout out to Patrick Mahomes for letting his wife run crazy with the family credit card.

It’s a cute story to marry your college sweetheart but it’s easier to maintain that relationship when you have the funds to add some upgrades to her old flat tires.

Congrats to the Mahomes family and their new tits. Enjoy.

If you enjoyed what you read, head over to our Substack. We’ve got more content making fun of the ridiculous world we live in, sent directly to your email inbox daily.

Follow us over on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.