thelesterlee
The Milwaukee Bucks fell to 1-6 after another back-breaking loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Giannis Antetokounmpo missed the game with some BS injury to help get him a bonus day off before the NBA’s dedication to get people out to the polls on Election Day.
Not you, Jonathan Isaac. You can stay home.
Milwaukee was supposed to have a full offseason with Dame and Doc Rivers. They were supposed to sharpen their swords, re-tool some of the role players and have a fresh start as a title contender once again.
None of that happened.
Doc Rivers is still Doc Rivers.
Damian Lillard and Giannis didn’t work out together once this entire offseason and it shows.
Khris Middleton had surgery on every bone and muscle in both of his legs and may never be the same again.
Brook Lopez is almost 40.
The Lakers hit Darvin Ham and Taurean Prince with the “ejecto seat-o, cuz” and Milwaukee gladly accepted Los Angeles’s excreted waste.
They used their first-round pick on a teenager who wasn’t ready to contribute to an aging, win-now roster.
And Giannis Antetokounmpo may already have his trade request loaded in his Gmail drafts to fire any minute as his preferred destinations, Miami or Brooklyn, have already leaked out.
The Knicks have been rumored to have interest when that trade request goes public. Karl-Anthony Towns and all the picks is an astronomically better deal than whatever Miami or Brooklyn has.
But before we fantasize about sending away the most important player in Milwaukee Bucks history, maybe we should take a step back and remember how impossible it is to end up with a player as gifted and focused as Giannis. And how it’s even harder to keep one of those guys when you’re based in Wisconsin.
Wouldn’t it make more sense to literally trade anyone not named Giannis Antetokounmpo?
Damian Lillard doesn’t want to play in Milwaukee.
He and Giannis have no on-court chemistry because they don’t want any.
It’s like when you’re hooking up with someone but you know you can do better so you don’t ever really go out of your way for them. You never text them first or you wait forever to respond. You’re not interested in paying for anything. You are quietly still swiping on Bumble for a new match.
Dame and Giannis don’t have a 2-man game together because they don’t expect to be playing together much longer so why bother changing their playing styles in any way to accommodate the other?
Lillard can probably play better defense if he wants but he doesn’t care. Giannis could run more pick and rolls but he doesn’t feel like playing that way.
Trade Dame.
Send him to Miami and let him live his divorced dad fantasies.
You walk into a Miami strip club and there’s a 50% chance you’re dodging a ping pong ball that a woman shot out of an orifice.
You walk into a Wisconsin strip club and they’ll kick you out if you don’t have your first glass of milk emptied in the first 10 minutes of your arrival.
The Pelicans need a center. Trade Brook Lopez.
Trade Bobby Portis. Trade Pat Connaughton. Andre Jackson Jr. Everyone. Give Khris Middleton that Winter Soldier surgery and turn him into a sleeper scorer.
Acquire assets, free up cap space and go hunting for Giannis running mates.
But good luck to the Bucks who will absolutely trade Giannis, tank for years and maaaaaaybe end up with a player who is as good as Michael Redd.
And with all that being said, here are some random Giannis trades for ya:
1. Giannis to the Orlando Magic for Jonathan Isaac, Franz Wagner, Anthony Black and 3 first-round draft picks
The Orlando Magic are ready to become true title contenders and adding an MVP-level player next to Paolo Banchero would instantly make them Eastern Conference favorites. I love the Knicks. The Celtics will win 80 games this year. But none of them have a Giannis.
2. Giannis to the Denver Nuggets for Michael Porter Jr, Aaron Gordon and 4 first-round draft picks
Jokic and Giannis vs. Everyone. This trade also implies the Nuggets waive Russell Westbrook because when you’re a serious basketball organization focused on winning NBA championships, you don’t roster the literal worst player in the league.
3. Giannis to the Phoenix Suns for Jusuf Nurkic, Grayson Allen, Royce O’Neale, Ryan Dunn and 1 first round draft pick
Admittedly, this one is dumb. The Suns wouldn’t have much of a rotation and they only have one 2031 first round draft pick to offer but man, Kevin Durant and Giannis on the same team would be must-see TV. Giannis and big Bradley the Beal on the same team??? Good luck to the NBA.
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