According To The Diamondbacks, There Is Nothing Better Than A Scorching Hot Arizona Summer

On Wednesday night, the Arizona Diamondbacks lost 7-13 to the San Francisco Giants marking their 22nd consecutive road loss. That ties an MLB record with the 1943 Philadelphia Athletics and 1963 New York Mets. Baseball was played in suits and ties back then.

The Diamondbacks have not won a road game since April 25th.

It was an unofficial Madison Bumgarner no-hitter but it doesn’t count as a no-hitter because it was in a 7-inning double hitter. I’m sure there’s something there about bad luck and curses or whatever.

The Diamondbacks have now lost 22 straight road games, tying the longest streak in the modern era (1943 A’s, 1963 Mets).

Arizona is 5-36 in its last 41 games overall, the worst mark by an NL team in any 41-game span since the 1909 Boston Doves (also 5-36).

— Stats By STATS (@StatsBySTATS) June 17, 2021

At the time I’m writing this, it is currently 112 degrees in Arizona.

Phoenix is a cool destination spot for a weekend of golf or visiting a desert or hooking up with older escorts but rarely do you see Phoenix residents so willing to stay in-state.

Most Arizona locals are racking up DUIs and visits to the emergency room from dehydration but there is nothing the Diamondbacks players want more than to be at home sweating.

Madison Bumgarner went out of his way to stress how much he wanted to live in Arizona and ride dirt bikes.

He knew this team sucked and did all his winning in San Francisco. He refused the Yankees offer and just wanted to play motorsports and eat mud.

It’s safe to assume the entire roster feels the same. All they want is to ride horses and stare directly into the sun. Maybe play a baseball game that night and get slaughtered by the Dodgers or Slam Diego.

The last thing these bums want to do is get on a plane carrying their heavy bats and cleats. While all you blue check mark media weirdos are crying about quarantine, the Diamondbacks cannot wait to sit at home and not play baseball.

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