5 NFL Week 6 Games To Keep An Eye On

We’re 6 weeks into the NFL season. Like, it’s going to be over soon and it feels like it’s only the beginning. Shrug. That’s life. Time marches on. Our bodies decay and the world keeps spinning. That was dark. I have to stop watching the news. Let me chill and make fun of some football teams.

Here are 5 NFL Week 6 games to keep an eye on:

1. Denver Broncos (1-4) @ Kansas City Chiefs (4-1)

Let’s quickly review how the last Broncos game ended:

Former #UVa cornerback Bryce Hall returns a Russell Wilson fumble for a TD to clinch a road win for the New York Jets in Denver. pic.twitter.com/YXEOVhMZ4q

— John Shifflett (@John_Shifflett) October 8, 2023

In the last 3 weeks, Denver lost to the Jets thanks to a Russell Wilson fumble with 40 seconds left in the game. They let Justin Fields put up 335 yards and 4 touchdowns. And the Miami Dolphins set records scoring 70 fucking points on them.

And now they play on national TV against the Kansas City Chiefs with Taylor Swift in attendance. All eyes will be on these bad new bears. This is about to be the funniest game of the entire season.

2. New Orleans Saints (3-2) @ Houston Texans (2-3)

This might be the first time this season I’m talking about CJ Stroud but this week doesn’t have many games I can pretend to care about so let’s keep an eye on this Saints/Texans game so we can assess what Stroud is.

Bryce Young was selected no. 1 overall by the Panthers and he looks like he’s never played football before. Meanwhile, Cj Stroud is 3rd in yards (1,461) and 9th in passer rating (98.4). He has 7 touchdowns and 0 interceptions. Stroud is quietly the first good quarterback from Ohio State.

On the other side, the Saints beat the dogshit out of New England last week. The 34-0 shutout was the first shutout in Derek Carr’s career.

The Saints might be getting in a grove. Derek Carr, Alvin Kamara and Michael Thomas all on the same page, all peaking at the same time is a PROBLEM. (more so Kamara and Thomas than Carr but you get what I mean.)

3. New England Patriots (1-4) @ Las Vegas Raiders (2-3)

The New England Patriots are rapidly spiraling and now they’re flying into Las Vegas against the former offensive coordinator who was supposed to replace Bill Belichick and the quarterback who was supposed to replace Tom Brady.

Now, I don’t think Josh McDaniels or Jimmy G are very good at what they do but they have one more win than the Patriots and they weren’t just moliwhopped by the Saints.

This Raiders defense picked off Jordan Love 3 times. They’re about to piledrive Mac Jones through a table.

Bill Belichick should retire this year. The game has passed him by. He’s a blah coach and a trash GM. It might be Old Yeller time in Nantucket.

4. Detroit Lions (4-1) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1)

The Lions vs. The Bucs might be an NFC Championship Game preview. Ew. Jared Goff and Baker Mayfield might have a quarterback shootout this Sunday. Ew. Detroit has a Top 10 offense and they haven’t even called a single play for their first-round running back, Jahmyr Gibbs. Wait until they start using the good players on their team.

Meanwhile, Tampa Bay just finds ways to win football games although if you look at their schedule, they’ve beaten some trash teams and the one good squad they face, Philadelphia, beat them easily. the Lions will be their toughest challenge and if they come out the other side with a W then I might have to say something nice about Baker Mayfield.

Go Lions.

5. New York Giants (1-4) @ Buffalo Bills (4-1)

My contractually obligated inclusion of the New York Giants. *deep sigh*

Daniel Jones, Darren Waller, Andrew Thomas and Saquon Barkley all look like they’ll be sitting out with an injury. This is about to be a bloodbath on Sunday Night Football. This game should’ve been flexed out but the NFL wants to see Giants fans suffer.

The only hope is Brian Daboll and Tyrod Taylor having a chip on their shoulder against their former ball club and we see an inspired revenge game. I will never forget the Bills being on pace to make the playoffs and electing to bench Tyrod Taylor so Nathan Peterman could go out there and toss every football directly into the chest of the defense for nonstop pick-sixes.

Watch this game if you want to see a massacre.