Tom Brady and Bradley Cooper Are Sharing Custody of Irina Shayk

In 2022, Tom Brady was the most divorced man in the world.

He sucked at his job and he looked like he had skipped several meals because it’s difficult to maintain your appetite when you’re weeping.

Until he was spotted getting cozy with Russian model and the mother of Bradley Cooper’s child, Irina Shayk.

Tom Brady clearly has a type: models with accents that sound like they’d pop up in the third act of an action movie to reveal she was the real, secret villain the entire time.

Apparently, they met at a wedding a couple months ago and Irina Shayk “threw herself” at Tom Brady and made a beeline right at him when she spotted him at the event.

That’s either a huge exaggeration or a massive red flag but either way, we are dealing with the most divorced man in the world. I

don’t think he was in the headspace to discern anyone’s intentions.

If their meeting wasn’t a red flag then her currently being on a vacation with her ex, Bradley Cooper, might be considered one.

But again, the two have a child together so there’s nothing wrong with two co-parents spending time together.

Back to school is coming up. They have to figure out who is purchasing all the no. 2 pencils and binders and shit.

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A post shared by irina shayk (@irinashayk)

OH, except she’s posting nudes while on vacation with her ex and it’s safe to assume he was taking the photos.

You’d think that would be a problem for Tom who recently lost his family and his career in like, a 4-month span but nope.

Here’s what a friend of Tom’s said about his reaction to seeing his girlfriend having the time of her life with her (other)boyfriend:

“Tom has no idea if Irina is still seeing Bradley, but it’s really none of his business. Tom and Irina aren’t in a committed relationship, so she’s free to see anybody she likes.” The source adds that, “Tom has been focused on his kids and his career. He still likes spending time with Irina, but things are still very new.”

It’s allllllll good. No love triangle here.

Tom Brady and Bradley Cooper are simply sharing custody or Irina Shayk.

There’s enough for everyone.

You need a plus one for a wedding? Irina is available.

You need some company for your next vacation? Call Irina.

Don’t worry about what Tom or Bradley is doing. They’re all fine with it.

This is why Tom Brady has 7 championships. He understands teamwork. Sacrifice. Discipline. And letting your playmakers go out there and make plays.

I don’t know why anyone is surprised that Tom Brady retired and invested in a timeshare.