Jae Crowder is a 10-year NBA vet who is considered a 3 and D specialist who can guard the opponent’s best wing scorer while being a solid 3-point shooter on the offensive end. He’s been to the NBA Finals 3 times. Lost every single time but he’s been there at least.
Oh, and he’s a horny simp who slides into DMs begging from crumbs of pussy.
Jae Crowder is a 31-year famous NBA player who has made around $45 million in his career yet he’s tip toeing into this girl’s DMs like ‘can I pwease have your snapchat pwetty pwease’.
And we can’t continue mocking Crowder until we take a look at the young lady he is attempting to lay.
This brother is STARVING.
There are 20 girls who look exactly like this at the local mall’s food court at any given moment of the day. Especially in Phoenix where Crowder plays. Go to the local Cheesecake Factory and all of the staff will look like this very normal looking girl.
Not only did Jae Crowder risk it all for a girl you can pick up in the H&M parking lot, but he hit her with the corniest line I have ever heard.
“Sorry idk if your into black guys or not”
My man is THIRTY-ONE YEARS OLD trying to sleep with white girls that he’s not even confident aren’t racist. Crying and shaking for the opportunity to get a taste of MAGA vag.
Again, he’s made $45 million and showing up to Trump rallies like “I know you don’t like black guys but maybe you might want to change your mind for me? If not, it’s cool it’s cool it’s cool I’m sorry for bothering you with my black skin I’m so sorry.”
And I cannot stress enough how average looking this girl is. You don’t have to live like this.
And real quick, do not believe any lie he tells about getting ‘hacked’. This man begged for smooches from Alison with the Confederate Flag bedsheets and then was like ‘oops sorry for being black’.
Someone please feed this starving brother.
