5 MLB Storylines We Gotta Talk About This Week: A Little Racism, A Little Homophobia and The Return of El Gary

WE BACK BAY-BEEEEEE. We’ve got some MLB storylines we need to talk about, folks. This week we have a racist broadcaster, some fake outrage from homophobic dweebs and El Gary returning to New York.

Here are the 5 MLB storylines we gotta talk about this week:

1. Soooo…you just did a racism

Oakland A’s announcer, Glen Kuiper, attempted to tell the story of his trip to the Negro League museum. It didn’t go well:

For those asking why Glen Kuiper just made an on-air apology, here’s why. pic.twitter.com/k1we7gf3GT

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) May 6, 2023

Yike.

Here’s the apology he issued later in the game after casually saying a racial slur for no reason:

“A little bit earlier in the show, I said something, didn’t come out quite the way I wanted it to,” Kuiper said. “I just wanted to apologize if it sounded different than I meant it to be said. I just wanted to apologize for that.”

The Oakland A’s promptly fired him for this ‘mistake’.

Now, I can’t preach worker’s rights and then celebrate when a guy loses his job over a misspeak but let’s not be naive about what happened here. The fact that Glen Kuiper said ‘nigger league’ without realizing he made a mistake and his co-host sitting there not realizing either is more indicative of their worldview and how often they must throw that word around without even thinking about it.

I’ve listened to Michael Kay call the Yankees my entire life. I’ve heard him talk about the Negro Leagues. At no point did I ever fear he’d accidentally say the n-word on live TV because I don’t think he’s a man who just throws that word around when he’s not in front of a microphone.

Like, your brain doesn’t accidentally vomit out words that aren’t already in your vocabulary. I’ve never inadvertently said [insert literally any fucking slur] because those words aren’t even on my mind.

Again, not totally into people losing their jobs but you cannot be a broadcaster or a journalist in SPORTS if you are potentially racist. SPORTS. Like, the most diverse industry in the world. You cannot believe black people are less than when you operate in a world where black and brown people are generating all of the money and are the literal reason why people are even listening to you in the first place.

It’s a shame Glen Kuiper won’t be joining the A’s when they move to Las Vegas. He won’t be able to expense a night at the Bunny Ranch where he would 1000% spend his hour complaining to the fakest tits on Earth about the ‘woke mind virus’ while the woman’s eyes dart to the clock over and over.

2. Gary Sanchez BACK

In 2016, Gary Sanchez made his New York Yankees debut. He hit 20 homers in only 53 games. He was the Rookie of the Year runner-up in again, only 53 games. The sky was the fucking limit for a guy who brought a rare amount of power to the catcher position.

7 years later and Gary was out of the league.

I still blame the Yankees for their inability to develop any talent outside of Aaron Judge. Not only did they fail to help the former All-Star with his plate discipline and his (in)ability to recognize balls and strikes but they lowkey threw him under the bus and destroyed his confidence before trading him to Minnesota for Josh “I just visited the nigger league museum” Donaldson.

But the New York Mets took a chance on Gary and he made his 2023 debut this weekend catching for Max Scherzer, as we all predicted.

Gary Sánchez with his first hit as a Met!pic.twitter.com/dlcvB5LUmz

— Shea Station (@shea_station) May 21, 2023

Sanchez recorded a hit and a sac fly for an RBI. He also struck out twice and that very much still appears to be a hole in his game but he did his job. There is still a place for the 30-year-old for the former Top 100 prospect.

Gary Sanchez has one of my favorite swings of all time. He has unlimited swag when he’s performing well and the Mets will absolutely need that in an NL East with Ronald Acuna, Bryce Harper and Jazz Chisholm, who are leading the league in swag points.

Maybe I’ll go to a Mets game soon to see my boy Sanchez before he gets DFA’d in July.

3. The Padres cannot hit baseballs

The San Diego Padres should be sooooo happy that no one really pays attention to baseball at a national level anymore because every sports TV program would start all of their shows absolutely shitting on a team that on paper, has the most talent in the entire league but on the field, they just do not know how to hit baseballs.

The Padres are dead last in all of baseball in batting average (.222). There are only 4 teams that have scored fewer runs than San Diego: The A’s, Guardians, Marlins and Tigers. You never want to have the 3rd highest payroll in the league and be in the same conversations as the A’s and Tigers.

Their biggest problem is their inability to hit with runners on base. The MLB average slash numbers with runners in scoring position are .254/.335/.414. The Padres are hitting .189/.289/.322 with runners in scoring position. Not good!

The only optimism I can provide is the hope that Manny Machado’s time on the injured list is used as a mental refresher and allows him to return to the team rejuvenated and ready to be the anchor in the middle of this star-studded lineup full of guys who seem to LOVE walking back to the dugout with their heads down after striking out or grounding out in the infield.

4. Let’s talk about Dodgers Pride Night

The Los Angeles Dodgers are hosting a Pride Night on June 16th. Dope. But to avoid an imaginary controversy they manufactured in their own minds, they invited then uninvited then re-invited to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence organization.

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence of a charity group comprised of men dressed in drag—and more specifically, nuns. This group was busting their ass during the AIDS epidemic of the late 70’s and 80’s. They have historically done greater good in the world than any of the losers online lying about boycotting the Dodgers when they know they’re going to keep watching.

No one actually gives a shit about this outside of the politicians who weaponize Christianity to gain brownie points from the elderly people whose entire political ideology is handed to them in a Fox News IV drip they inject in their veins all day.

Here is the official statement from the Dodgers regarding their change of heart:

pic.twitter.com/626cPP4Ith

— Los Angeles Dodgers (@Dodgers) May 22, 2023

Good for the Dodgers for making a stand against ambulance chasers and grifters who are miserable and want everyone else in the world to be miserable too.

Here’s bitch ass Marco Rubio crying about the Dodgers changing their mind:

“Shamefully, (but not surprisingly) the @dodgers have been bullied into apologizing to & “re-inviting” a group of anti-catholic bigots. Today our great country is controlled by socio-political ruling elites who don’t just tolerate anti-Christian bigotry, they encourage & celebrate it.”

We do not need to listen to these evangelical assholes anymore as they scream from the rooftops about drag kids grooming children while the catholic church continues to be the biggest perpetrator of sexual abuse against children.

Round of applause to the Dodgers for ignoring these dorks to bully them into changing their pride night knowing damn well it doesn’t matter if Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are there or not. These bigots are going to be bigots regardless. You do not ever need to fucking accommodate people who hate people. “Oh no, they won’t spend their money here!” GOOOD.

5. Birds aren’t welcome here

Last week, Diamondbacks Ace, Zac Gallen, declared war on the birds.

Zac Gallen has joined Randy Johnson in the exclusive club of…

…hitting a bird with a pitch 🤯 pic.twitter.com/7E8SuITbbh

— Bally Sports Arizona (@BALLYSPORTSAZ) May 17, 2023

This week, Guardian rookie Will Brennan, escalated that war.

I don’t actually have much to say about this. Just, keep your head on swivel out there. The birds can easily join forces to take out all of human life. We should be thankful they haven’t done so yet. We are all on borrowed time.

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