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joey gallo
MLB

The New York Yankees currently sit 8.5 games out of first place in the AL East in one of the most disappointing seasons in recent history. They are exceptionally average and with guns pointed at Aaron Boone and GM Brian Cashman, the organization decided to finally pull the trigger and trade for an All-Star.

Enter Joey Gallo.

The Yankees receive the outfield assistance they desperately need and didn’t need to give up any of their top 10 prospects in order to do so.

How does Joey Gallo fit with the Yankees?

Gallo fits the mold that this organization is dedicated to: three true outcomes. Home runs. Walks. Strikeouts. That’s Gallo’s bread and butter.

The Yankees rank 2nd in the AL in TTO% as a team. You know which individual player leads the league in three true outcome percentage? Yes, it’s Joey Gallo with 57.7. Shohei Ohtani is 2nd at 50.9% so Gallo does what the Yankees do better than anyone else in the league.

Aaron Judge currently leads the team with 21 home runs. Joey Gallo steps into the clubhouse with 25 homers. He’d instantly be the most powerful hitter in a lineup that includes Giancarlo Stanton and Gary Sanchez.

Gallo also leads the league with 74 walks. He will be on base every single game. Or hit a bomb into the Hudson River. I am okay with these potential outcomes.

We also can’t deny the Yankees hopelessness from the left side of the plate. Lefty batters for the Yankees have an AL-wort .388 slugging percentage. Cannot believe how much this team has had to rely on 57-year old Brett Gardner, who is frequently the only left-handed hitter in the lineup and his .194 batting average should highlight how badly New York needs Joey Gallo.

OH, and you cannot leave out that Gallo also has a Gold Glove in his trophy case. Brett Gardner and Clint Frazier simply do not have the ability to both catch and throw a baseball. As I’m writing this, I’m sure Frazier is running full sleep head first into the wall as a ball drops onto the warning track as Frazier concusses on the grass.

Gallo is also under contract through all of next season and Texas will be paying a majority of his salary. There is no way to spin this as a bad trade. The Yankees love grounding into double plays. Joey Gallo has only grounded into a double play 9 times in his entire career.

He’s a lifelong Yankees fan. I’ll see you all at the World Series parade. Wear a fucking mask.

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Lester Lee

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Creator of Deadseriousness. Welcome to the mind palace of a weirdo obsessed with sports and pop culture. Walk with me.

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