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New York Giants vs. Dallas Cowboys Week 3 Live Article

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The undefeated New York Football Giants take on the Dallas Cowboys home at MetLife Stadium for a Monday Night Football broadcast that will either garner national respect for the unbeaten ball club or lead to a week of every NFL personality mocking them relentlessly for losing to Cooper Rush and them boys.

Shout out to all the fans coming to the stadium wearing all white. I know there is nothing more terrifying for me than walking into a room and seeing nothing but a sea of white. Let’s see if that’ll throw off the Cowboys.

1st defensive drive

  • Ceedee Lamb is really good.
  • Okay everyone looks really good against the giants defense.
  • Cooper Rush is going to have a hilarious game tonight.

1st offensive drive

  • 3rd and 3 Daniel Jones not recognizing the pass rush and almost getting blasted and Saquon Barkley dropping a pass on his fingers. Thank you, Dave Gettleman.
  • Every pass play looks frantic as hell but they’re working.
  • Nevermind. It’s not organized chaos. Just chaos.
  • Daniel Jones looks like he’s wearing his grandfather’s old pajamas in these all-white jerseys.

 

2nd defensive drive

  • Noah Brown is making plays I’m sick.
  • Who is Noah Brown??
  • I hate that this broadcast is telling me who Noah Brown is.
  • This game might be a first to score 6 points wins.

2nd offensive drive

  • Every Daniel Jones-type QB needs there David Stills-type QB (I mean yt).
  • Daniel Jones runs like someone else is controlling his legs from home.
  • Putting Kenny Golladay on the field on 3rd down is the equivalent of just punting.

 

 

3rd defensive drive

  • Tony Pollard is my new arch nemesis.
  • Bold move for the Giants not to practice defense this week.
  • Cooper Rush is hilarious.

3rd offensive drive

  • Okay guys, it was funny Week 1 but that’s more than enough Richie James for me.
  • Daniel Jones getting crushed as he throws into tight windows because receivers cannot get any separation. This is my least favorite movie.

4th defensive drive

  • Referees coming together before a Monday Night Football game and deciding to focus on holding calls is insane.
  • Or the Cowboys are just coached by Mike McCarthy and he injects an addiction to flags directly into his players’ bones.
  • Somehow they both rushed for 200 yards that possession and also punting it. Good defense I guess(?)

 

4th offensive drive

  • An amazing first down run followed by a spectacular pass across the middle followed by a sack to erase it all. Giants football bay-beeeee.
  • Kenny Golladay finally does something positive and it doesn’t count. $72 million.
  • Saquon Barkley is really good at this.
  • Golladay is a thief.

5th defensive drive

  • Only 6-3 going into halftime. This is the best case scenario.

 

5th offensive drive

  • Personally, I would assign someone to block DeMarcus Lawrence. Personally.
  • Daniel Jones runs like someone’s chasing him with a gun.
  • The cornerback blitzed worked??? I don’t think I’m making it to the 4th quarter.
  • Always ideal to call a 5-yard pass on 3rd down when you need 10.
  • 6-6. This game is hell.

6th defensive drive

  • Xavier McKinney is really good.
  • Cooper Rush is not.

 

6th offensive drive

  • It always looks like Daniel Jones’s knees are going to hit his helmet when he runs.
  • 36-YARD RUN BY BARKLEY LETS FUCKING GOOOO WE’RE ABOUT TO STAY UNDEFEATED SOMEHOW
  • The Cowboys literally loaded the right side and still let Saquon scamper past them. Dallas is cooked.

 

7th defensive drive

  • How many sacks would the Giants have if Saquon was rushing off the edge? 11?
  • Saquon should also play corner.
  • And maybe linebacker.
  • tie game. Again. Ok.

 

7th offensive drive

  • Free 15-yard penalty for nonsense and the Giants do nothing with it. This game is going to be heartbreaking and there’s no way to emotionally prepare for what’s ahead. I should call out of work right now.

8th defensive drive

  • Having a defensive roster fully consisting of guys who wouldn’t make any other team’s roster is starting to become a problem tonight.
  • If the Cowboys convert this 4th down I’m going to throw up.
  • My insides hurt.
  • I don’t love what’s occuring.
  • CeeDee fucking lamb. Tuesday is going to be hell.

8th offensive drive

  • Sterling Shephard seems concussed again.
  • A drop and a delay of game. Brian Daboll, get your house in order.
  • And another drop. By Kenny Golladay. $72 million on fire.
  • Seriously, at what point do you start checking Kenny Golladay’s phone history to see if he’s betting against the Giants. We all know he has the funds to place big bets and the lack of talent to make those bets win.

9th defensive drive

  • 23-13. To Cooper Rush. I don’t deserve this.

9th offensive drive

  • The Giants cannot wrap their heads around a cornerback blitz.
  • Daniel Jones is the exact type of QB you can blitz every single time and he won’t ever make you regret it.
  • 23-16. I don’t even feel like watching the rest of this game. This is pain.

Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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