The Boston Celtics have miraculously found themselves in the NBA Finals despite their inability to dribble, pass nor shoot a basketball. They are now down 3-2 after losing Game 5 on Monday night 104-94.
Boston is setting records with the number of times they give the ball to the Golden State Warriors. The game literally started with Jayson Tatum driving to the lane and kicking the ball out to Marcus Smart except the ball landed in the 4th row.
Jayson Tatum has broken a LeBron James playoff record.
Unfortunately for him, it’s most turnovers in a single postseason:
2022 Tatum – 95
2018 James – 94 pic.twitter.com/YBCqUfkAca— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) June 14, 2022
Jayson Tatum cannot stop giving the ball to the Warriors. It’s not even just terrible passes. These guys cannot dribble without the ball bouncing off their own feet or ending up in Golden State’s pockets.
Boston coughed up 18 turnovers leading to 22 easy points for Golden State. It’s never great to lose a game by 10 after handing them 22 points off turnovers. So far this series, Boston’s 78 turnovers had led to Golden State scoring 103 points which is the most points off turnovers through 5 games in the Finals since 1990.
Their flaws are so obvious. Stop giving the ball to Golden State. And 5 games later, they will refuse to stop giving the ball to Golden State.
I’ve racked my brain trying to figure out what is going on. Ime Udoka is one of the best coaches in the NBA. Surely, he has his team prepared and they are aware they are losing the Finals directly off turnovers. The worst Twitter accounts you follow can identify this problem so the Celtics must know it too.
But something else is happening here.
This isn’t about basketball. Yes, I’m sure the Celtics would love to be NBA champions. As would I. Seems dope. I can chug champagne on a parade float. But the Celtics aren’t super focused on winning right now because they’re more focused on cooming.
See, we are watching Boston fulfill their weird fetish of giving Golden State their balls and who are we to kink shame them? No one is getting hurt by their actions. In fact, it’s quite beneficial to the Warriors. They love when the Celtics give them balls. Everyone involved is winning. We are simply voyeurs witnessing OnlyFans-level fetish shit. Jayson Tatum broke the record for most balls given. Good for him. I’m actually proud of this team for getting to the biggest stage and showing the world who they really are.
Stop kink-shaming the Boston Celtics. We all have strange things that turn us on.
Also, Warriors in 6.
