Welcome to the first ever Deadseriousness Top 50 NFL Quarterbacks. These rankings will be determined by a points-based system. Sort of.
I will grade these 50 quarterbacks on 5 unique, and important attributes, on -5 to 5 scale.
Here are the 5 categories:
Wins and losses (we can talk about the defense and the offensive line until the lights come on at the bar—but at the end of the day, no one has the ball more than the QB. Wins and losses matter.)
Watchability (swagger. Excitement. Fun. Literally—do I enjoy watching this guy play? HOWEVER, I’m adding a little more to this category. Availability. You can’t be watchable if you’re never on the field to be watched. ALSO, backup QBs will be graded harshly here. I’ve never seen a backup QB jog onto the field and got excited about seeing him play. They’re backups for a reason.)
Decision making (this is my biggest determining factor. An NFL QB’s decision dictates *everything*)
Mobility (running and stuff, you get it)
Throwing the ball over them mountains (I’ll be honest, I’m not a great enough football discerner to determine whether a QB’s arm is strong or accurate enough. Shit, the broadcast doesn’t even show most of the play. But I know when I see a guy who’s capable of throwing a football over them mountains—and that’s cool as shit)
[Disclaimer: Rookies will not be included, because, ya know, I’ve never seen them play in the NFL before.]
Okay, let’s lock in. Here are the top 50 quarterbacks heading into the 2025 NFL season:
1. Lamar Jackson
Mobility: 6. Wins: 5. Decision-making: 5. Watchability: 4. TTBOTM: 5.
Final score: 25
Lamar Jackson is the best quarterback on planet Earth.
Last season, Lamar finished with a 41-4 touchdown-to-interception ratio and led the NFL in passing touchdown percentage.
He is both the most efficient and most explosive player at once.
He’s the first QB I’ve ever seen look as if he was holding something back when he took off running—as if he is saving his top speed for a special occasion—while STILL being faster than anyone else on that field.
He has a Top 10 winning percentage.
Not among active QBs.
He is in the all-time Top 10 when it comes to winning football games.
2. Patrick Mahomes
Mobility: 4. Wins: 6. Decision-making: 4. Watchability: 5. TTBOTM: 5
Final score: 24
Patrick Mahomes has led the Kansas City Chiefs to 5 of the last 6 Super Bowls.
Just by his mere existence—the Chiefs are automatic title favorites when each season starts.
Mahomes went 15-1 last season—with 5 4th quarter comebacks and 7 game-winning drives.
His statistics may have dropped a bit, thanks mainly to a group of receivers who are either old or warrants out for their arrest—but at the end of most games—the Chiefs will have more points up on that scoreboard than whatever team they’re playing.
3. Josh Allen
mobility 5. Wins: 5. Decision-making: 3. Watchability: 5. TTBOTM: 5.
Final score: 23
When it comes to watchability, Josh Allen is the gold standard. I mean, just look at this play:
apparently the NFL is scoring this as a Josh Allen touchdown pass AND a Josh Allen touchdown catchpic.twitter.com/9LSD5kBKNS
— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) December 2, 2024
Josh Allen is so incredible—he throws touchdown passes to himself. His box scores look like games of Madden.
He’s like a high school senior dominating the middle school league.
I know folks have Josh Allen as their no. 1 QB and that’s fine.
But I still think he’s more than willing to throw the most backbreaking interception at any point in a game.
4. Jayden Daniels
Mobility: 5. Wins: 5. Decision-making: 5. Watchability: 5. TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 23
If you haven’t noticed yet, mobility is a major factor in these rankings.
In the modern NFL, you need a QB who can take free first downs the defense hands him by scooting out of the pocket for a few easy yards.
No one in the league better at just advancing the ball forward. It feels like the Washington Commanders offense is never going backwards.
5. Joe Burrow
Mobility: 3. Wins: 4. Decision-making: 5. Watchability: 4. TTBOTM: 6
Final score: 22
The only problem with Joe Burrow is the nagging injuries but even last year, Joe Burrow led almost every statistical category with a bum wrist. The mobility score kept him from that Top 4 spot everyone believe he deserves to be in but like I said about Jayden, the ability to scramble for easy first downs is the only thing missing for Cool Joe’s game.
6. Jalen Hurts
Mobility: 5. Wins: 5. Decision-making: 5. Watchability: 3. TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 21
[Lazy NFL analyst voice] Jalen Hurts? This guy is just a winner, man.7. Justin Herbert
Mobility: 4. Wins: 4. Decision-making: 3. Watchability: 4. TTBOTM: 5
Final score: 20
If you ignore his obsession with blowing playoff games, Justin Herbert casually makes throws that are physically impossible for 90% of the league. His ability to effortlessly throw across the field and hit his receivers right on the hands is Hall of Fame ready. He just has to win more games, man. I’m ready to call you the GOAT but you gotta do GOAT shit. Please.
8. Matthew Stafford
Mobility: 2. Wins: 4. Decision-making: 4. Watchability: 4. TTBOTM: 5
Final score: 19
I’m realizing this ranking is very kind to Stafford, a player who I’m not even sure can walk without assistance because his back is Tiger Woods-status. But until I see it, I will continue believing he and the Rams will march into the playoffs. As always.
9. Jordan Love
Mobility: 3. Wins: 4. Decision-making: 4. Watchability: 3. TTBOTM: 5
Final score: 19
The benefit of acquiring a guy like Micah Parsons is the offense will usually start with great field position. A big 3rd down sack to send the punt team back or even a forced fumble. Jordan Love will be playing a lot of the 2025 season on the oppposing team’s side of the field. Now we’ll see how he looks in the red zone.
10. CJ Stroud
Mobility: 3. Wins: 5. Decision making: 4. Watachability: 3. TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 18
CJ Stroud may have taken a small step back in year two but I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t watch this rookie step into a broken franchise and finish his first NFL season with only 5 interceptions and the lowest interception percentage in the league. Stroud has a new offensive coordinator who is hopefully more inventive than the previous plan of “run on first and second down and then throw on third down” like it’s 1978.
11. Baker Mayfield
mobility: 3 Wins: 4 Decision making: 2 Watchability: 5 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 18
I wanted to put Baker Mayfield in the Top 10 so bad but unfortunately, my foolproof analytics to determine these rankings could not be manipulated by bias. I crunched the numbers and he’s 11th.
12. Kyler Murray
mobility: 5 wins: 3 decision making: 3 Watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 18
Last year, I predicted Kyler Murray would be an MVP candidate. I’m never doing that again. But I do think the Cardinals will be a playoff team. Next year I’ll be saying I wish I hadn’t said that.
13. Brock Purdy
mobility: 4 wins: 4 decision making: 3 Watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 18
Honestly, Brock’s biggest flaw is his health. Otherwise, I don’t think the loss of Deebo Samuel will matter much. Hot Take: Brock Purdy is good.
14. Caleb Williams
mobility: 4 Wins: 2 Decision making: 3 Watchability: 4 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 17
Caleb Williams is the most interesting player on this list for me. This time next year, Caleb Williams could be a Top 5 QB. And just as easily, he can be the next Trevor Lawrence. You have all the offensive weapons. One of the best play callers. Your choice of nail polishes. It’s all on you, Caleb.
15. Bo Nix
mobility: 4 wins: 4 decision making: 3 Watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 17
I bet Bo Nix crushes the pre-game prayer.
16. Jared Goff
mobility: 2 wins: 4 decision making: 4 Watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 16
Ben Johnson gone. A weaker offensive line. Jared Goff may have been a Top 10 QB last season but 16 feels about right for what I expect to see from him this year.
17. Michael Penix Jr
mobility: 1 Wins: 4 Decision making: 4 Watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 4
Finals score: 16
It’s funny because his name sounds like penis.
18. Tua Tagovailoa
mobility: 1 wins: 4 decision making: 5 Watchability: 2 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 15
When Tua ia healthy, the Miami Dolphins can beat anyone. The problem is, a game of freeze tag would send Tua to the ER.
19 .Dak Prescott
mobility: 2 wins: 4 decision making: 4 Watchability: 2 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 15
Congrats, Dak. You are the highest-paid NFL player ever. And the Cowboys can’t afford any talented players around you. C.R.E.A.M.
20. Aaron Rodgers
mobility: 1 wins: 3 decision making: 3 watchability: 2 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 15
Aaron quietly had a decent 2024 season but the expectations in Pittsburgh are far greater than in New Jersey. He might look like Kirk Cousins did last season.
21. Sam Darnold
mobility: 3 wins: 3 decision making: 1 Watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 14
I wouldn’t be shocked if Jalen Milroe was the Seahawks starter by season’s end.
22. Geno Smith
mobility: 2 wins: 4 decision making: 3 Watchability: 2 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 14
Geno Smith has looked brash and confident this offseason after being traded to Las Vegas. Usually when folks fly into Vegas confident they’ll win, they go home in a cheap cross-country bus with the few pennies they have left.
23. Russell Wilson
mobility: 3 wins: 4 decision making: 4 watchability: 0 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 14
All Russ has to do is get the ball to Malik Nabers. That’s it.
24. Justin Fields
mobility: 5 wins: 1 decision making: 1 Watchability: 4 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 14
Here’s a prediction: Justin Fields will break the record for most single-season rushing yards by a quarterback.
25. Drake Maye
mobility: 4 wins: 0 decision making: 1 watchability: 4 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 13
Get ready for the most disgusting-looking sophomore slump we’ve ever seen.
26. Trevor Lawrence
mobility: 3 wins: 2 decision making: 2 watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 12
I wish Trevor Lawrence loved football as much as I did.
27. Bryce Young
mobility: 3 wins: 0 decision making: 3 watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 2
Final score: 11
*whispers* even if Bryce Young was 6-foot-5, I still think he’d be ranked riiiiiight here.
28. Malik Willis
mobility: 3 wins: 2 decision making: 2 watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 2
Final score: 10
I don’t know if Malik Willis is secretly talented or if Matt LaFleur is just the best coach in the NFL but Willis looked good last season when Jordan Love was limping around the team facility.
29. Jimmy Garoppolo
mobility: 2 wins: 3 decision making: 1 watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 2
Final score: 9
Remember when Jimmy G led the 49ers to the Super Bowl? Weird times. There are two eras of Earth: pre and post Covid.
30. Jameis Winston
mobility: 1 wins: 2 decision makin: -5 Watchability: 5 TTBOTM: 5
Final score: 8
The greatest there never was.
31. Aidan O’Connell
mobility: 2 wins: 1 decision making: 1 watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 8
I don’t know if Aidan got a fair shot to prove he can play at the highest level but in my most honest moment, I’d say Aidan O’Connell is basically just Davis Mills, who sucks.
32. Cooper Rush
Mobility: 1 wins: 1 decision making: 2 Watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 2
Final score: 7
I feel like my entire perception of Cooper Rush has been altered by the star on his helmet. Hopefully, he doesn’t touch the field in Baltimore but if he does, I’m curious to see what he looks like on a much better team.
33. Kenny Pickett
mobility: 2 wins: 2 decision making: 1 watchability: 0 TTBOTM: 2
Final score: 6
That’s SUPER BOWL CHAMPION, Kenny Pickett, to you.
34. Sam Howell
mobility: 2 wins: 0 decision making: 0 watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 6
That’s FUTURE SUPER BOWL CHAMPION, Sam Howell, to you.
35. Gardner Minshew
mobility: 2 wins: 1 decision making: 1 watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 2
Final score: 6
The best Colts QB since Andrew Luck. Do not read that previous sentence as praise for Gardner Minshew.
36. Marcus Mariota
mobility: 3 wins: 0 decision making: 1 watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 1
Final score: 6
Objectively the worst Heisman trophy winner of my lifetime. Congrats on Mariota for the heist.
37. Andy Dalton
mobility: 1 wins: 2 decision making: 1 watcabhility: 0 TTBOTM: 2
Final score: 6
Do you think Andy Dalton is jealous of what Joe Burrow is doing in Cincinnati while he sits on the sidelines watching a 4-foot-11 child attempt to run an NFL offense?
38. Joe Flacco
mobility: -5 wins: 3 decision making: -2 watchability: 4 TTBOTM: 5
Final score: 5
At 40 years old, Joe Flacco is here to keep young, promising prospects on the bench, throw interceptions, and smoke darts at halftime.
39. Jacoby Brissett
mobility: 1 wins: 1 decision making: 2 watchability: 0 TTBOTM: 1
Final score: 5
The perfect backup QB if you have no intentions on actually winning games.
40. Kirk Cousins
mobility: -1 wins: 3 decision making: 0 watchability: -1 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 4
36-year old Kirk Cousins coming off a torn achilles being shocked the Falcons might want to also draft a rookie to sit behind him is hilarious. Last season, Kirk looked like he was trying to run in a pool. You’re allowed to retire.
41. Anthony Richardson
mobility: 5 wins: 0 decision making: -5 Watchability: 0 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: 4
Mobility is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. Without it, I’m not even sure I could legally call Anthony Richardson a QB. And not in the racist “he’s fast and black he should be a wide receiver” way. But more in the “Anthony Richardson has no idea how to actually throw a football” way.
42. Will Levis
mobility: 3 wins: 0 decision making: -5 watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 4
Tough that a shoulder injury kept Will Levis from competing for the Titans job with Cam Ward but he’s a tall white guy, he’ll be in the NFL until he decides he’s done.
43. Mason Rudolph
mobility: 1 wins: 2 decision making: 0 wachtability: 0 TTBOTM: 1
Final score: 4
I don’t know what Mason Rudolph said to Myles Garrett but that’s just poor decision-making.
44. Josh Dobbs
mobility: 3 wins: 0 decision making: 0 watchability: 0 TTBOTM: 1
Final score: 4
You know it’s time to turn to another game when Josh Dobbs puts his helmet on.
45. Daniel Jones
mobility: 4 wins: -1 decision making: 0 Watchability: -1 TTBOTM: 1
Final score: 3
After several knee and neck injuries, Daniel Jones is a shell of his former self. And his former self sucked.
46. Carson Wentz
mobility: 2 wins: 1 decision making: -6 watchability: 3 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 3
I can only pray we see Carson Wentz back out on the field throwing amazing passes like this:
Carson Wentz with an ugly interception to Sione Takitaki and he takes it the other way for a 50-yard #Browns TD. No excuses for this one.pic.twitter.com/XiwGL9Cpsy
— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) November 22, 2020
47. Spencer Rattler
mobility: 3 wins: -5 decision making: 0 watchability: 1 TTBOTM: 3
Final score: 2
The number one recruit out of high school in 2019 was fighting for his life to win the starting position against Tyler Shough—a 50-year-old rookie who is terrified of physical contact in a contact sport. Good luck to New Orleans.
48. Mac Jones
mobility: 1 wins: 1 decision making: 0 watchability: -1 TTBOTM: 0
Final score: 1
I have to thank Mac Jones. I wouldn’t be able to make fun of Bill Belichick losing at North Carolina if it weren’t for Mac being dogshit on the Patriots. As Marie Kondo says, Mac Jones sparks joy.
49. Tim Boyle
mobility: 1 wins: -5 decision making: 1 watchability: -5 TTBOTM: 1
Final score: -7
The walking embodiment of “it’s all about who you know” and apparently, Tim Boyle knows every coach and GM personally as he continues to get paychecks across the league despite his inability to throw a football where it is intended to be thrown.
50. Deshaun Watson
mobility: 4 wins: 3 decision making -10 Watchability: -10 TTBOTM: 4
Final score: -9
No quarterback has poorer judgment than Deshaun Watson. His off-the-field decision-making directly leads to why he’s so unwatchable. And I’m not even one of those people who say he shouldn’t be in the NFL anymore. He served his suspension. He did the time. He suffered the consequences. He and I are square. But god, it’s impossible to watch this loser play football anymore.
Thanks for reading.
Let me know your top 50 quarterbacks. Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
