This weekend was the 2025 NFL Draft, aka Mel Kiper Jr’s 13th Reason Why. The entire weekend was centered around the fall of Shedeur Sanders to the fifth round as the Cleveland Browns second choice and the imaginative storylines and conspiracies surrounding it.
But there were also 250+ kids not named Shedeur who also achieved their dreams of being drafted to the NFL. A lot more non-Deion-related things occurred, believe it or not.
So let’s give out some 2025 NFL Draft Awards:
The “We Found Our Good Ol’ White Boy” Award: New York Giants
The Mara family has owned the New York Giants since the 20’s. They also happened to be the last franchise in the NFL to start a black quarterback—and they did it reluctantly back when Ben McAdoo benched Eli Manning for Geno Smith.
This offseason, New York signed Russell Wilson and Jameis Winston.
They were rumored to be in on Shedeur Sanders. The Giants were about to go from “White’s Only” to one of the blackest depth charts in NFL history.
Nope.
New York drafted pass rusher, Abdul Carter with the No. 3 pick and then traded up to move back into the bottom of the first round, scooping up Jaxson Dart—a quarterback so white his name is Jaxson…with an “X”.
John Mara may have lost sleep when Saquon Barkley signed with the Philadelphia Eagles but he’s sleeping like a baby knowing his future franchise QB has bangs.
The “We Can’t Keep Letting Them Get Away With This” Award: Philadelphia Eagles
I’m no scout.
I read. I watch. I react.
I didn’t have Jihaad Campbell—the Alabama star linebacker—falling to no. 31 in the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles—a team who always finds themselves in the perfect positions to draft future All-Pro defenders from top defensive programs like Georgia and Alabama.
Death.
Taxes.
The Eagles drafting a game-ruiner at the end of the first round.
Disaster Class: New Orleans Saints
Derek Carr will miss the 2025 NFL season (thank god). Let’s take a look at his potential replacement, Tyler Shough:
Saints got something special in Tyler Shough pic.twitter.com/ALbU775bzv
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) April 25, 2025
Yuck.
Tyler Shough will be 26 years old Week 1. He is the final player born in the 1900s who will ever be drafted.
I understand not being super impressed by what rookie QB, Spencer Rattler, did last season but wasting a 2nd round pick on an elderly quarterback—who has suffered so many injuries in his college career that he plays like he’s terrified to get hit, ya know, like Derek Carr—is atrocious team building.
The “You Better Be Good” Award: Caleb Williams
New head coach Ben Johnson.
Offensive linemen, Joe Thuney, Drew Dalmon and Jonah Jackson, acquired.
Colston Loveland and Luther Burden drafted, arguably the best two offensive weapons coming out of college.
DJ Moore and Rome Udonze are still there.
Caleb Williams better be good at football. No more excuses. Daniel Jones could win 10-11 games with this much help.
The “Maybe You Should’ve Ran From The Grind” Award: Quinn Ewers
Quinn Ewers could’ve transferred to Miami in his final year of college eligibility to improve his draft stock and spend that extra NIL money on lavish dinners with one of those Cavinder Twins—but instead, Ewers ended up going in the 7th round to the Miami Dolphins to learn under the expert guidance of Zach Wilson.
I know it’s become a lame joke to mock these guys for staying in college too long but we literally just saw Cam Ward stay that extra year and go no. 1 overall.
As long as you improve and you’re not whatever Tyler Shough is, sometimes it’s best to run from the grind.
The “Get His Jail Cell Ready” Award: Jalen Royals
Jalen Royals seems like a good kid. But so did Rashee Rice until the Chiefs went to the Super Bowl and Rice turned his life into a Grand Theft Auto mission.
Jalen Royals seems like he has a good head on his shoulders. But so did Xavier Worthy until the Chiefs went to the Super Bowl and Worthy started strangling women.
Something happens to these rookie wide receivers after they spend a season in Missouri but let us pray Jalen Royals stays out of trouble but given recent history, let’s also pray Royals keeps some bail money under the mattress.
The “I Can’t Wait Until He Wrestles Kenny Omega” Award: Travis Hunter
The Jacksonville Jaguars put all their chips in on Colorado’s actual star prospect, Travis Hunter, a player who excels on both sides of the ball—winning awards for being the top wide receiver as well as the top corner in the nation.
But the Jaguars have yet to prove they are a serious franchise.
Trevor Lawrence fell into their lap and all they’ve done is give him weak ass rosters, uninspired coaching staffs and that time they renamed the stadium after him for some reason.
No doubt in my mind the Khan family drafted Travis Hunter for marketing purposes. Hunter will be tag-teaming with Swerve Strickland by the end of the calendar year.
Biggest Crash Out: Mel Kiper Jr
Growing up, Mel Kiper Jr was the face of the NFL Draft.
He looked like Jewish Vegeta, helping young Lester understand what all these new players provide for the teams that drafted them.
He was a library of knowledge. An expert in his field. A master of his craft.
This year, Mel Kiper Jr spent the entire draft whining about NFL teams passing on Shedeur Sanders—a player he convinced himself was a future Hall of Famer.
No matter who was drafted, Mel turned every pick into a rant against that team for having the audacity to leave Peyton Manning on the board.
And I’m not even exaggerating. Mel frequently compared him to Peyton Manning for some reason.
This is one of the most embarrassing displays of draft coverage you can possibly imagine. Mel Kiper should be done at ESPN. Truly embarrassing. pic.twitter.com/1P3SgJh7e0
— T.J. Moe (@TJMoe28) April 26, 2025
And unfortunately, watching how completely unhinged he behaved throughout the weekend, I don’t think Mel would ever understand how his hyper fixation on Shedeur may have directly contributed to Shedeur’s slide to the bottom of the draft.
Clearly, teams evaluated Shedeur as a backup but why would they rush to draft a backup who has TV broadcasts dedicated to telling millions of people that he’s good enough to start?
That’s a level of attention undeserving of any backup QB.
Players, coaches and execs will have to answer questions about Shedeur every week because Mel Kiper is openly weeping or Stephen A. Smith is shouting about him while Shannon Sharpe sends millions of dollars to the little girls he’s silencing.
I don’t think these people on TV understand how much power they have—and instead of using that power to educate their audience on all the unique players entering the NFL—they elected to talk about a 5th rounder for 30 straight hours.
Biggest Steal: Jalen Milroe to Seattle
I’ve seen Sam Darnold play great once. Ever.
In a perfect, tailor-made situation with a Minnesota Vikings team that could’ve succeeded with Tim Boyle as their QB1.
NOT ONE, NOT TWO, NOT THREE BUT FOUR RUSHING TDS FOR JALEN MILROE 😱
ABSOLUTELY TERRORIZING THE LSU DEFENSE 😳 pic.twitter.com/XuXOsCkLLC
— ESPN (@espn) November 10, 2024
Jalen Milroe has the ability to explode his way into the endzone, like, there’s a very good chance he’s taken some sort of super soldier serum or bitten by a radioactive spider. It would not shock me to find out Jalen Milroe was born with super-speed.
Either way, if Seattle can turn him into a decent passer like the Eagles did with Jalen Hurts then it won’t matter if Sam Darnold returns to what he’s looked like for 99% of his NFL career. Milroe has the potential to be a superstar.
Biggest Winner: Losers
Social media has become unusable.
A cesspool of the dumbest, silliest opinions amplified the loudest.
People unhappy with their boring daily lives open up these apps to play make-believe—imagining a fantastical life far more exciting than their realities.
If people want to know why Shedeur Sanders fell to the 5th round, the answers are readily available. But people don’t want to know what’s really going on.
That’s boring.
They want a shadowy “they“, operating in secret, targeting Deion Sanders and “humbling” his son.
Shout out to everyone who used one of the most embarrassing weekends of Shedeur’s life to go viral by making up conspiracies to explain why the QB who has the ceiling of Andy Dalton and the arrogance to act as if he’s so special that he doesn’t need to take pre-draft meetings seriously—fell to the 5th round.
And of course race played a factor. It always does. Arrogant white guys get far more latitude than their black counterparts. But my guy, Shedeur, acted like these teams should be begging him for his services.
Racism is when a team leaks that CJ Stroud got low test scores because black people are too dumb to play QB. Racism is when execs say Lamar Jackson should switch to wide receiver because black people are too dumb to play QB.
Racism is not when a narcissist doesn’t get what he believes is his god-given right.
Shout out to the Losers. Get those retweets and comments. Nothing in life more important than that.
Biggest Loser: Shedeur Sanders
It sucks that Shedeur Sanders fell to the 5th round. My man clearly did not expect life to come at him so fast.
But Shedeur didn’t just wake up one day as this cocky asshole who believes he’s god’s gift to the game of football. His entire career and attitude have been created by his father—the only man who’s ever coached him.
Shedeur was a 3-star prospect out of high school whose dad tricked the media and then fans into believing he was coming to Jackson State to save HBCU’s and put money and attention back on historically black universities—but in reality, Deion knew his son wasn’t good enough to start for a D1 school so he used the black community for positive PR while spending all of his time and effort into trying to get his son drafted—not giving a single shit about Jackson State.
Deion—who claimed god sent him—left the school before his first recruiting class even graduated.
He didn’t stay long enough to even see any of the growth or change he promised them.
He left them with a cellar full of snake oil—taking all of the best players with him to Colorado—a school that gave his son a better shot at being drafted.
Meanwhile, Coach Prime exchanged his fame for a media storm in which the likes of sycophants like Mel Kiper Jr can artificially pump up Shedeur Sanders’s draft stock—whether they knew they were doing it intentionally or not.
From how awkward Shedeur’s weekend seemed—as Deion Jr made sure to film every second of it—it felt like this is the first time he may have ever considered he’s not as great as his dad has made him believe.
Of course teams are afraid to draft a player who has never once been in a football locker room that wasn’t entirely centered around him—where he’s allowed to show up when he wants or control the music or not have his whole ass family in arm’s length of him at all times.
I genuinely hope Shedeur succeeds, even if it’s not in Cleveland. Like, imagine he has a mid-career renaissance like Baker Mayfield did in Tampa Bay? I do hope he learns how to play football when his father isn’t carefully orchestrating the world around him.
Can’t wait for him and Dillon Gabriel to battle for that 4th string position.
I Just Don’t Have What It Takes To Be As Successful as Pat McAfee
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