5 Questions After Watching The New Fantastic Four Trailer

The Marvel Cinematic has been weird.

The world blew up with a global pandemic at the same time when Marvel put out strange nonsense like Shang-Chi and The Eternals—along with some wack-ass Disney Plus shows no one asked for.

But Fantastic Four is their opportunity to right the ship.

Let’s take a look at the new Fantastic Four trailer:

Oh, I’m in. Take my money now. But before we pre-order tickets, I have a few questions.

Here are 5 questions I have after watching the Fantastic Four trailer:

1. Did they finally get the Fantastic Four right?

This will be the 4th Fantastic Four movie of my life.

The first one with Jessica Alba and Captain America was pretty good.

The next was a movie that helped me nap Saturday afternoons in bed just playing whatever’s airing on FX while I recovered from my Friday nights.

The third one with Miles Teller was filmed in an airplane toilet.

But this trailer seems like Marvel may have cracked the code for a good F4 movie.

It looks like a period piece which makes sense because the Fantastic Four really only makes sense in the context of the ’60s space race and Americans’ curiosity about what’s lurking out there—in their case, “cosmic rays”, giving them special abilities.

They present themselves as this well-manicured, wholesome family of four space explorers when in reality, they are typically at each other’s throats behind closed doors—BUT, the best F4 stories still show how much these four genuinely care about each other and care about doing the right thing with their newfound superpowers.

The vibes in this Fantastic Four trailer are immaculate.

Now, Marvel purposely didn’t show us any footage from their big third-act monster mash against Galactus.

MCU movies as of late have fallen off a cliff in their big final boss battles, turning into gray, smokey PS2 cut scenes but at least Galactus looks like Galactus instead of the big cumulonimbus cloud like in the aforementioned stinkers.

Folks, we may have a banger incoming.

2. What do Mr. Fantastic’s powers look like?

We see what The Thing, Invisible Woman and The Human Torch look like in this trailer but Mr. Fantastic’s stretching powers are absent.

Now, this is probably because the CGI isn’t done which could be a good thing(?)—like, I prefer not to be see anything that isn’t finished being crafted.

Get this shit right.

Not that I think it’s possible to make stretching powers look terrible but I imagine there won’t be that scene from the original Fantastic Four where Mr. Fantastic was crushing the dance floor just spinning ladies from across the room while Jessica Alba was pissed in the corner.

Actually, nevermind.

I need this movie to recreate this scene just like I need the next Spider-Man movie to recreate Tobey Maguire dancing down the streets of Manhattan like he just got his first kiss at band camp and no one could tell him nothin.

3. Are we getting Dr. Doom?

If you’re still reading this then I assume you’re a Marvel head which means you know that Robert Downey Jr has been announced as Doctor Doom in the next big Avengers movie.

And that’ll probably be a cool reveal or whatever.

The MCU has established multiverses and ‘variants’ and all that nonsense so I don’t mind an alternate reality where Tony Stark becomes Dr. Doom instead of Iron Man.

That’s cool as shit actually.

But I’m gonna need the big bad monarch of Latveria who thinks he can save the world if everyone just bent the knee to him and let him take over the world.

I need an accent and everything.

Give me Alexander Skarsgard or Tom Hardy doing an undiscernible accent just fucking hating Reed Richards and the Fantastic Four.

I know Galactus and Silver Surfer will be the main foils and that’s fine.

Do your thing thing.

But whether it’s a post-credit scene or we see Victor Von Doom mask off at some United Nations summit, I need Doctor Doom to be properly introduced in this movie.

4. Is The Thing the same character from The Bear?

Ebon Moss-Bachrach was cast as The Thing, a man most people know from The Bear, shouting COUSIN at Jermey Allen White 9 times an episode.

Most of us know him from working in that kitchen for 4 seasons with Ayo.

And I love that the Fantastic Four trailer shows The Thing in the kitchen tasting food.

In my headcanon, it’s the same character who got hit with cosmic rays and I absolutely need The Thing to call someone ‘cousin’ by the end of this inevitable trilogy.

5. What’s up, Vanessa Kirby?

I have no real relationship with Vanessa Kirby yet. I haven’t watched a Mission Impossible movie since Ving Rhames died.

Sorry to my boy Dwayne but if you held my mother over a 30-story balcony and told me you would drop her unless I watched the Hobbs and Shaw, I would tell my mother how much I love her before walking away to continue my life.

But heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, baby Van.

Text me, Sue Storm.

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