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Selena Gomez is the Biggest Victim of the Trump Administration’s Attack on Immigrants

Known billionaire, Selena Gomez, is actually the biggest victim of Trump’s new immigration policy and we should all band together to help (her)

selena gomez

Monday morning is tough for all of us but no one had a rougher one than Selena Gomez—who went opened up her Instagram app to post herself crying about her Mexican people being under attack by the Trump administration sending ICE out to round up anyone with an accent and send them to [insert name of cheapest flight to cheapest Central American city]

Poor, Selena.

She woke up this morning, read some headlines about mass deportations, got emotional, started to tear up, and held it in for a second as she scrambled to find her phone to record herself crying for an IG story.

I imagine MAGA voters—who believe their lives will improve in the absence of a group of people who have no direct negative impact on any of the problems plaguing them—flooded Gomez’s DMs to dunk on her for caring about immigrants—leading her to delete the post and instead, posting a black screen with the words “apparently it’s not ok to show empathy for people”.

You just have to feel bad for Selena Gomez.

She stars in Only Murders In The Building, one of the most popular shows on Hulu.

She starred in Emilia Perez , a movie that just earned 13 OSCAR NOMINATIONS.

And after the success of her makeup line, Rare Beauty, she’s 32 years old and worth one billion dollars.

And there is just nothing she can do.

On Sunday, ICE reported 956 arrests and 554 detainers were lodged in a single day.

No one on this planet should be punished for the zip code they did not choose to be born in.

The belief that immigrants are sneaking into this country exclusively to rape our daughters and get our sons addicted to fentanyl seems like such a cool, easy way to look at the world.

Wouldn’t it be nice if life were truly that simple?

How do we stop the opioid/fentanyl crisis? Oh, well what you do is round up anyone who speaks Spanish and just send them back to a random Spanish-speaking country. *wipes hands clean* ah, America is saved.

Sometimes being conservative seems lit.

All of your problems are conveniently the fault of those you don’t like.

Unfortunately, a ton of innocent people—who took a risk coming to this country because there was no chance of any life in their home countries—will be put through hell to the cheers of tiki-torch-wielding Neanderthals who blame brown people for the price of eggs.

But as much as I feel bad for these immigrants—after today, I feel even worse for Selena Gomez.

Man, Selena must feel sooooo helpless watching her people get ripped from their safe spaces, taken in custody and left unsupervised in detention facilities where doctors are literally mutilating women—giving them hysterectomies they don’t need and intentionally sterilizing girls who couldn’t even speak, or understand what these evil doctors were doing to them.

Poor Selena Gomez.

There’s just nothing she can do.

$1 billion.

455 million Instagram followers.

The face of one of the biggest TV shows on one of the most popular streaming apps.

I just feel so bad that she can’t help.

If only she could donate to mutual funds that help provide pro-bono legal representation to illegal immigrants fighting for their lives.

But she can’t.

Sure, she could shoot a quick $1K to anyone suffering—providing life-changing money for these people, in like, one, easy Venmo exchange whenever she wants because lord knows she can afford to—but there’s nothing she can do.

It’s a shame the only way Selena Gomez can help is by recording herself crying and not even keeping the video up for a full day.

Most of us are too busy working to keep the increasingly more expensive roofs over our heads so we don’t even have time to consider helping—and those with astronomically fewer resources still find time to donate their time to local food banks or attend town hall meetings—but Selena Gomez has the free time to not only convince herself to weep, but she has the time to post a video of her weeping, comb through all the negative comments and then delete it.

If only she had time to drive to a Spanish neighborhood and help them directly with the money spilling out of her Birkin bags but unfortunately, actually helping the needy isn’t a tax write off so all she can do is say how sorry she is.

I feel bad for the true victim of all this madness: Selena Gomez.

Guys, we need to start a GoFundMe to help Selena Gomez get through this emotionally distressing time. Perhaps if all of us put our pennies together we can all afford to purchase Selena a new assistant who can handle all the grocery shopping, saving Selena from personally driving past any homeless people and feeling the urge to cry on camera.

We must help Selena through this dark time. She needs us now more than ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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