thelesterlee
The New York Jets have found their next head coach: Detroit Lions defensive coordinator, Aaron Glenn.
Let’s gooooooo!
OFFICIAL: We’ve agreed to terms with Aaron Glenn to become the Head Coach of the New York Jets.
— New York Jets (@nyjets) January 22, 2025
Historic day for people who, for some reason, still think the problem with the Jets can be solved with a simple head coaching change.
Anyway, this is a big signing and with every big signing, there are winners and losers.
Let’s start with the biggest winners of Aaron Glenn becoming the New York Jets head coach:
1. Detroit Lions
Ben Johnson leaving for Chicago is understandable. The Bears have a young QB capable of collecting MVP trophies some day.
Aaron Glenn leaving the top-seeded Detroit Lions to go be fired by the Jets in 2026 has to make you question Glenn’s decision-making. Is this the type of man you want leading your defense when the games matter most? I mean, this is the same Aaron Glenn that allowed a rookie QB to put 45 on them craniums in a playoff game in Detroit.
If Aaron Glenn is capable of joining the New York Jets then he’s capable of anything. The Detroit Lions are winners for getting that lunatic out of their building.
2. New York Jets
Obviously, none of us have any idea whether or not Aaron Glenn will be a good head coach.
Not every coordinator has the gravitas and attention to detail to run an entire football program. We are not all leaders of men. Some of us are followers. And that’s okay.
However, Aaron Glenn was the most coveted candidate available( after Ben Johnson), and after reports of the Jets bringing back Rex Ryan—hiring Aaron Glenn is a massive W.
This makes the New York Jets look like a professional football organization and a desirable location for ambitious, young talent.
It’s not a coincidence that great sports franchises have an assembly line of assistant GMs being hired and shipped out across the country like Amazon packages while teams like the Jets don’t even have a GM right now.
Young, smart, talented people will want to work for companies that function as incubators, grooming and developing future nerdy GMs and coaches.
Hiring Aaron Glenn is the right decision. It’s a display of competence—even if it’s a facade.
3. 33rd Team
The New York Jets hired an NFL blog run by some former coaches and execs to help them find their next coach and exec.
The Jets hired Aaron Glenn—the best candidate available.
They didn’t need a consulting firm to tell them it was a good idea to hire the coach that every other team wanted.
So quick shout out to the 33rd team.
Real recognize real.
I, too, am willing to steal a 6-figure check from any club owner who needs a consultant on their payroll willing to set up fake, time-wasting interviews while we all not-so-secretly wait for the Lions coordinators to become available.
4. Sauce Gardner
Aaron Glenn was one of the best cornerbacks of his generation. He won his conference Defensive Player of the Year award. He’s a 3-time NFL Pro Bowler.
Sauce Gardner came into this season looking to become a household name like the Kelces.
People know who Sauce Gardner is but everyone was supposed to learn about him.
And after back-to-back Pro Bowl seasons, Sauce Gardner was kind of just a regular ass guy out there this year.
Aaron Glenn is the perfect coach to put the battery in Sauce’s back, rebuilding him and unlocking his superstar potential.
5. Chicago Bears
Let’s assume the Lions defense takes a step back after losing Aaron Glenn—particularly their secondary—Caleb Williams gets two easier games a year.
Also, let’s assume the Lions offense takes a step back after losing Ben Johnson…to the Bears. Caleb Williams will have an MVP season.
I’m not totally sure if the math maths on that and I’m not showing my work but you get my point.
Aaron Glenn leaving makes Caleb Williams’s job a lot easier.
And now, onto the Losers…
1. Aaron Glenn
Hey man, congrats on the pay raise and getting the job promotion and running your own show and all that but uh, you work for the New York Jets now.
The team didn’t acquire a player last offseason because the owner’s teenage son didn’t think the player had a high enough overall rating on Madden.
So again, congrats Aaron Glenn—you are the manager of some rich kid’s driveway lemonade stand and whatever that kid says, goes.
I love the Jets. The pendulum swings between hope and despair on the daily.
Everyone seems so happy to have finally hired the right coach they all collectively forgot this team doesn’t even know who their starting quarterback will be next season…
2. Aaron Rodgers
…It probably won’t be Aaron Rodgers.
Needless to say, the Jets didn’t reach out to Rodgers for his input in this coaching decision.
I doubt Aaron was even interested in being involved with it.
Football feels like such a small fraction of whatever life Aaron is attempting to construct for himself.
It seems the only thing he enjoys about football is being with the guys but every year, more and more guys realize he’s a weirdo and want to distance themselves.
Garrett Wilson said he’d rather be traded than play with Rodgers next season.
I don’t know what Rodgers ultimately wants—besides parachuting into a third-world country to do acid in their forests—but you never want to be a 40-year-old with no concrete plans for your future.
3. ESPN
I couldn’t understand why Rex Ryan boasted so much about how likely he was to become the Jets head coach. It felt like that would obviously turn the Jets off from hiring him.
🚨🚨WILD🚨🚨Former #Jets HC REX RYAN’s LOCKSCREEN IS A PICTURE OF A WOMANS TOES.
😳😳😳
This was live on ESPN’s NFL countdown this morning. pic.twitter.com/rWXj55GTLP
— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) December 29, 2024
Then I saw Rex show his iPhone home screen of a woman’s toe-sy, woe-sies and realized this is a man with (newly acquired) job security.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Rex Ryan leveraged the Jets head coaching opening to get a contract renewal with ESPN so he can show feet on main.
I’m starting to feel like if you got me in a room alone with Woody Johnson, I could walk out with like, at least $500 in my pocket.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars
The Jacksonville Jaguars just fired their GM. They may be the only organization run worse than the Jets.
Shad Khan forces them to play half their games in England while his son lights a billion dollars on fire smashing his wrestling action figures together.
I want to see Trevor Lawrence succeed but it looks like he will be spending his career playing for a team that makes the New York Jets look like the Belichick-era New England Patriots. Woody Johnson is running a tight ship compared to whatever the fuck they’re doing in Duval.
The NFL needs to investigate why the Jaguars do not in any way appear interested in being a competitive football program. Send them down to that spring league and send up the Birmingham Stallions.
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